I told my monthly-arrangement papa (a male supporter) several times, “I’d like to have meals together too, not just be intimate.” He said he understood, but it’s still hotel-only, so I asked to switch to pay-per-meeting payments.
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A few days later, he said he wanted to make up (it seems he wants to return to a monthly arrangement because pay-per-meeting would cost him more).
Would it be a good idea to tell him, “I’m willing to make up, but I’d like you to buy me the sneakers we talked about before!”? Or should I stay with pay-per-meeting for a while?
He also said he’d buy me the sneakers but never did. He said we’d go on dates somewhere other than hotels, but we haven’t done that in the past two years. There were other things too, but I’ve forgotten them…
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂30s👑Universe female member
I think the smartest thing to do is accept that this is simply the kind of man he is.
At the end of the day, he’s a different person from you, so he won’t act exactly as you’d like him to.
If he says he’ll buy you sneakers but never actually does, just understand sooner rather than later that his budget tops out at 10 and he isn’t really that interested.
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Since he’s a papa (a male supporter) looking for an arrangement at a bargain rate, sneakers and pay-per-meeting arrangements will probably be difficult. If you don’t have another papa, you could continue until you find one, but I think it would be better to look for someone else.
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> Or perhaps stay pay-per-meeting for a while.
I think it would be better to stay pay-per-meeting for the time being, but there’s a chance he may move on to other women, so you should handle that part carefully.
Having him buy you a pair of sneakers is a good idea too, but unless you switch to a monthly arrangement after actually receiving them, there’s a chance it could end up being nothing more than a verbal promise.
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Papas tend to forget things quickly.
So when it comes to the two things he can easily provide—a pair of sneakers and a dinner date (no intimacy) whenever you want—he should make them happen right away. Actually, “should” sounds too grand; it’s more that he needs to follow through promptly.
That said, with a monthly allowance of 100,000 yen, you’ll only meet at most twice a month. In that situation, it’s natural for the papa to want an adult relationship (intimate), and to think it’s reasonable to give you the allowance for two adult dates.
The papa you’re seeing only wants to meet twice a month or so and have an adult relationship each time, so he has no intention of buying sneakers or taking you out for dinner.
I think you’ll have to look to a different papa for those things.
Even so, there’s no harm in asking repeatedly about the sneakers, and you can mention the dinner dates as many times as you like. See whether he ignores it or responds, and judge from there.
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Is posting twice the new trend?
Unless the sneakers you want are something like Balenciaga X-Pander, I think it’s reasonable. Personally, I like women who are clear about what they want—they’re easier to negotiate with.
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Just the other day, I suggested going to a concert, but he told me he’d rather have a hotel date (sob).
I thought it was a perfect invitation for autumn—the season of high skies and the arts! Well, maybe not (lol).
Anyway, take everyone’s opinions into consideration and do whatever feels right for you.
Sorry this wasn’t really an answer.
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If you bring up the sneakers at the same time, he may think you’re being too money-focused, so it’s probably best to forget about that for now and stick to a pay-per-meeting arrangement for a while.
In general, papas tend not to take what we say seriously, even when we genuinely mean it.
They’re not exactly free all the time, and they’re probably preoccupied with their families and work. It can’t really be helped. That’s why I keep my expectations realistic and see them without getting too invested. It’s best to focus on the good parts.
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