He treats the staff aggressively because he sees people as either above or below him.
He’s being kind to you for now because he still sees you as someone above him.
Men like that will probably start treating you carelessly too once they get bored.
You should be cautious.
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It means you’ll be treated that way if you don’t behave according to your own desires and expectations.
If being told off by a woman you’re seeing in exchange for an allowance were enough to make you change, you would’ve changed long ago.
Akari
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Some people really do act condescending toward those who are vulnerable.
It makes me question their character.
If I confront him too directly, I feel like it might hurt his pride and make him want to end things. What would you do?
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Even if you have to choose your words carefully, being clear is ultimately better for the other person. What kind of pride is it that gets hurt by that, I wonder? Unfortunately, though, there may not be much chance that he’ll reflect on his behavior and change his attitude.
I’m writing this partly as a reminder to myself, but once you’re over fifty, you can sometimes find yourself speaking in a gangster-like way to people in weaker positions without even realizing it. In Joe’s view, there are quite a few people who think, “I don’t speak to people like that,” yet still regularly talk to them in a brusque, disrespectful manner. Since they’re unaware of it, they can be especially difficult to deal with. Many of them make excuses by saying, “I’m not complaining; I’m just making a complaint,” but in many cases, it clearly goes beyond a legitimate complaint, and it often seems as though they’re choosing their targets. Again, Joe is probably no exception. What concerned me most was that he is “extremely, extremely, extremely kind to me.” That makes me think he could change 180 degrees over the slightest trigger.
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You’re better off breaking up with someone like that. People don’t change.
Most people wouldn’t treat a staff member that way. If he can, he must be a pretty unusual person.
Unless you’re into intimidating, forceful types, you probably won’t be a good match.
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