We agreed in advance that an adult relationship was expected, but for the first dinner and adult date, do most people give the allowance all at once?
This content is machine-translated.
Or is it better to give it separately?
Also, when someone says “10 per pay-per-meeting,” do more women understand that as including dinner, or do more assume it doesn’t?
I promised to give her 10 the next time we meet.
I meant that as the total amount, but I’m wondering if she might be expecting dinner to be included as well.
I gave her 2 for dinner only last time, so she may be expecting up to 12 in total.
Would it be better to clarify that we’re on the same page before the day of the date?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
I don’t recommend bringing up the allowance again after you’ve already agreed on it, since it can make you come across as overly focused on money.
Personally, I think it’s better not to try to renegotiate or clarify things right up until the day of the date.
By the way, if you’re worried she might be disappointed when you offer 10, why not just give her 12 from the start?
A woman expecting 10 will be happy, while one expecting 12 will simply be satisfied.
That said, I’ve never met a woman who wanted separate allowances for an adult relationship and dinner on a second date.
Generally speaking, preparing 10 should be enough.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
For a first date arranged through a club, it’s generally understood that you give a transportation fee—or, more accurately, a token of appreciation—when you have dinner, and then give the allowance when you have an adult relationship (intimate).
So if you agreed on an allowance of 10, and want to give an additional 2 as a dinner thank-you, it would generally be 10 + 2 = 12 in total.
However, if you agreed that dates from the second time onward would be pay-per-meeting at 10, more than 90% of people would consider the dinner thank-you to be included in that 10.
That said, on dating apps, allowances of 20,000 or 30,000 yen are more common to begin with, so some women may expect an additional 10,000 yen if dinner is included. Naturally, some women may have carried that expectation over when moving to a club like Universe, so there may be women who consider it separate.
Ideally, you should discuss this clearly in advance. That said, since more than 90% of people don’t consider the dinner payment separate, I think you can simply pay it if she brings it up on the day.
If that kind of woman isn’t for you, you could tell her then and there: “I understood the pay-per-meeting amount of 10 to include dinner, so if you want dinner to be separate, it may be difficult for us to continue seeing each other.”
> Would it be better to make sure we’re on the same page before the day?
Yes, I think that would be best.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
It’s probably fair to assume the meal is included, but I think it’s better to ask her directly.
Something like, “I was thinking 10, including dinner. Would that be okay?”
Whether she’ll accept 10 or insist on 12, I can’t really say since I’m not her. In the end, you’ll have to decide based on your budget.
If you’ve met someone you’d be happy to give 10 to on a pay-per-meeting basis, it would be such a shame to end things over whether or not to add 2 for the meal. You’ve found each other, after all!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
If you feel that 12 is too much, give her 20 and say:
“This is for today and next time.”
Then, at the end of your next date, give her 10 and say, “This is for next time.” That way, you can establish 10 as the going rate and solve your problem.
She may be expecting 12, but this unexpected approach might make her think, “I’m disappointed—I was expecting 12, but I did get the allowance for next time, so I guess it’s fine.”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I think 12 is an awkward number, so most women would probably take it as 10〜(*ˊ˘ˋ*)｡♪:*
As Seattle-san says, there may be women who think you mean 12, so it might be worth confirming〜(´・ω・｀)
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
It would be weird to go into all the details beforehand, so when you see her next time and give her 10,000 yen, just ask, “Is this okay?”
If she says something like, “Yeah” or “Thanks,” then leave it at that.
If she asks, “What about transportation?” just give her that amount separately. (Though I doubt there are girls who would say that…)
Normally, I think the total amount should be fine.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
If I agreed to 10 per meeting, I’d understand that as 10 covering everything. Whether we eat together or not, it would still be 10 each time.
Everyone may see it differently, but if that’s what I believed and someone suddenly said, “Just so you know, the 10 per meeting covers everything,” I might think, “I never assumed otherwise… Is that how I come across?” It could feel a little awkward.
I think it’s best to just give her the agreed amount without asking. If she wants to say something, she will—and if she doesn’t, that probably means she’s satisfied, right?!
Of course, as a woman, I’m always grateful when someone gives me a more generous allowance. If it were 10 per meeting plus an additional 2 for dinner, I’d be happy, even while thinking, “You really didn’t have to.” But I’m not that focused on money.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
When negotiating, it would have been better to clarify which one you meant first.
Since either is equally possible, all you can do now is negotiate option two.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
