He told me that unless I became intellectual myself, there was no way I could date an intellectual.
So, to date someone attractive, would I have to become beautiful and reach that same level?
For example, does that mean:
- To date someone who graduated from Waseda University, I would have to attend university myself.
- To date a handsome, glamorous person, I would have to become that way too.
Is that what he meant?
Intellectuals with intellectuals…
Just because someone’s handsome, does that mean he’ll go for beautiful women? I don’t think so.
I think it’s more about sharing the same interests.
I love sea fishing, so if the gentleman also enjoys sea fishing, we could go on dates, right?
I think that’s what it means to click with someone.
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To date an intellectual, you need to become one yourself.
The reason is that you’ll often find that your conversations and values don’t align.
That said, it’s not an absolute rule.
If a woman is exceptionally beautiful, a man may still choose to date her despite drawbacks such as not clicking in conversation.
With marriage, though, looks inevitably fade over time, so if you can’t connect in conversation, it’s only natural for the relationship to turn into something like a marriage in name only.
In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I think many men want to date women from completely different professional backgrounds.
Regardless of whether their values align, conversations feel fresh because they get to hear about industries they know nothing about.
By the way, you don’t need to become beautiful to date a handsome man. You just need to be his type.
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Your understanding is pretty much correct.
The most common marriages are between people with similar educational backgrounds—college graduates marrying college graduates, high school graduates marrying high school graduates, and so on.
But papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) isn’t marriage, so a slight difference in education usually isn’t an issue.
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> “You can’t date an intellectual unless you become one yourself.”
I don’t necessarily agree.
For example, imagine a cute young woman and an old country guy cruising the nightlife district in a two-seater pickup truck!
You don’t see that every day, but she was absolutely delighted（笑）
Anyway, it turned out to be a pretty great drive（笑）
Rather than trying to adapt yourself to other people, I think you’ll become more attractive by working on making your own strengths shine（笑）
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Whether an intellectual is the best example or not, I think relationships tend to last longer when your partner—say, an executive at a major company or an office worker—has a lifestyle and background similar to your own. You’re more likely to hit it off and understand what they’re dealing with.
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People are naturally drawn to what they don’t have themselves, so someone who graduated from Waseda might also be interested in women who only finished high school, dropped out, or didn’t go beyond middle school.
And if he’s handsome, I think he could be interested in women who aren’t conventionally attractive, too.
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