Tips
Sep 14, 2022 00:21
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I’m new to a dating club.
The other day, I was fortunate enough to receive an offer, and we agreed to meet regularly.
But on our second date, we stayed at a love hotel from early morning until before dinner.
We made do with the free drinks and food provided by the hotel,
and we were intimate more than five times.
Even when we weren’t being intimate, he was constantly touching me, and we kissed the entire time.
He ate a meal and then kissed me without brushing his teeth, so I was sadly left with bits of food in my mouth from kissing him.
(I wasn’t hungry, so I didn’t eat.)
The room was also the cheapest one at the love hotel, and he even had a coupon ready.
Since he’s over 60, I thought we might be able to have a more adult relationship (intimate),
but is this about normal?
I used to belong to a talent agency and worked on TV, so I don’t think I’m unattractive,
and I take pretty good care of my figure, so I’m not overweight.
Is he simply not interested in me?
Honestly, I’m starting to feel discouraged.
Do you all immediately stop seeing someone if you feel they might not be a good match?
12 answers
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
You should’ve turned him down after about the second round.
It’s not normal, but there are all kinds of people out there: weird or pushy people, those who try to get things for free, those who try to do it without protection, those who try to get as much as possible for as little as possible, and people with unusual kinks. Keep that in mind and be prepared.
Know when to say no, and decide in advance what you’re willing to put up with for the allowance.
Also, you’re so cute—don’t you get plenty of offers? Turn down this papa, part ways, and look for another kind, normal papa.
Being able to go five rounds for 60—is that impressive? Are you superhuman??
Other
I’m Ryo, one of the female respondents.
Reaching out so early in the morning shows absolutely no consideration for you. Seeing someone like that regularly would only be painful, so I think it’s best to end things.
You should probably give the club some feedback as well.
I’m sure another good offer will come along. Don’t let this discourage you—I hope you meet a great papa (a male supporter).
Let’s both continue enjoying our club activities.
Other
Some people want to be affectionate, while others use coupons (lol).
That’s pretty common.
I think it’s a good thing to be confident in yourself, and everyone has different preferences when it comes to getting along with an affectionate older man. So it might be best for you to wait for an offer from someone new ✧*。٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*。
Other
Free hotel meals… What a stingy old guy.
╮[╯-╰"]╭
A celebrity who’s over 60 and has done this more than five times—that’s pretty impressive. I don’t think there are many people that age who can manage that many times. Could he be a twenty-something in a sixty-year-old’s skin?
He didn’t even brush his teeth… You’ll have to guide him through this, since he’s never been in a relationship and doesn’t seem to know that what he did this time was wrong.
Just because someone is ugly doesn’t mean you can treat them however you want. There are things you can and can’t do.
Please report this man to the staff so there’s no further trouble.
Then tell him clearly via LINE or another message and cut things off.
Why are you telling yourself to put up with it? You’re not doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to be treated badly, are you?
Other
I’m Potassium, feeling irritable on the commuter train after finishing a work-from-home day.
After reading the whole thing, all I could think was, “Wow, that sounds awful...” Honestly, I couldn’t find any other words, so getting back to the actual question:
If I get a bad feeling about someone, it’s an immediate no from me. Even if they offered me a huge amount of money, it would still be a no.
I do feel bad for the men, but there was one man in the past whom I immediately ruled out, and it was entirely for personal reasons.
He looked clean-cut, was great at conversation, and had registered as Type C, so he invited me to an adult relationship (intimate). I politely turned him down, but the reason was... he looked exactly like someone I’d met through work!
(There was no romantic or sexual relationship—we were just connected professionally.)
I knew that if I had sex with him, I’d absolutely be lying in bed thinking, “Floating, floating, fixed, fixed, interest rate, repayment ratio,” with nothing but money on my mind.
So, that’s the kind of situation I mean. I’ve turned men down even when they’d done absolutely nothing wrong. If you didn’t like him, I think it would be better for your own sake to turn him down too.
And if you say you’re not unattractive, you’ll have plenty of offers!
Just my personal opinion.
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m over 60 myself, but I don’t think this is a normal relationship.
Honestly, I think the older gentleman is trying a little—or rather, quite a lot—too hard.
It’s probably best not to continue seeing each other if neither of you is having fun or getting anything out of it.
You could say, “I’m not able to handle spending such long periods together, so I’m afraid I’ll have to decline.” I think he’ll understand.
A~Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月1程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
It’s hard to say without knowing how much the allowance is, but with a generous allowance, there can also be all kinds of corresponding red flags.
It’s a free relationship, so if you’re not comfortable with it, you can simply end things.
Setting aside the tooth-gunk issue, I don’t think it’s particularly unusual for a couple in their twenties who are romantically involved to spend a long time at a love hotel and get intimate.
🏅 大阪の昼寝引きこもりトレーダー
スペ90以下のひとを厚く囲い込み、一生面倒見て実質一夫多妻で大切にしたい独身です。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
Five times, 10 hours? You’re not a couple of 20-year-olds.
If he invites you again, tell him you’re okay with a pay-per-meeting allowance of ¥300,000. Five times × six.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Generally speaking, if someone doesn’t like the other person, they probably won’t meet them a second time. I think he was simply the kind of man who would do something like that.
I also find it unusual that you would connect this to your own appearance. Not blaming others for everything is certainly a virtue, but you’re taking it too far.
You don’t need to force yourself to meet someone you don’t feel comfortable with.
Other
That sounds really difficult. I don’t think it was because he didn’t like you—you just happened to run into a terrible person. I’ve never had a date like that.
I understand that financial circumstances may make it difficult to end things right away, but you don’t have to force yourself to continue seeing someone you’re uncomfortable with or feel pressured to accommodate.
Other
I think you’ve encountered someone truly rare. More than five times in a day—isn’t that kind of incredible in itself? I wish he’d given an exact number instead of saying “more than.” The highest number I’ve ever heard was seven and a half times. Apparently, the half means he went through the motions but didn’t finish. Tamori mentioned it as his own experience on the radio, and it was so shocking that I still remember it.
Women who have worked in the entertainment industry may be more likely to attract that kind of person. I once met someone from a unit that virtually everyone in that generation would know, and she had an unusually high rate of encountering strange people. Since I love those kinds of stories, I actually started looking forward to hearing them every time.
Since this is a dating club, you don’t have to meet unpleasant people in the first place. And meeting someone early in the morning is already strange from the outset, isn’t it? Agreeing to meet under those circumstances seems far too trusting. Cut people like that off as soon as possible.
Offers are a matter of luck, so it’s not necessarily true that “having worked in entertainment means offers will come flooding in.” Even so, there’s absolutely no reason to continue if it means putting yourself through unpleasant experiences. Have the courage to cut people off, and put your energy into building genuinely good relationships with people who seem promising.
Taro
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを!
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中!
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです!
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Let’s end it right away.
The second date is usually when they put in the most effort... Ideally, the second date should make you feel good, entertained, and excited.
As for an adult relationship (intimate), it might be better to take your time and wait until the third or fourth date. That said, if you feel excited, moved, and genuinely happy on the second date, I think it’s also fine to go with the flow.
> Do you end things right away with someone you feel might not be a good fit?
If you feel that way even a little, I think it’s better to end things. But for women, I think you should end it if you dislike the date itself, rather than judging solely by his appearance.