I’ve never ended things with someone I’d become intimate with just because I lost interest.
When things end, it’s usually because there’s some other negative factor as well.
That said, in my case, once it’s happened, I feel a sense of accomplishment, so whether it continues to a second time also depends somewhat on the woman.
Sometimes I genuinely want to see her again, while other times I feel that, unless she invites me, it’s fine to say goodbye.
Anyway, if he’s the kind of man who would go without protection without even getting permission, you’re really not losing anything. I think you should stop overthinking it and move on to the next one.
Regarding the change from the shopping, maybe all those comments in your LINE exchange before meeting made him feel he couldn’t trust you. Perhaps he was testing you by turning it around and asking, “What about you?”
Normally, if you’re going to a hotel afterward, you’d go shopping together first.
His distrust grew, and he also had an excuse to turn you down—so after that, he could have his way and discard you. From a woman’s perspective, he sounds like an unbelievable jerk, but it’s almost cute that he was too scared of causing trouble to send a parting shot, or only put one on at the end.
If he puts it in without a condom and only puts one on at the end, he’s clearly determined not to use one at all. I think he’s someone you’re better off cutting ties with.
He’s just a hopeless old guy who was planning to do it bareback and got angry when called out on it. It’s common sense: putting one on from the start is the only thing that makes it meaningful.
People like that should all be removed from the club, so please leave feedback even now.
The change would be at most ¥10,000 anyway, and honestly, what kind of gentleman sends someone out to buy one? lol
Don’t worry—money from a guy like this isn’t going to come back multiplied several times over. lol
The club should really stop focusing solely on making money and admitting awful men. I think they need to start taking both the initial interviews and their responses to feedback more seriously. What do you think?
[追加] A response to Maezawa-san’s comment:
What I’m saying is that anyone could easily come across as a gentleman in an interview conducted so casually at a hotel lounge or somewhere similar.
It seems like the interviews are simply meant to make people feel good and get them registered and admitted.
If I was the only one who received such a careless interview, I apologize.
As the number of staff and members increases, the proportions of both good and bad people increase too. So I imagine the absolute number of bad ones goes up, making them stand out more.
I’m actually wondering how many people have been forcibly removed from the club.
> When I messaged him on LINE before meeting today to ask him to use protection, he got angry.
If he had intended to use protection, there would have been no reason for him to get angry. Since the woman hadn’t said anything, he probably assumed they would go without protection, then got upset when she brought it up right before meeting. That’s the most likely explanation.
> “I’ve been thinking about that properly, so why don’t you trust me?”
Someone who always uses protection wouldn’t say something like that. They would normally respond with something like, “Of course I’ll use it, so don’t worry.” This is a good example of how the person saying things like that is actually the less trustworthy one.
> As for the agreement about using protection, he started without it and only put it on at the end, so I realized that wasn’t what we had agreed on.
He got angry, the other person apologized, and he probably thought he could take advantage of the situation and proceed without protection. Then the subject of using protection came up, and he ended up having to use it after all. At that point, he likely decided that if he couldn’t proceed without protection, he wasn’t interested anymore.
So it wasn’t the lack of change that put him off. He simply no longer wanted to meet because he couldn’t get what he wanted.
The lesson here is that the moment he tried to proceed without protection, she should have gotten out of bed, stopped things, and started getting ready to leave.
She could have said they could resume if he agreed to use protection. But if he kept arguing, it probably would have felt better to just leave.
You happened to encounter a terrible man this time, but there are plenty of good men out there. I hope you’ll continue meeting good men while taking care of your own safety.
> I think it’s about time you started taking the initial screening and your responses to the feedback you receive afterward more seriously. What do you think?
At the initial interview, all the men seem like gentlemen. Naturally, I’ve never seen anyone obviously strange from the start—and while there are very few people like that, we do turn them down when there are.
(I remember another staff member mentioning that someone was rejected after screening because he was exceptionally strange.)
Even among men I interviewed myself, some said things like, “Dinner only is totally fine,” or “That kind of arrangement sounds fun.” I thought they seemed like gentlemen.
But after they joined, the women’s feedback would say things like, “He tried to force me to go to a hotel,” “He kept pressuring me even after I refused,” and, in some cases, “He threatened to tell my school.”
I was practically wondering, “Is this really the same person going on these dates?”
And in the past, it was difficult to forcibly terminate the memberships of people like that. They would say things like, “What’s wrong with inviting her?” or “I never said I’d tell her school,” making it difficult to take action.
Since the men’s rating system was introduced, even when someone tries to make excuses, we can now say, “Given this rating, we have no choice but to terminate your membership.” That has made forced expulsions possible.
So we’re working pretty hard on this.
At this point, I think everything depends on the women sending in plenty of negative feedback.
I really wish women would give bad ratings to strange men without hesitation.
> The point is that anyone can act like a gentleman during such a casual interview at a hotel lounge.
That’s a pretty harsh opinion.
If something can’t be seen in a one-hour interview, it probably won’t be uncovered no matter how many hours you spend, so I don’t think simply making the interviews longer would help much.
For example, if Universe created an exclusive club above its current level and invited only men who had behaved like gentlemen through their activities with Universe, I think it could become a club with only good men.
I’ve suggested this to President Kida several times, but it hasn’t been approved.
Of course, there would be questions about what to do with the women. Men probably wouldn’t be satisfied if they were the same women as at Universe, while moving Universe’s Black Platinum women there could lead people to say that the quality of women at Universe had declined.
There do seem to be too many uncertainties, but I want women who come here to feel glad that they met gentlemanly men. I’d really like to make something like that happen.
If it were a special club with only good men, I think good women would come as well.
Come to think of it, several years ago there was a dating club where men could only join if they were recommended by an existing male member. But when I checked recently, it seemed that anyone could join normally. It may be difficult when you also have to consider the business side of things.
> I wonder how many people have actually been forcibly expelled.
The search for forced-expulsion dates didn’t work properly, so this figure may not be completely accurate. But when I counted them by eye—there were few enough to count—
12 men had been forcibly expelled since April.
There may actually be more, but for now, the number was 12.
Also, some people are expelled immediately for things like drunk driving or secretly taking photos. Others are expelled after accumulating enough negative ratings from repeated feedback from women, such as “He wouldn’t use protection.”
Even among those men, some women have given them positive ratings, so it can take time before they reach the point of forced expulsion. It also seems that women perceive and evaluate these situations differently.
I’ve never deceived a woman over something as basic as whether or not to wear a condom, so I find it unpleasant to be lumped together with people like that as “men.”
I can’t even begin to imagine what goes through the minds of people like that.
Adding this after reading Mac’s answer:
As Mac pointed out, if the other person were an ordinary woman, he probably wouldn’t even remember anything about the bait. In other words, despite deceiving her to have sex without a condom, it seems the experience was only satisfying enough for him to get annoyed about being baited.
