I’m the same type as Tsubaki.
Even if the allowance is lower than I’d hoped, I’ll meet intimately at least once. After that, I think how things develop will depend on our chemistry, when we’re able to meet, and whether we can agree on the allowance (*˘꒳˘*).
I was going to refrain from answering, but the responses from Make-O Man, Early, and Potassium were so excellent that I wanted to add my thoughts as well. As Make-O Man would put it, it’s better when the Q&A section is lively…
> ・Taking her to a room without mentioning the allowance
> ・Giving the allowance afterward
> ・Always paying 10 or more on a pay-per-meeting basis
I think there are men like this. They may give you plenty of surprises.
> From my perspective, if you can’t create a relationship without valuing that kind of mood, and if you think an adult relationship (intimate) is nothing special once the allowance has been agreed on and handed over in advance—with no way to make up for it afterward—then honestly, you’re probably just bad at spending money.
That’s exactly right.
> On the other hand, for men, discussing the allowance in advance is seen as an advantage—the consideration of not making the woman worry about money.
So I suppose the question is whether or not to use that advantage.
Rather than assuming that everyone should be able to do whatever I can do, I personally prefer seeing it as an advantage: being able to accept others as they are and take things one step further.
Potassium’s analysis is amazing.
At a club, I think the issue is where you show that advantage. And that differs from person to person.
Outside the club, rather than saying things like, “Marry me and I’ll do this for you,” or “Date me and I’ll give you this much money,” you should first make the other person want to marry you, or want to date you…
If someone says that the club is a completely different matter, then fair enough. Still, I wonder whether there are at least a few men and women who want to have a genuinely wonderful relationship.
Some people want to enjoy the club by making use of their advantages, while others want a relationship that goes beyond the club framework. I think everyone should be free to enjoy it in their own way.
For my part, as long as I can continue to convey my current advantages to women, I’d like to keep enjoying these happy relationships. I think many men and women ideally want a good relationship to continue long-term, to the point where neither of them needs to make or accept offers anymore. I believe that having more couples achieve that kind of wonderful relationship would also contribute to the club’s growth.
Also, I had written that my daughter tends to walk so close to me that our bodies are constantly touching. After noticing that, I started paying attention to how women from the club behaved—and they walked just as close, with their bodies touching or bumping into mine repeatedly, sometimes several times within a minute.
At that point, I thought, “I could pass for her father.” If she called me “papa (a male supporter),” just like my daughter does, we’d look exactly like a father and daughter. Of course, there’s absolutely no way I’d want a papa-katsu woman to call me “papa,” and I’d hate it…
And if they eventually stop walking beside me and enjoying themselves like that, I imagine I’ll gradually shift my advantages toward terms (of the arrangement) or paying the allowance in advance. Even if all advantages other than the terms disappeared, if she still walked beside me in the future as naturally as my daughter or granddaughter would, then…well, I suppose I’d still need the advantage of favorable terms.
There are people who enjoy making offers, people who enjoy an adult relationship (intimate), people who enjoy dating, people who enjoy the relationship itself, people who prioritize certainty, and people who are willing to take risks. I think that’s why everyone can find their own place.
Oh, and not using a high allowance or other advantages means the man is taking a risk too. At the same time, it has the benefit of revealing which women prioritize the terms.
Rock-paper-scissors is exciting precisely because you don’t know whether you’ll win or lose. In the same way, someone may agree to date you, marry you, or have a relationship with you at the club. But even if you can build a relationship where you meet through the club, it’s not easy to build something you can truly call a relationship…
Oh, sorry—I forgot to answer the question.
I couldn’t think of an answer to the questioner’s post…
> Please don’t allow anyone who could harm women to remain on the platform.
We’ve already introduced a rating system for men.
If a woman feels that a particular man is harmful, negative reviews will accumulate, and once they reach a certain number, he’ll be forcibly banned.
So it’s not a matter of deciding whether to let him continue—he’ll be forcibly banned as soon as enough negative reviews build up.
The problem is that women are often too patient. Even when they meet a bad man and something terrible happens to them, they frequently just endure it without saying anything. I really wish they would leave proper negative reviews for bad men.
For example:
“Please use protection.”
“Okay.”
But then he proceeds without using it.
In a case like that, he absolutely deserves a negative review. Yet the woman may end up thinking, “It was my fault for not resisting more strongly.”
But that just means he took advantage of her kindness.
I like kind, traditionally minded Japanese women, but even so, I wish they would leave honest negative reviews when necessary.
Not for their own sake, but so that other kind women won’t suffer the same kind of harm, I really hope they’ll give these men the negative reviews they deserve.
Of course, I’d also like them to leave positive reviews for the good men.
I’m Ryo, a female respondent.
Whenever I meet someone like that, I always fill out the survey and also provide separate feedback to the club. I believe it’s being passed on to the staff, so hopefully the number of people like that will decrease once they understand what this person is really like.
I’m a female member, Potassium.
I can understand what the questioner is trying to say. For women, that approach would certainly make things easier.
My view is this:
After the interview, women are sent a video explaining “the best way to handle things.” If you simply follow it, you can behave like a sensible person and have a good relationship. (The content is pretty obvious, though.)
I see this information as an advance advantage the club gives its female members.
For men, on the other hand, I see discussing the allowance in advance as their advantage. It’s a considerate way of making sure the woman doesn’t have to worry about money.
So I think it really comes down to whether you choose to use that advantage or not.
Rather than assuming that everyone should naturally be able to do what I can do, I personally prefer thinking of it as an advantage that allows you to accept others and take one step forward.
By the way, I don’t like the idea of winning women over as if it were a game. So I think it’s awful when someone deliberately doesn’t use this advantage just to make the “game” harder, or brags about having an adult relationship with an A-type woman, or about having an adult relationship with a B-type woman from the very first meeting.
We women aren’t characters in an eroge or dating sim, after all.
I want men to treat us equally, as individual women. And in return, I want women to invite men sincerely, without putting them down, as individual men.
That’s my opinion.
So I also see making an effort to remain humble as a woman’s advantage. That’s why I think people who can’t even do the obvious things are impressive in their own way—though I do wish they wouldn’t inconvenience people who have nothing to do with them.
Sorry for going on so long, but that’s my personal view.
Oh, you wanted an answer to the question?
It’s definitely something that could happen, but it’s not really something outsiders should comment on, so I’m not sure.
P.S.
After reading the other answers, I wanted to add something because I’m worried my answer might be misunderstood.
I’d hate for my personal opinion to be taken the wrong way.
If someone can’t even show that basic level of consideration, it’s perfectly fine to cut them off. They should also be fully prepared to be cut off, so I don’t think you should hesitate to turn down an offer from such a man. You’ll be less likely to regret it later.
Even though I don’t receive many offers, I’ve turned people down myself.
I’m sure there are plenty of people at the club who have that basic advantage, plus an even greater one. In fact, my papa is one of those people—he’s someone who wraps me in a tremendous amount of love.
It’s not impossible that you could go to a hotel without confirming the terms beforehand and end up finding that he’s a generous papa (well-paying) or a good papa. But I don’t think it’s worth taking that risk based on such a slim possibility.
Of course, people who want to take that risk are free to do so. But it’s not only women who can be good at acting—men can deceive you just as easily. If you want to reduce even slightly the possibility of being hurt, I personally think that, at least for the first time, you should have the allowance amount stated in advance and insist on receiving it upfront.
To be honest, from my perspective, any adult relationship (intimate) that can’t be built unless you prioritize the mood, and can’t recover afterward simply because the allowance was agreed on and paid upfront, isn’t much of an adult relationship—or much of a man. He’s probably just bad at handling money.
That said, as I write this, I realize that there probably aren’t many men like the one described above.
In reality, there aren’t that many genuinely good adults or genuinely good men.
[Update]
I didn’t really want to add an update, but this is important, so I will.
To all female members: please protect yourselves.
Someone I’m seeing was terribly hurt in the past by a man who didn’t state the allowance beforehand and paid afterward.
Even so, there are people who insist on sticking to their policy, saying things like it gives them an “advantage.”
Maybe there aren’t any official rules about this, but I still find it troubling that so many women end up being hurt because of it.
In business, too, there are people who will use every trick in the book, and some who don’t care as long as they stay within the rules. But I like the idea of something resembling a gentleman’s agreement, and I choose to do business with people who share that view.
There are plenty of ways I fall short, and there are fundamental issues to consider as well, but I hope I can conduct myself as gentlemanly as possible.
Things like gaining an “advantage” aren’t important to me.
There are exceptions, like Tsubaki’s papa (a male supporter), but men like that are almost always people to avoid, aren’t they?
They go to a hotel without discussing the allowance because they want to prioritize their own mood, and then pay afterward, right? It’s obvious they’re the complete opposite of being a gentleman who puts women first.
“Isn’t it enough if I satisfy her in the end?” doesn’t cut it.
There may be a very small number of women who welcome going to a hotel without setting the allowance first and getting paid afterward, but I don’t want people bringing up such rare cases and speaking as though they represent everyone.
That said, for the entertainment value of an anonymous Q&A box, I’d love to have one male respondent who says:
- “Let’s go to the room without talking about the allowance.”
- “I’ll always pay 100,000 yen or more on a pay-per-meeting basis, afterward.”
- “I’ll pay the allowance afterward.”
And I’d also love to have one popular premium black-label sugar baby who says:
- “Don’t tell me the allowance beforehand—it ruins the mood.”
- “I want you to smoothly pay afterward, based on the value of our date.”
- “If you take me on a wonderful date, I won’t need an allowance.”
It might be incredibly satisfying to see a woman like that go on date after date with the male respondents and bluntly expose them one by one, saying, “What a boring man.”
I’d kind of like to be exposed too♡
P.S.
“To be honest, from my perspective, any adult relationship that can’t be built without putting that much emphasis on the mood—and can’t recover afterward simply because the allowance was agreed on and paid upfront—isn’t anything special. They’re just bad at spending money.”
Early said something really true.
Exactly.
I don’t usually bring it up myself, so there have been times when I went without discussing the allowance. That said, I do make sure beforehand—through meals or coffee—that he’s someone who pays generously.
In fact, one of the most generous papas I’ve ever had was someone I went out with without confirming it beforehand（笑）
After the first date, it’s essentially free dating, so I think you need the judgment to assess what kind of man he is, along with good personal safety awareness.
However, for anything that’s clearly against the rules, I agree with you that it must be reported regardless of whether it happened on the first date or a later one.
It’s not uncommon for a papa to take a woman to a hotel without discussing the allowance first.
That doesn’t necessarily mean the allowance is low, either. Some generous papas simply don’t want to talk about money beforehand.
Apparently, quite a high percentage of men also don’t use protection.
Some women agree to that as well, so I suppose that’s what you’d call free love.
It’s certainly unfortunate when women end up being harmed, but I’m not quite sure why this made you feel so uncomfortable.
Maybe you simply shouldn’t take part in that kind of activity yourself.
Everyone’s feedback after a date is important. Make sure you always leave feedback.
