I joined the club only a few months ago. I offered to meet women in the B category, and thankfully, I’ve met about four for dinner-only dates. I’m not sure whether they’re satisfied with the arrangements, but I give them transportation costs plus a little extra.
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However, if I don’t bring up the important matter soon, we can’t keep meeting only for meals forever. Considering the financial side of things, I’ll need to present my terms.
The woman I like the most dresses rather plainly and wears very little makeup. She has a quiet personality, is tall, and has delicate features. I think she could really stand out if she invested more in beauty and fashion.
Somehow, I feel like I want to help her become a more attractive woman—that’s simply my personal preference. But would telling her, “I’ll give you a higher allowance, so use it to dress stylishly,” hurt her self-esteem?
If you have any good suggestions, I’d appreciate your advice.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
Even if you say the allowance is meant for beauty expenses, if she’s struggling to cover her living costs, those will take priority.
Once you’ve given her the money, you shouldn’t dictate how she spends it.
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If she’s one of your favorites, don’t interfere or give her any reason to drift away. Give her more than enough allowance, then wrap things up after a short time.
If you do that, she may occasionally be the one who wants to see you.
Akari
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Some of my papas also tell me to use my allowance for beauty treatments or for myself, but I don’t really pay much attention to it. Honestly, I just wonder, “Why are you getting involved?”
That said, I’m genuinely grateful when someone like Mr. Make-up-for-It gives me extra money or buys me cosmetics when we go shopping together.
I understand wanting to help shape someone’s look, but if she isn’t interested, she might start wondering, “You don’t like me the way I am?” So please be careful.
I think it’s better to wait until you’ve gotten closer.
Ryo
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It’s up to the woman how she spends her allowance.
If you’d like her to spend more on beauty, I think you should go shopping for beauty products together separately from the allowance.
That said, she may simply prefer her current light makeup. In that case, I’m not sure it’s appropriate to comment on her personal preferences.
First, you should discuss the allowance separately, as its own matter.
Also, when you say you “increased the allowance,” it’s possible that what you thought was generous is still low compared with what other men offer.
I think the best thing to do is have an honest conversation with her first.
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Female member Potassium here.
As Kazu-san said, telling her how to spend her allowance is going too far, in my opinion. If the allowance comes with instructions from the man about what it should be used for, she may no longer be able to spend it on the things that motivated her to start papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) in the first place. So I think it’s better not to do that.
I understand wanting to influence her style, but if you overstep, she may start thinking, “Why is this old guy telling me what to do? Is he really my papa (a male supporter) or what?”
If she’s the kind of girl who’s comfortable going out with you separately from the allowance, you could go with her to a cosmetics counter, buy something for her, suggest a color you think would suit her, or ask a beauty advisor for help. There are options like that, but if she doesn’t like it, that’s the end of it.
If you haven’t known each other very long, though, I honestly wouldn’t recommend even the approaches above—not in my case, anyway.
Some women take pride in dressing plainly and wearing very little makeup. If you try to force them to change, I think they’ll end up disliking you. (I went to an all-girls school for ten years, so I’ve met girls like that.)
I think it’s better to understand why she dresses plainly and wears very little makeup before deciding what to do next.
Oh, and regarding clothes: people often bring up Snidel, but what suits someone depends on their body type, so it can easily go wrong. If she isn’t particularly focused on her appearance, you could consider giving her the opportunity to have a professional do a body-type or personal-color analysis, so she can find clothes and colors that genuinely suit her.
It costs tens of thousands of yen for an hour or two, though~
Just my personal opinion.
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① The allowance can be used for anything—that goes without saying.
② If she provides receipts, I’ll separately cover beauty expenses up to ¥50,000 a month.
I have arrangements like this with several women.
It’s especially appreciated by women who want to put their allowance toward paying off debt, so they just can’t afford to go to the hair or nail salon or buy expensive cosmetics.
Of course, beauty expenses aren’t tax-deductible, so even if they give me the receipts, I throw them away right away.
As the relationship continues, I stop asking for receipts, but they’ll start reporting things like, “I used the beauty allowance for this stuff this month!” Acne care and freckle treatments cost money too, after all. They’re always grateful for the beauty allowance.
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I think it’s overstepping for a papa (a male supporter) to tell a woman how she should use her allowance.
If you want her to invest more in her beauty, I think you should get her consent and give her a gift separately from the allowance.
Wanting her to dress according to your preferences is essentially the same as asking her to go along with your cosplay. Are you planning to tell her to pay for the costume out of her allowance?
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