When it comes to women’s feelings in an ongoing relationship with a man who is considerably older, do they worry about being seen when meeting up or going on dates? Is it difficult for them to walk around together without caring what others think, as they would with an ordinary acquaintance?
In my case (no adult relationship), I calculate the allowance for dinner and dates at ¥10,000 per hour, but if the woman is concerned about being seen in public, I’m inclined to end the arrangement.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
Naturally, she wouldn’t be comfortable with that.
There’s a risk of the woman being seen by someone she knows. Aren’t you, as the person asking this question, also concerned about the risk of being seen?
If you’ve decided to end the relationship, then do as you please. But since I feel sorry for her, perhaps you should have the club inform her when you make the offer.
Thank you.
Thanks to self-centered papas like you, my gentlemanly behavior stands out even more. The reason I can succeed in papa-katsu despite having an unattractive face is because women can compare me with papas like you. I’m grateful.
Thank you!
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Even if she thinks of herself as his girlfriend,
to everyone else, it just looks like papa-katsu.
“Even with our age gap, she still gets all lovey-dovey with me!”
I think she’s really just linking arms with Yukichi.
Applause for the woman.
Akari
By the way, I’m not young, and because of my work I meet and have meetings with all kinds of people, so it doesn’t bother me.
Though I suppose the vibe I give off may be somewhat different.
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First, choose someone whose profession doesn’t carry a high risk of being recognized.
People in entertainment or flight attendants, for example, will definitely be conscious of being seen.
For an ordinary woman, she’ll generally only be concerned about someone she knows finding out.
It might be a good idea to date somewhere about as far as a neighboring prefecture from where she lives.
But you should also think carefully about where you eat.
If a man and woman with a large age gap are seen at a city hotel or an upscale, atmospheric restaurant, people may assume they’re doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), which could make her worry about being judged by those around her.
Even if you choose a restaurant where she might go with coworkers, I think some women would still be willing to see you in more of a friends-or-parent-and-child kind of relationship—as long as the allowance is generous and you’re a clean-cut, respectable man she can look up to.
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A relationship between someone in their 40s and someone in their 20s looks unmistakably like papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
You may not care, but women do notice.
Honestly, even someone in their 20s with someone in their 30s would look kind of weird, wouldn’t it?
Even if the two people are close in age, papa-katsu really stands out.
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It depends on the man.
Also, ordinary people don’t pay any attention to whether it’s papa-katsu or not. The only people who worry about that are those who’ve done it themselves.
Lately, whenever I go out with my teenage daughter, I’ve started wondering how people around us see us—probably because I’m doing papa-katsu myself. But family members tend to walk so close that they’re practically brushing against each other. If you’re acting that close, there’s no way for people to tell whether you’re doing papa-katsu, a couple, or parent and child. They can’t even hear what you’re talking about.
If there’s even a little distance between you, though, it doesn’t look natural. Since you have to speak louder when you’re farther apart, people can hear the conversation too—and notice things like mismatched levels of politeness.
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I’m a female member, Potassium.
Based on things I’ve seen in the Q&A box and at hotel breakfast buffets, I’ve honestly been surprised by how much distance some papa-katsu women and their papas seem to keep from each other. Apparently, some people do prefer to keep their distance.
Personally, though, I think people who act like they’re hiding something actually stand out more. And as long as people close to me don’t find out, it doesn’t really matter what strangers think, so I’m perfectly happy to go out for meals, afternoon tea, aquariums, or even fishing with my papa.
That said, my papa has a great sense of cleanliness and takes good care of his appearance, so I do think it’s important that he’s that kind of person.
With one of my past papas, though, he was dressed head-to-toe in Louis Vuitton, and I honestly felt embarrassed and wanted to keep my distance. I was there in Uniqlo and GU, thinking, “What am I supposed to be in this picture?”
That’s just my personal opinion.
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Even with a significant age gap, I think up to around 20 years can just about work if you frame it as a boss-and-subordinate relationship through work. Beyond that, though, it may be difficult one-on-one, don’t you think?
If, like Mac, you take several people out together at the same time, it probably wouldn’t feel quite as awkward.
Wouldn’t it be better to date as part of a larger group?
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I’ve only ever dated people who weren’t that much older than me, but…
Personally, I wouldn’t mind. I’m 36 myself, so I feel that up to around 55, people would probably just see us as a married couple or a regular couple.
Even if someone were over 60, I don’t think it would bother me. I don’t really worry about what other people think. It’s not like everyone around me is paying that much attention anyway. In Tokyo, there are all kinds of people, so acting secretive would probably stand out more.
That said, I think younger people might be more self-conscious about it.
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