That’s true. Men usually want results quickly, so while watching how he responds, you could increase the number of dates only, telling him, “I’m not quite ready yet, so please give me a little more time.”
But he may lose patience and make an offer to another woman.
Why not find a papa (a male supporter) who looks clean-cut and seems like someone you’d be okay being intimate with, and try it once? If it’s not for you, then that age group of papas may simply not be right for you—but you might find that you’re okay with it.
I usually decided to move things in that direction around the second or third date, but if you’re feeling anxious, choosing Type A may give you peace of mind. You’d be the one stuck dealing with it if they made some unreasonable complaint.
As for “getting used to it,” I’ve always had a hard time with people who have strong body odor or neglect their appearance, regardless of age. So even at a dating club, it was never a matter of “I can’t do it because he’s older.”
You can tell what someone’s build and level of cleanliness are like before going to a hotel, so I think it’s fine as long as you only agree when you genuinely like the person.
I don’t know what the club told you, but personally, if things haven’t progressed to an adult relationship (intimate) within three meetings, I say goodbye from my side.
I think there are probably quite a few men like that.
If you think you might eventually be open to an adult relationship, choosing Type A is the safest option.
If you explain that at the interview, the staff will probably write your profile as Type A leaning toward Type B.
Even so, if you’re attractive, you should still receive a decent number of offers.
The “fixed relationship dynamic” that Mac-san mentioned is something I’ve also heard many women I’m seeing talk about—it’s a real thing.
Once you’ve met someone for dinner only (no intimacy) a certain number of times, it seems they can no longer imagine the relationship developing into an adult relationship (intimate).
Since I’m with a salon, there aren’t any A or B options, but if I were able to register with Universe Club, I think I’d choose B.
That said, if I were meeting someone for a second time, I’d do so with a certain level of commitment. Based on my limited experience, I feel that after meeting and talking once, you can usually get a fairly good sense of whether you might want to take things further.
Even with a regular introduction, don’t you usually get a vague feeling after meeting and talking with someone about whether you can see things working out with them? Of course, sometimes they turn out to be different from what you expected—but that goes both ways, right?
I’m doing this as a life experience, so what matters to me is whether I feel, “I’d like to see this person again.”
Maybe I can say that because I’ve never met someone and immediately thought it wouldn’t work… And perhaps I feel this way because the people I’ve met have generally been relatively young.
To avoid wasting each other’s time, I think it’s also important to politely decline early on if you feel things probably won’t work out.
Of course, if you’re confident you can satisfy a man with dinner only, that’s perfectly fine too!
There are two types of men in this world: those who feel valued when someone makes them wait, and those who find it a hassle.
I don’t know which type is more common, but I get the feeling that dating clubs have more of the latter—the men who find it bothersome. Since you said, “I imagine the other person wouldn’t like being told ‘maybe someday,’” I think you already understand that.
I’m the latter type myself, and I think Taro’s comment—“What did you come here for? Hurry up and take the leap. People are waiting behind you”—hits the nail on the head.
In a dating club, “people are waiting behind you” is literally true. Men make offers to several women, so while you’re hesitating, another woman may quickly take the leap and win him over.
Some men may be happy to have several women take the leap, but a man’s time is limited too. By the time you finally decide to take the leap, he may no longer be looking your way.
Besides, you don’t know how many diving boards there are, or whether the next one will even seem worth jumping from. The same applies to many things in life: once you decide to take the leap, you often miss the opportunity if you don’t do it promptly.
It’s only natural to wonder what’s considered normal, so from my perspective, usually it’s the second meeting—or the third or fourth at the latest.
Dating isn’t about reaching the point where you take the leap. I think that’s where it begins.
Is it okay to think that I’ll keep meeting him after the second date, and that I may be open to an adult relationship at some point?
☆ Rather than saying “at some point,” if you feel, “I can’t be with this person,” please tell him as soon as possible—or block him. If you both keep things going until the next meeting, it’s just a waste of time and money.
☆ If you feel you might somehow be able to share a passionate kiss with this man, why not move into an adult relationship within three to five dates? If passionate kissing is something you feel you could never do with anyone, choose Type A instead. Otherwise, you may be accused of being deceptive.
☆ I’ve never been intimate with someone around the age of the men I meet, so the hurdle feels pretty high. Will I get used to it after doing it once?
It’s not really about getting used to it. It’s about whether you’d be okay with that person licking your body, whether you’d be comfortable with passionate kissing (a “Magikarp kiss”), and whether you’d be okay with the possibility of him having sex without protection.
I don’t think every man will ask to go without protection, but many men lose their erection when using a condom, so please be careful.
> Is it really a problem if I meet him a couple of times first, while being open to an adult relationship (intimate) at some point down the line?
Yes, I’d say it is.
To begin with, I don’t believe in “someday”—or ghosts—so I can’t help thinking, “When exactly is this ‘someday’ supposed to be?”
In other words, if you have no idea when that might happen, choosing Dating Type A seems inconsistent with what’s generally expected.
Dating Type B technically says “from the second meeting onward,” so you might think even 100 or 200 meetings would be fine. But there’s no way to know what the chances are of an adult relationship (intimate) being okay after 100 or 200 meetings. In fact, I’d imagine that in many cases, things simply continue as dinner only (no intimacy).
At that point, it effectively becomes Dating Type A.
With Dating Type B, I think the unspoken standard is whether you can move to an adult relationship (intimate) by around the fourth meeting.
That said, if registered women are misunderstanding things this badly, I can’t help wondering what kind of interviews they’re conducting.
“I imagine the other person wouldn’t be happy being told ‘maybe sometime down the road…’”
That’s true—since this is a dating club, I’d appreciate it if they could make a decision early and move on to the next person（笑）.
Whether it seems like it might work out or it’s a definite no, I’m fine either way as long as they decide early.
I’d just rather not have things drag on indefinitely.
I know someone who didn’t move into an adult relationship (intimate) until three or four months in, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with seeing things that way. That said, it might be better for you to register as an A type, at the very least, so you don’t end up getting hurt.
I’d like to believe that most men are gentlemen, but there are some who aren’t, so being able to turn them down gracefully and keep deflecting them takes a certain amount of skill.
Honestly, I think there are quite a few people who don’t really care about the relationship type and would rather meet someone registered as an A or B type. I’m one of them.
At the root of my attitude is the strange sense of confidence and leeway that comes from being in multiple relationships—I’m not in any rush, and I’ve never failed to move into an adult relationship (intimate) with someone I genuinely wanted to keep seeing（笑）
From the club’s perspective, I assume it’s better to receive lots of offers, so I’ve heard from women I’ve dated that clubs sometimes recommend B over A, and C over B.
But even if you receive lots of offers, the standard for a first meeting is usually just 1 for transportation, so getting offers from 20 men still only gets you 20. In that case, I sometimes think it’s better to register under the relationship type that honestly reflects how you feel, wait for offers from people who are fine with that, and ultimately receive greater financial benefits while also enjoying the relationships themselves more.
I’m registered as a Type B as well.
Generally, it seemed like the adult relationship (intimate) would come up on the second date or later. I was nervous too, wondering what the men I met would say to me. But most of the men who offered to meet me were kind and told me things like, “If you’re worried, you can take a few dinner dates to think about it,” or, “It’s fine if we only ever have dinner dates.” That said, I knew there would eventually be a next step, so I prepared myself for it.
There were some people I didn’t click with. But my closest papa (a male supporter) was someone who gave me a kind of pleasure I’d never experienced before. I don’t know whether you’ll find someone compatible with you, but trying it once is an option—and if you’re not comfortable, you can always say no. Please take things at your own pace.
In reality, I’d say about a third of B-type women are probably like you, so it’s not that unusual.
I think many men assume that if a woman is B-type, things will be okay from the second meeting onward. But when you say “eventually,” when exactly do you mean? What conditions need to be in place before you move forward? If you’re hoping for a romantic relationship, that’s one thing, but if the goal is ultimately the allowance, then isn’t it just a matter of deciding whether you’re ready to commit?
In that case, I think you should make it a short-term mission, steel yourself, and take the plunge. When someone is standing at the top of a bungee-jumping platform, screaming because they can’t jump, doesn’t everyone watching secretly think, “What did you come here for? Just jump already—the line’s waiting”? We may not say it out loud, but we think it.
On the other hand, some male members get excited by that hesitation and innocence, or compete with one another over how many A- or B-type women they can win over and brag about it. You occasionally see similar customers in the adult entertainment industry—men who pay a lot just to talk without doing anything intimate. It would be great if you happened to meet someone like that, but the odds aren’t very high. So I think you need a certain ability to say no, or at least the mental strength to stay unfazed even when things get awkward or you have an unpleasant experience.
Also, women seem to get used to it after a few meetings. One woman told me around the third time, “I’m finally starting to get used to it(^^).” I did think, “Couldn’t you have put that a little better?” But she said it so happily that I didn’t take it badly.
P.S.
I just remembered someone who never got used to it. Things were fine up to about the second meeting, but from the third onward, the intervals between meetings gradually got longer. After we met for the fourth time, she told me, “This is still too difficult for me,” and we ended things.
I think the reason it failed was that too much time passed between the second and third meetings. There were unavoidable circumstances behind the gap, but it felt like she had clearly started to get comfortable and then regressed. I couldn’t recover from that loss of momentum.
So I think it’s better to meet once every week or two for the first three to five meetings.
Taro
This is just my personal opinion, but I think you should go with Type A.
I love Type A girls, though nobody asked.
> You’ll continue seeing each other after the second date, with an adult relationship being an option someday.
Personally, I wouldn’t mind continuing dinner dates for as long as we were both having fun. But most papas place a lot of importance on getting off, so I think you’d be dropped in no time.
Among the Type B women who took a while to move toward an adult relationship, only one ever became a favorite of mine. She was exceptionally cute and delicate, and never played games or tried to negotiate. It was her first time with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and she was cautious about an adult relationship, but I enjoyed our dinner dates anyway, so we kept seeing each other.
We became intimate three months later.
Even if it’s eventually—someday—I don’t mind.
If you’re going to say things like:
> “It’ll probably be unpleasant”
or
> “Will I get used to it?”
then don’t bother meeting him in the first place.
What kind of personality do you have? No—what kind of character?
Doing it once doesn’t mean you’ll get used to it. You can’t—or won’t—do it in the first place, right? I don’t think you have any intention of doing so.
You simply shouldn’t meet someone that age. As the person asking the question…
There are women in this world who can be with men 20 or 30 years older without a problem, and women who can’t. The latter won’t enjoy papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
