https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/13852

I stay with him because I like him. Because I like him, I think I can have an adult relationship (intimate) with him. You can’t see what’s in someone’s heart, so I don’t think you should say that to someone who’s overly focused on money. It feels like an invisible black haze would spread all around them.

My papas never say things like “I like you” or “I love you” at all… Every now and then, I’ll jokingly tease them, saying things like, “Come on, say it more often~,” but they brush it off with comments like, “I’m showing you through my actions,” or “Saying you like someone out loud is just superficial kindness.” I think, from their perspective, they expect me to understand from the way they support me, including financially. Personally, I think that kind of man is more attractive. And just as you suspect: > If a man twice my age told me he liked me, I feel like I’d find it creepy. Exactly. So I think it’s more than enough for them to show their feelings through their actions.

To add to my previous answer: This only applies to women I’ve been seeing for a certain length of time, but I do tell them things like “I like you” or “I really like you,” and they say the same to me. However, at this point, I only say “I love you” to my wife. I’ve been told it by women I was seeing, though they may have been joking. Perhaps someone I continue seeing in the future may become that kind of person, but I don’t think I’d say it casually myself. Another important point for me is putting my financial resources behind my feelings—showing them through my actions. Words alone have no meaning, in my opinion, and they won’t fill your stomach or make you look better. If you love someone or like them, I believe making an effort, turning that effort into money, and giving it back to them is important in showing love or affection. I imagine most people already understand this as a matter of course, but since this is a Q&A forum and it’s an important point, I wanted to emphasize it. > Mr. Makeotoko My dating style is still the same as what you described when I asked about it before. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten too serious and ended things with someone, but since I don’t know how the other person took it, I realized it’s difficult to say what actually happened. Also, outside of dating clubs, there have been cases where the other person started getting too serious and things almost became difficult. But I usually end things or create some distance before it gets to that point, so perhaps I haven’t had many experiences like that—or maybe they simply don’t like me all that much.

> I wanted to express my feelings without making her uncomfortable. I’m a little concerned that you haven’t explained how you plan to do that. A slight misstep in how you phrase things could ruin the relationship, so I think you should be careful.

I say “I like you” whenever I feel like I do. And if they think I’m creepy, I politely say “I like you.” If they reluctantly say it back, I say “I like you.” If things get awkward, I say “I like you.” Even if they give me a “Huh?” look, I say “I like you.” If they tell me they hate me, I say “I like you.” If they ask, “What time is it?” I say “I like you.” Even if they say, “I’m leaving!” I say “I like you.” Even if they hit me, I say “I like you.” And if I suddenly find myself alone in my room, I still say “I like you.” I imagined ten different ways to say “I like you” lol. No, seriously—I’ve realized this is how I’m supposed to be!

I think if you can more or less predict how the other person feels, you can decide whether or not to say it. If you tell a girl in a transactional relationship that you like her, she may find it creepy. But if you mean you like her quite a lot as a papa (a male supporter), I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying so. Personally, I’d be happy if someone showed affection toward me—even if he wasn’t my all-time favorite papa who appears here so often. I think I naturally adjust my behavior according to how much the other person likes me: being a little clingy and affectionate, simply making eye contact, or cuddling afterward. Maybe I’m a genius because I do it without consciously thinking about it (lol). By the way, cheesy lines during the intimate part turn me off, so please don’t get in the way by saying anything weird. Marika

Showing affection is important, but so are your everyday actions. The way you speak, your overall demeanor, how you treat the people around you, and even the way you walk down the street— I think the woman you’re with takes in a lot of information from all of that. After spending just five minutes together, she’s probably already deciding whether you seem trustworthy or whether she should be cautious. I think what you’re thinking and feeling comes across in subtle, seemingly insignificant moments. It already shows in how you act the moment you meet, the conversation and how you ease the tension, the way you walk together, how you enter the restaurant, and how you place your order. That said, you should probably take age into consideration when putting things into words. Early, you’re still young, and you probably don’t have as much of an age gap as a papa would… But the person asking is also still young, being in their 40s, and you’re at the peak of your career and romantic life—you’re in your prime and popular with the opposite sex. From our perspective, you’re in an incredibly fulfilling period of life, one we can only envy, where you can enjoy yourself to the fullest. I think this is the time to create your best memories. Whether that’s through a club or outside one (if anything, I think outside the club is better, since clubs may screen you out based on age).

Generally speaking, it’s probably best not to say things like “I like you” or “I love you” to someone you met through a dating club. That said, there are several girls among my monthly partners who repeatedly tell me “I love you” during intimacy, even though neither of us probably considers us particularly close. The women tell me “I love you” too, but that’s basically entertainment to liven things up. Neither of us actually loves the other, lol. That said, there’s no doubt that we do like each other. It’s closer to liking someone as a person, rather than being attracted to them romantically. As an aside, I’ve met quite a few girls outside Universe who later became papa-katsu partners. What really stands out is that they’re much more likely than Universe’s PJ girls to be genuinely delighted when I tell them “I really love you” in our everyday conversations. Also, I hardly ever take it seriously when a woman tells me she loves me. I calmly translate it as: “I love you because you give me a generous allowance.” Arii-san gives me the impression of enjoying a “half-genuine crush”—taking things one step further than papa-katsu. So he expresses his affection very directly. And since he’s young and handsome to begin with, I’m sure far more women are pleased to hear him say “I love you” than would be pleased to hear it from someone like me. What I find incredibly strange, though, is that I never hear stories about women developing serious feelings for him and causing trouble. Maybe he just doesn’t mention them. If anything, I get a stronger impression that Arii-san is the one who catches real feelings and gets rejected. Then again, I can’t help wondering whether that’s also just a technique to become more likable as an answerer. P.S. > Also, what’s important to me is investing financial resources together—showing it through your actions. Thank you, Arii-san. Whenever I write something similar, people immediately start throwing stones and spears at me, so I really appreciate you saying it. Money earned through hard work is incredibly important, isn’t it? As business owners, we live with the fear that we might suddenly be unable to earn anything tomorrow, so we probably feel the value of money more deeply than most. That’s precisely why I also believe that showing a woman, through your actions, that you’re willing to spend the money that’s so precious to you is part of the papa way. Still, what explains this huge difference in likability? lol And I’d really like to meet the PJ girl who rejected Arii-san. I feel like she probably dreamed of a future with him, realized it could never happen, and chose to walk away. P.S. Just a moment ago, I got a message from a monthly partner I’ve been seeing for a year: “Do you love me?” The timing made it sound almost like she was trying to get me to say yes. As an experiment, I replied, “Of course I do.” She immediately responded, “I’m asking whether you love me…” So I answered, “You know how I feel. I really love you.” Then she started getting angry, saying, “That’s not what I mean!!” There are girls like this at Universe too. That said, we shouldn’t misread the situation: I think this girl “loves” me because of our physical compatibility and the allowance I give her. Without the allowance, she probably wouldn’t even like me.

I haven’t explicitly told her that I like her. Personally, I feel that saying “I like you” out loud can make it sound fake or cheap. I believe affection is conveyed through your everyday actions. I only tell her she’s beautiful when I genuinely think she is. I also feel that calling an independent woman “cute” can be disrespectful, so I only say it when I truly think she’s cute. Because I don’t say these things all the time, I think she understands that I really mean them when I do. Adding this after reading Marika’s answer: > By the way, fake-sounding lines during intimate moments turn me off, so please don’t say anything weird and ruin the mood. I get it. Lies and exaggeration are a major turnoff for me too.