I can't seem to maintain relationships with people.
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I end up wanting to cut them off.
Even after becoming friends with someone, I start noticing their flaws, or just before things begin to get more serious, I delete them from LINE.
I can find potential friends relatively easily, so that may also have something to do with it.
But I want to stop doing this.
Even when I think about why I want to cut people off, I can't figure out the reason.
I feel this way toward both men and women.
Does anyone else feel the same?
I don’t go as far as wanting to cut people off, but I do realize that I’m not very good at building relationships either.
I can’t open up to friends or coworkers on my own, so it usually takes someone really making an effort to get close to me before I finally open up… As a result, my circle is pretty small, haha.
Let’s both do our best!
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I get it—there may be more and more people like that.
I understand, but it’s not that I relate to that mindset. I just understand that there are a lot of people like that.
Personally, if I’m going to cut someone off, I’d rather not get involved with them in the first place. Honestly, ending things is really painful for me. But if someone is used to both ending relationships and being dumped, it makes things a little easier for me too. Like, “Oh, so that’s an option,” lol.
Still, it’s annoying when people like that come toward you, right? It doesn’t feel good.
I totally understand that too. So my conclusion is that, since it’s pointless otherwise, it’s better to figure it out early and end the relationship.
“Cold,” huh? Of course it’s cold. I’m prioritizing looking out for myself too, lol. We’re even, lol.
Continuing a relationship where neither side ever truly lets go is exhausting, but you can also discover a whole new level of despair that way, lol. Everyone’s busy dealing with their own lives, lol.
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Why do you feel like cutting people off?
Maybe it’s because you don’t want others to know the real you, you’re easily influenced by people, or you don’t want to let ideas or feelings that differ from your own into your thinking.
Even if you’re not consciously aware of it, I think some kind of limiter may be kicking in unconsciously. Does any of this sound familiar?
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As you get older, you naturally have fewer opportunities to meet people, and it becomes harder to make friends you can casually spend time with privately.
Knowing that, it’s entirely up to you if you want to cut people off so easily.
Then again, you may think you’re cutting people off when, in reality, people are cutting you off.
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I’m basically always on my own.
I used to be surrounded by friends, having fun and goofing around every day. We’d even hang out at Saizeriya without really doing anything.
I’m trying different things to make friends again, but I feel lonely.
I think my reasons are probably the complete opposite of yours, though…
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Isn’t there really any problem with that?
I prefer being on my own, so I’ve never once wanted to make new friends.
I’m not looking to develop a deep relationship with a woman either, so papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), where I can give an allowance, suits me.
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It’s because you lack confidence in yourself. That insecurity comes from…
There isn’t a single person in this world with no good qualities at all. I think you simply haven’t reached the point in the relationship where you can recognize the other person’s strengths and value yet—and perhaps you don’t have the capacity to see them either…
As Mac wrote, it might be a good idea to make a reverse offer to people like Mac or me. If someone makes me a reverse offer, I’ll accept it as long as they’re not extremely far away. (Lately, I’ve started thinking that after ten years, I might only accept reverse offers, like Mac does… Though I’m sure Mac doesn’t only accept reverse offers.)
Hmm… Are you someone with no experience in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)?
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