I joined the club at the milestone age of 60, and it’s been almost three months. With the club’s advice, I’ve been fortunate enough to meet some wonderful people, and I’m currently seeing four partners on a regular basis.
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(Breakdown)
1 person: Every weekend, daytime, dates farther away
2 people: Every other week, afternoons, dates nearby
1 person: Once or twice a month, evenings, dates nearby
I’m now wondering whether I should add one more person to my dating arrangements. (Of course, I fully understand that I should make this decision while considering my own schedule, stamina, and ability to provide allowances.)
I have a few questions for everyone who answers:
① For the male respondents:
How many women (members) are you seeing, and how often?
② For the female respondents:
How many men (members) are you seeing, and how often?
I wanted to ask so I can use your answers as a reference for my future arrangements. (Please forgive me if anything I’ve said was inappropriate.)
Thank you in advance for taking the time to respond.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
I’m single too (*´ ꒳ `*)
Sorry I can’t be more helpful…
That said, we exchange messages more often than we meet. Since I live in the countryside, it’s hard for our schedules to line up.
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My current situation is:
- One person: 3–5 times a month
- One person: 1–2 times a month
- Three people: 0–1 time a month
I don’t have an adult relationship every time, and it’s heavily influenced by my work schedule.
The person I’m closest to has become more of a priority, so lately I’ve been seeing the others less often.
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I’ve had up to three papas at one time before. Some I saw twice a week, while others I met twice a month.
But my monthly-arrangement papa told me, “I’ll support you with tens of millions of yen if that’s what it takes for Misei. I’ll provide for you for the rest of your life!” So I decided to have an adult relationship (intimate) with him exclusively.
That said, I still have other dinner-only papas.
I didn’t do this just because he said those things. I like him too, he treats me incredibly well, and I genuinely wanted to make that choice myself.
I don’t know what the future holds, but for now, having one adult relationship (intimate) feels secure and fulfilling.
Our relationship is more like that of a boyfriend and girlfriend, so I no longer feel like he’s just my papa—I feel like I’m essentially his mistress.
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If someone else was seeing two people a day and dating 60 people at once, would you date 60 people too?
Even if you ask about other people, there doesn’t seem to be much point if you can’t actually do the same yourself.
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I’m Marika, and I’m feeling lonely because the papa (a male supporter) I used to see every week is away on a long-term business trip.
The other men I see are only a few people I meet about once a month. I suppose that’s because I always prioritized my favorite weekly papa.
Marika
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One woman I see 3–4 times a week.
One woman I see once or twice a week.
And separately, there’s one woman who approached me with a reverse offer, but I haven’t been able to see her for the past two or three months.
Right now, this is probably the time to make lots of offers and look for women you’re more compatible with and can genuinely enjoy spending time with.
Also, some people prefer having many monthly arrangements, while others prefer narrowing it down to one or two people.
Some women are comfortable dating multiple people, while others aren’t.
I think that after about six months, you’ll start to get a clearer idea of the style you want.
You’re already going on dates at least two or three times a week, so the women you meet are also available to date at that frequency. Whether both of you prefer doing that with the same person, or find it more enjoyable to see different people, is something that varies from person to person.
And because this is a dating club, some people feel there’s a risk of things ending if they see one person too often, while others feel reassured as the relationship grows deeper. That also depends on the individual.
You also can’t tell from conversation whether the woman is seeing only one papa, and even meeting four or five times a week doesn’t necessarily tell you. Since relationships through a club can end at any time for both men and women, it’s natural for people to keep a backup option.
In other words, you have to make her feel that she doesn’t need to worry about that. As Marika wrote before, this means going beyond the framework of a dating club. And it can’t be one-sided—the two of you both need to develop mutual trust strong enough that neither of you feels the need for a backup.
I also think this naturally depends on whether you tend to have long-term or short-term relationships with women.
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I have three papas, and I’ve been seeing all of them for at least three to four years.
One of them lives overseas, so we don’t get to see each other very often. We message about once a week, and when he comes to Japan, we’ll go out for dinner, visit his condo, or stay at a hotel.
The other two papas live in Japan, and we’re in touch every day. I see them at least once or twice a week, though we often just go out for dinner rather than staying at a hotel every time.
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I’m currently single.
In the past, my longest arrangement lasted two and a half years, meeting once a week, and my shortest lasted three months, meeting twice a month.
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You joined the club at 60, yet you’re in your 50s?
I’m currently seeing six women, each once to three times a month. Three others are taking a break, and two are actively pursuing me, but I’m too busy to give them any attention.
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