Tips
Aug 6, 2022 22:50
11 answers
👨 Male
Universe member
I’ve never even had a fight with my wife, but the age gap between me and the woman I’m seeing is so large, and our circumstances are so different, that we don’t really get into arguments in the first place.
When I sense one coming, I usually say, “First, sit down!” (lol)
🏅 プロおぢ。ほんとはプロパパと名乗りたいけど名乗るほどの実力がない名古屋の汚っさんです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Hmm, Taro’s answer is once again so perfect that I have nothing to say.
I do occasionally argue with the girls I’ve been seeing for a long time. More precisely, it feels like arguing actually brings us closer.
Since this is an allowance-based relationship, it’s undeniable that the papa ultimately has the upper hand, no matter how humbly he approaches things. Especially when the papa, like me, gives a relatively high allowance, the balance of power naturally shifts even more toward him.
From a woman’s perspective, getting into an argument despite the risk of being cut off means either that something has really been weighing on her, or that she’s simply become too comfortable and picks a fight on impulse.
Either way, I’m happy when they express their true feelings to me. Well, I get angry while we’re arguing, of course, but then the allowance crosses my mind and I think:
“Breaking up over this would be the height of cowardice. I’d be a complete scumbag.”
So even when things become strained because my ace has done something wrong, I forgive her.
As for how I forgive her, I reflect on myself and think, “She must have had things she usually couldn’t bring herself to say to me.”
My ace and I have promised each other that we’ll keep having honest arguments from now on. And I try to assume that, as the older one, I’m always the one at fault.
Arguments can become good memories.
Just the other day, my ace and I were looking back on past arguments and laughing about them together.
And I always make sure to say:
“Thank you for arguing with me.”
Other
By “fighting,” you mean arguing, right? Surely you didn’t actually get into a physical fight, did you?? (lol)
If you’re close, the occasional argument is normal. When both people are serious about each other, they’re bound to clash sometimes. But if you’ve clearly defined the relationship as purely financial, you probably won’t clash. Neither is necessarily better; people want different things. Personally, I prefer the former, though the stability of the latter isn’t bad either.
I feel like you can usually tell what kind of relationship it is by how the other person acts during an argument. Arguments tend to bring out childish behavior, but if the other person gets just as childish and the back-and-forth continues for several rounds, that’s a sign you’re actually close. In my experience, you’ll usually reconcile.
Who should back down depends on the situation and the relationship. Some people won’t give in first because of their small pride, but are secretly waiting for you to contact them. So pay close attention to the other person and use your judgment. Tactics like romantic push-and-pull are important, but strategy—understanding your opponent and yourself—is just as important.
Incidentally, I once got into a huge argument with a Type B woman before we were even dating. About six months later, she contacted me when she was really in trouble, and we ended up seeing each other for quite a long time afterward. I realized what was happening while we were arguing on LINE and laid the groundwork in advance, so that turned out to be the right move.
That said, if it turns into an actual physical fight, I think it’s probably over. I’ve been hit once myself (I didn’t hit her back, lol), and apparently that woman had caused trouble elsewhere too. Later, she was getting ripped apart on some forum like Host Love.
Also, “verbal argument” sounds perfectly normal, but I realized that calling it “oral fighting” suddenly makes it sound incredibly lewd. Hope that helps.
Taro
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
Not really any arguments. I’m curious what caused the fight.
I’ve been in the club for five years now, and I’ve never had an argument.
On the other hand, if you can get that emotional, maybe you’ll be able to understand each other better once you make up. If you can’t understand each other, then you’ll have to part ways, so it’s a double-edged sword, though...
Other
Embarrassingly, the first girl I had a long-term relationship with—outside of a club—was someone I got into arguments with a few times.
We always made up, and each time, we actually grew closer. Of course, it was an allowance-based relationship, but I think we were fairly close to being boyfriend and girlfriend.
With the girl I’m seeing recently, we haven’t had any arguments where we both lose our tempers. Maybe I’ve matured a little, or perhaps she’s simply more mature.
Other
I’ve sometimes had a feeling that I’d upset my papa (a male supporter), but I don’t think he’s ever shown it outwardly—let alone gotten angry with me.
Even when I did upset him, he was completely back to normal when we met again the next day. I thought, “What an incredible person—could he be a god?” (lol)
It depends on what caused the argument, but I think it’s best to make up without being unnecessarily stubborn.
Other
I rarely argue with my papas, but there have been times when I upset one because I was immature. In one case, I kept stepping on a papa’s landmines, eventually making him angry, and then I couldn’t reach him for a while…
I deeply reflected on it, accepted that I was 100% at fault, and sincerely apologized. Since then, I’ve tried my best not to make the same mistake again. Precisely because I respect my papa, I realized I needed to think more about how he feels.
That said, if a papa apologizes, there’s a risk that he’ll be looked down on or taken advantage of.
A 50-something man apologizing to someone 20 or 30 years younger already looks rather pathetic. And if he’s also a low-paying, pay-per-meeting papa, a bad woman might think, “He’s such an idiot, groveling to me when he’s only a low-paying papa”…
Hopefully, the person your question is about isn’t that kind of person.
Other
We never seem to argue.
I’m really curious what you two argue about. What could you even argue over?! I guess you must have a relationship more like boyfriend and girlfriend, huh?!
Other
You’re the older one, right?
Why did you two fight? It takes two to tango.
The woman may be partly at fault, but I’m sure you have your share of blame too—though what do I know…
If you keep being stubborn, it’ll be goodbye.
Whether you continue is up to you. If you love the person you’re with, then you already know what to do, right?
Go make it up to her before you regret it.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Um, in papa-katsu?
A papa (a male supporter) in his 50s?
He might get angry or think you’re picking a fight, but… why would he think it’s an actual argument too?
That’s not normal at all…
Well, I have heard of pay-per-meeting papas offering 50,000 yen getting into arguments, but apparently they make up pretty quickly…
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
We’ve never had an argument. I honestly don’t understand what there is to argue about.