Tips
Jul 23, 2022 08:32
9 answers
Other
It’s great if they’re someone who makes even the journey exciting.
Even so, deep down, you’d still want your travel expenses and compensation for the time you’re tied up, right?
If you’re both really into each other and want to meet, I think it’ll continue.
As a woman, if someone comes all that way to see me, I’ll make sure we have the best time and treat them well.
Someone once flew in for my birthday, even though they could only stay for an hour, bringing a present, lots of souvenirs, and even an allowance they’d secretly prepared for me…
So naturally, I make them my top priority when planning my schedule.
Akari
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
> I’m thinking of deciding whether to continue seeing him based on the transportation costs and allowance.
If you’ve already reached a conclusion, I don’t really understand why you’re asking, “I’d appreciate everyone’s opinions, regardless of gender.”
I also don’t understand why the allowance—not just the transportation costs—is being treated as a factor in the decision.
If you didn’t want to see him in the first place, why have you been seeing him?
If this were someone you were meeting for the first time, I could understand using those things as criteria. But if you’ve already met several times, that seems strange.
Incidentally, whether it’s a papa who takes three hours round trip to see you, two hours round trip, or one who lives within walking distance, I think it’s perfectly normal to decide whether to continue seeing him based on the transportation costs and allowance.
👨 Male
Universe member
Well, that’s something to look forward to, haha.
What kind of person will he be?
How much allowance and transportation money will he offer?
Are allowance and transportation costs what you use to decide whether to date someone?
Reading your question, I feel you might want to reconsider your criteria for dating. What would you do if an older guy who takes three years to become handsome showed up? Haha.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
If you get 3,000 yen for transportation, you can just work out the rest as usual.
Four hours is a bit far, but not ridiculously far either.
Still, since he’s going out of his way to come see you, I feel like whether he gives you a little extra transportation money is really important—especially going forward...
A～Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月１程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m usually the one who spends four hours round trip traveling to meet someone.
A woman from Osaka whom I’d met several times once offered to come all the way to Nagoya to see me, but I declined.
I just felt bad making her go that far.
That said, if I decide she isn’t worth spending four hours round trip for, I’ll say goodbye right away…
For the person asking, allowance and travel expenses are important too, of course, but shouldn’t the first thing to consider be whether this man is worth spending four hours round trip to meet?
Other
Even in a regular job, you’re paid travel expenses and a business-trip allowance.
So why not discuss a transportation reimbursement and allowance amount that you’d be comfortable with? ( ˙꒳˙ )??
If you agree to an amount you’re not really happy with and end up compromising, you’ll probably start thinking, “Ugh, four hours round trip… I really don’t feel like going.” (´・ω・｀)
Other
If you’re both happy with the terms, I think there’s no reason not to continue seeing each other.
I also see someone who lives far away, but since we usually meet when work takes me to her area, the terms don’t really change. Occasionally, though, I ask her to come here, and in those cases I give her the usual allowance plus something to cover transportation and her time and effort.
My memory is a little hazy, but I believe I saw a similar question somewhere: unless the actual transportation costs are agreed on in advance, you might only receive the club’s standard ¥5,000–¥10,000.
Other
You should do what feels right for you.
If you genuinely feel, “I want to spend four hours traveling just to see him,” then keep seeing him. But if you feel it’s not worth going that far, then I think your only option is to end things.
If you really want to continue, you could always ask him to come to you instead. There are ways to work it out!
🏅 プロおぢ。ほんとはプロパパと名乗りたいけど名乗るほどの実力がない名古屋の汚っさんです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
For reference, this is how I handle it:
Nagoya ↔ Osaka: Green Car fare +1
Nagoya ↔ Tokyo: Green Car fare +2
Nagoya ↔ Hiroshima: Green Car fare +2
Nagoya ↔ Fukuoka: Green Car fare +3
I’ll cover the Green Car fare, but I don’t mind if she comes by a regular train seat or bus—that’s her own effort to make things work.
I also actively encourage her to schedule dates with other papas on the same day and collect travel expenses twice.
Of course, when I go to meet her, none of the above extra amounts apply.