How should I deal with a papa who doesn't finish and gets drenched in sweat during intimacy?

For a papa who’s extremely bad in bed and sweats a lot, I decided to only let him do it with me on top. But he still manages to finish, so maybe your situation calls for a different approach. It’s good to look for some kind of solution like that. Marika

There are a lot of different opinions on this, aren’t there? I’m commenting on the assumption that you’re continuing because of your financial situation. If you have another good papa (a male supporter) you’re seeing, how about asking him to meet more often and cutting ties with this papa? I’ve actually had girls come to me several times saying they were having various problems with another papa, and then they started seeing me more often instead. I don’t know whether they actually broke things off with that papa (though I assume they did), and even if that wasn’t entirely true, if it helped them believe that, then that’s fine by me. You do need to choose the other papa carefully, but I think this approach would cause the least stress. That said, as I’m writing this, I realize you’re probably asking because you don’t have that many papas like that in the first place. I know it may not be easy because of your financial situation, but pushing yourself too hard will only wear you down. I think it’s best to start by reviewing whatever aspects of your own life you can.

A certain amount of putting up with things is part of earning money, not just in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). If it’s really unbearable, weigh it against the money and decide for yourself. Still, before cutting him off, you could at least tell him how you feel. He probably doesn’t mean any harm, so it might make him uncomfortable and lead to the same outcome—but if he changes, that’s a lucky break.

There are plenty of memorable JoJo quotes and scenes, but my favorite is when Dio is about to have his ambitions exposed by Jonathan and thinks, “Should I kill him here?”—then catches himself with, “No, wait, it’s too soon.” The asker watches the sweat dripping onto her face, narrows her eyes, and thinks, “Should I cut him off?” Then she reconsiders: “No, wait! The allowance is generous.” It really builds the tension, lol. But the sweat keeps dripping. Finally, the asker snaps and puts on the Stone Mask! “I’ll transcend PJ! I’m quitting PJ—Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!” The papa lies there, reduced to skin and bones. In the window, the asker’s back and profile fade into the dark night, wearing a fearless grin. (This is all one dramatic shot, lol.) Sorry (sweat). I’m heading out soon. Please, seriously, just ignore this answer (sweat). The sweating won’t stop. I’m really sorry m(_ _;)m

I’m Potassium, a female member. My answer would be: if you’re forcing yourself to put up with it, just end things. I think that’s the quickest solution. However, it sounds like you want to find another way to resolve the situation, so instead of trying to change the other person, I’ll share how you might change your own perspective—what I would do, or have done. I used to really dislike people who sweat. If I saw a chubby middle-aged man sweating heavily on a train, with his arm almost touching mine, I’d be like, “Ughhh!” But if I kept thinking that way, I wouldn’t be able to ride crowded trains, right? So I started thinking about why I found this man’s sweat so disgusting. Of course, the components of sweat probably vary depending on someone’s health and lifestyle, but there should be a limited number of types of components. We’re all the same kind of human—homo sapiens, not classifications like Anglo-Saxon—so even though our genes differ, I figured our basic makeup must be pretty similar. (I’d need a research-level brain to know the truth, and I definitely don’t have one, so this is just my own theory.) Once I thought about it that way, I realized that although there may be differences in the types and amounts of components, the sweat coming from this man, the sweat coming from me, and the sweat coming from a man I like are all basically the same when we sweat! At that point, I thought, “Sweat itself isn’t bad after all!” lol So I considered whether I actually disliked this man’s sweat—or whether I disliked him because he was this particular man. Then I asked myself why I disliked him. As I thought more deeply, I realized that, for me, there’s a whole category of men I find instinctively unbearable. From there, I started mentally listing the traits of men who fall into that category and prioritizing the must-have deal-breakers, so I could decide whether or not to let someone into my world. Because whether it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or not, if you have an adult relationship (intimate), you kiss each other, have sex, and cross the boundaries between each other’s bodies in subtle ways. I’m not dexterous enough to put up a mental barrier that perfectly follows the outline of my body, so I think it’s important to decide beforehand what I can and can’t allow based on certain criteria. Sorry for making this so long, but if you feel that papa (a male supporter) is instinctively unbearable to you—you can’t even hold his hand, don’t want him touching you, and feel nauseous at the thought of kissing him—then I don’t think there’s any solution. However, if you don’t actually find this papa physically repulsive, why not think deeply about why you dislike his sweat when its components aren’t all that different from anyone else’s? If you dislike the stickiness, for example, ask yourself why the stickiness bothers you. By questioning every aspect of the other person that you dislike—asking yourself why you dislike it—you may become clearer about what you can and can’t accept. You might even discover that something you thought was unacceptable is actually something you can tolerate. Changing yourself takes effort, whereas changing the other person is difficult. If you don’t want to put in that effort, then end things. That said, what matters is which way the scales tip when you compare that effort with the financial support you’ll receive going forward. Sorry this got so long. I hope I managed to get my point across. Good luck. Well, as usual, this is just my personal theory. Incidentally, if you keep thinking this way, you’ll eventually realize that there’s usually a set destination you arrive at—at least within the limits of what you can figure out for yourself. If you’re interested, try finding that answer for yourself. It may be different from where I ended up, but that’s what makes different ways of thinking so interesting! lol

From the man’s perspective, this may be disappointing because he thought you were enjoying it together, only to find out that wasn’t the case. But this is also a matter of whether you’re sexually compatible, so I don’t think the questioner is at fault. If you’re already at the point where you have to endure it, then as you said yourself, I think it would be better to end the relationship. > The other day, my papa even said, “It’s not fair that only you finished.” That was caused by pretending to finish. He probably believes you’re enjoying it too, and because he genuinely thinks you finished, he may be trying to make things last longer. You could try stopping the pretense and see how things change, but if he was already someone who takes a long time to finish, I don’t think it will make much difference.

As someone who sweats a lot, both the question and the answer hit painfully close to home. I sweat enough for it to drip too, but I’m extremely careful not to let it fall on a woman—no matter what, I won’t let that happen. Even so, I’m sure there have been times in the past when I was rejected because of my sweating... I’m self-conscious about my sweat. So, ironically, I instantly melt if someone kisses me on my sweaty forehead.

If you don’t like it, then it’s time to part ways.

You’re putting up with too much just because the allowance is good. Your kindness is backfiring and encouraging older men who get the wrong idea. Sweat dripping down from above, being covered and pressed against by someone all sweaty and sticky… You should date someone who doesn’t make you think, “No thanks…” Akari

Cutting off that deadbeat is absolutely the right call. Still, you might want to give him one chance. Tell him clearly that it’s too long, exhausting, and painful. You hate the sweating too, and you’d need at least double the allowance to put up with it. If you put it gently, there’s a chance he might increase the compensation. If not, just cut him off. Making him realize that he’s a bothersome old guy could even help society by preventing others from becoming victims.

Sweating is a natural bodily function, so there’s not really anything you can do about it. You’ll probably just have to end things. If you’re pretending to finish because penetration lasts too long, or because the time you’re tied up is so long, it honestly sounds like you’d have better luck going to an adult entertainment establishment.

I think you should probably end things. It sounds like he doesn’t just want to get off—he wants to have real sex. He probably puts in the effort until he’s drenched in sweat and hugs you because he wants to build things up in his own way. He’s looking for an intimate relationship, while you’re only pretending during sex. I don’t know whether he’s consciously aware that you’re acting, but your body is still responding, right? So he probably feels that you’re not genuinely excited and can’t climax. When he drags things out by saying, “You still have time before the last train, right?” I think he wants a relationship where you enjoy being together enough to stay until the last train—not one that’s only about sex. You don’t feel any attraction to him beyond the allowance, do you? So it’s a complete mismatch. A man who can’t notice that lacks experience, and you’re also handling it poorly by not ending things. The genders are reversed in my case, but I’ve felt that kind of mismatch too. Some people want more than money: a presentation, a higher allowance around their birthday, for me to fall more deeply for them and be physically affectionate, or for me to keep showing that I want to see them while maintaining a certain amount of distance. If I can respond naturally to that, I do. But when I can’t, I make it clear that this is as far as I can go and politely but firmly refuse anything beyond that. If things end there, it can’t be helped. In fact, there have been women who ended things and blocked me. But isn’t that better for both sides? If you’re incompatible anyway, it’s best to move on quickly. Isn’t it strange to pretend to be a sex worker when you aren’t one, acting as though you’re devotedly catering to a client’s selfish demands, and then complaining about the client? At a dating club, the basic rule is to say no if you don’t like something. You’re supposed to communicate with each other and find a compromise over what you dislike, what you can accept, and where your limits are. In the case I mentioned earlier, when I made it clear that I couldn’t do anything beyond a certain point, the woman adjusted her expectations. She wasn’t my main partner, more of a secondary one, but we got along well and continued seeing each other for over three years. I told you to “just end it” because you don’t seem capable of making those kinds of adjustments, but it’s true that being able to do so opens up more possibilities. Men can make as many offers as they want as long as they pay the introduction fee, while women have no choice but to wait for offers. Since you can’t control how many chances you get at bat, I think your only option is to improve your batting average. In other words, you should work on the skill of bringing the other person into your own strike zone. Focusing only on what you dislike about someone and complaining isn’t productive. Think about how you can bring things around to where they work for you. Taro

It’s best to cut him off. A man who doesn’t understand that the woman is supposed to be the one sweating a lot is a hard no.