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Sep 9, 2022 00:33
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https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/14018
Thank you for your advice at the time.
(I had entered the wrong age range that Joe pointed out, so I corrected it.)
Last weekend, I finally couldn’t avoid her anymore, so we just had dinner.
I was so cold toward her that even I could tell I was only forcing a polite smile, but she didn’t seem bothered at all and said, “When do you think we can meet again? ♬”
I know I’m also at fault for not being able to say it clearly, but is blocking her on LINE really my only option now?
Also, have you ever had trouble after blocking someone you wanted to fade out? I feel like I couldn’t get away because I was afraid of that happening.
11 answers
🏅 40歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現AI界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
Try grinning from ear to ear with your teeth completely blackened, like Waga Tanaka, make your fingernails look grimy, and suddenly fly into a rage whenever you see a watermelon. Kick over the bicycles in the bike parking area. From early morning, squat outside a convenience store and eat cup ramen.
If she still doubles over laughing at all that, just accept that she’s the one.
Other
I think it’s perfectly fine to block him! Stalkers can be seriously scary (*´•ω•`*)…
Other
Once you meet even once, they get a taste for it and contact you again. It’s almost like dealing with a snake—scary.
Send them a LINE message saying, “I can’t meet you anymore. I’m sure you’ll find someone better. Thank you for everything up to now,” and then block them.
After that, delete their contact as well. Do you have their phone number saved? If so, block it too.
Don’t drag things out just to save face. Be clear and tell them directly.
A~Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月1程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
First of all, I don’t think it’s gentlemanly at all for a man to be unable to give someone a clear refusal.
Whether you can truly get away from the situation probably depends on how much personal information you’ve shared and how well-known you are yourself.
If you’re only connected on LINE, blocking him should be the end of it.
If he continues pursuing you beyond that, it could potentially become a criminal matter.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
“Couldn’t get away” is a strange way to put it.
The fact that you’re talking about blocking them suggests they didn’t come to your home or workplace—you simply agreed to meet them.
The problem wasn’t that you couldn’t be direct; it was that you were too weak-willed to refuse and ended up making plans to meet.
What you should ask is whether not replying has ever caused trouble. This wasn’t with a dating club, but outside of one, I once had someone show up at my home after I ignored them.
👨 Male
Universe member
You don’t have to fade out on a lovely companion when she doesn’t want you to. Just end things when she says, “I don’t want to continue seeing you anymore. Should we stop?”
That’s my style of dating, and it seems like the relationship could go on indefinitely.
In my case, we’re close, so I’m happy with that. But you’re old enough to know better—please handle these relationships that way.
🏅 プロおぢ。ほんとはプロパパと名乗りたいけど名乗るほどの実力がない名古屋の汚っさんです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
- You can’t even fade out
- You can’t bring yourself to be blunt
- You can’t block him on LINE
People answering questions are a kind of armchair critic—they’re on the outside, in a conference room, so they can say whatever they want.
But you’re the one actually in the thick of it. So here’s a suggestion: if he doesn’t know where you live or work, why not tell him you’ve been transferred?
It’s okay if it’s not cool. When you want to run, you’re allowed to run with all your might.
Even as you’re getting away, seriously reflect on the uncool version of yourself and use it as a lesson next time.
Other
I guess you mean you were talked into it… but honestly, it feels kind of unfair—or just plain uncool.
Fading out is never better than ending things properly.
For either of you.
Akari
Other
That’s cruel. If you meet her and even have dinner together, you’re only giving her false hope. If you have no intention of continuing, you shouldn’t meet her.
You shouldn’t reply, either. One reply is fine, though. When she asks, “When can we meet again?” you could say something like, “I’m sorry, work has gotten really busy, so I may not be able to meet for a month or two.” Then, when she replies, “I understand! Good luck with work,” leave it on read. From the next message onward, leave it unread. If you hide the chat, it won’t count toward your unread-message badge. If a new message comes in, the chat will reappear, so hide it again without marking it read. Repeat this, and eventually she’ll stop messaging you—the fade-out will be complete.
I don’t recommend blocking her. There’s always a possibility she could become a stalker, and if you can’t see the messages she sends, you might be slow to respond. Don’t block her; just leave the messages unread.
Do you know Mimiwa in Kyoto? They serve something called “udon suki”—basically hot pot with udon added at the end. Partway through the meal, they put shrimp into the pot. Live shrimp. One of the female servers prepares it for you, grabbing it with something like tongs and plunging it into the boiling water with a sizzle. The shrimp struggles and twitches, but the server never loosens her grip, pressing it against the bottom of the pot until it stops moving. That’s the moment you realize what murderous intent feels like. The server, without changing her expression, looks like Golgo 13.
You talk about “fading out” as if it were something nice and clean, but what you’re really doing is rejecting the woman’s affection, right? You’re killing her feelings for you. If that’s the case, at least put in as much effort as the Mimiwa server. She’s very professional. No water splashes, and the shrimp is cooked within seconds. But the murderous intent is unmistakable. If you’re going to kill it anyway, you might as well get it over with quickly.
Of course, if her feelings aren’t romantic and she’s simply doing business with a paying customer, then maybe the only thing you’re killing is your own fantasy.(笑)
Taro
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを!
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中!
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです!
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Ignore him without replying.
If you don’t respond at all, they’ll give up after about six months. Whatever you do, don’t reply for at least four months.
I don’t get involved in arrangements that could lead to trouble. Since we know each other’s real names and identities, I can’t afford to make a careless move. If you make sure you know exactly who the other person is before getting involved, you won’t have to worry about problems later.
Other
If you’re not confident you can fully fade out, it may be better to clearly tell them that you can’t meet anymore. That way, you won’t give them false hope, and you’ll stop receiving invitations you’re not interested in—so it benefits both of you.
I honestly don’t quite understand why you’re so set on fading out.
If there’s a specific reason you feel strongly about it, then I apologize for failing to understand.