My regular papa (monthly arrangement) keeps insisting that we go on a trip together.
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Honestly, traveling isn’t something I’m considering at all in this kind of relationship. Having my papa beside me all day—and even when I’m sleeping and waking up—would honestly be too much. I wouldn’t be able to keep smiling or stay sane.
I always turn him down gently and indirectly, but he’s been so persistent lately that I’m not sure what to do.
I might consider it if I received about 100,000 yen on top of my monthly allowance, but it’s hard to bring up money with someone I have a monthly arrangement with. It would be nice if he brought up the money himself, though....
Ladies, what do you do in situations like this?
I feel bad saying this to my papa, but being tied up for such a long time is really tough.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
If it’s your boyfriend or a friend, are you okay sharing a room with them?
From the way you describe it, you sound like someone who can’t be around anyone for very long.
If that’s the case, maybe you should just be upfront and say things like, “I can’t spend long periods of time with anyone,” or “I can’t sleep in the same space as someone else.”
If you’re trying to act like a sweet, agreeable girl so you won’t lose your monthly arrangements, then I think you’ll just have to keep up the act, even if the smile is fake.
Personally, I’d like to travel if our schedules work out. In fact, next month I’m going on a hot-springs trip with two people who will be meeting each other for the first time.
I’m looking forward to it.
Marika
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That sounds amazing—I’d love to travel too! I’m so jealous ☆｡.:*･゜(人´∀`*)
With this kind of thing, I think it’s important to set the tone from the start and turn them down clearly—so clearly that there’s no room for doubt.
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I don’t have a monthly papa (a male supporter), and I’ve never traveled with one either.
For starters, I don’t allow overnight stays, so traveling together isn’t an option.
With a monthly arrangement, it seems like it could get complicated every time you travel or go somewhere far—wondering whether you’d get an allowance on top of the regular amount, how often you’re expected to meet, and so on.
You feel that traveling isn’t worth it for the amount you receive monthly, right? You could either clearly say that traveling would be difficult, or end the monthly arrangement.
Personally, I do admire monthly arrangements, though! I’m sure they have both advantages and disadvantages. If you’re receiving a substantial, fixed amount every month, I think there are probably some things you have to put up with to a certain extent.
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If you’re okay with things ending at worst, you could try continuing to turn him down with some vague excuse. If you’re a high priority to that papa (a male supporter), I think the relationship will continue. If you’re low on his list—or if he currently feels that your allowance isn’t worth it unless you agree to travel with him—then the relationship will probably just end.
Whether it’s work or personal relationships, I don’t think there’s any quick way to handle things successfully in the short term. You need to build things up over time and make an effort to improve the relationship—or at least put yourself in a more advantageous position.
I don’t think truly equal relationships are very common.
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Who cares—just break up already.
Women are supposed to be the ones to suggest trips, and you don’t have to travel with someone whose allowance you’re worried about. In the first place, you don’t have to date someone you don’t want to spend a long time with.
If you’re already having good sex normally, there’s no need to get intimate on a trip too. The question is whether you can actually enjoy the trip.
A trip whose purpose is sex sounds unpleasant, doesn’t it—even if that’s what ends up happening…
Rather than worrying about whether you’ll get an allowance for an adult relationship (intimate), date someone who can make sure you have fun wherever you go, including while traveling—and who you can trust to meet your allowance expectations without you even having to ask.
Maybe the man is putting his last bit of hope in this trip because you’re boring… It’s probably time to break up.
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Am I understanding your question correctly—that you’d be willing to go on a trip if the allowance were good, but you’re not sure how to ask your papa because it feels awkward?
I haven’t traveled with my monthly-arrangement papa yet, so I’m not sure how helpful this will be, but I would start by asking what he has in mind: “Where would you like to go, and how many nights were you thinking?”
With a monthly arrangement, he may not be planning to offer any additional allowance for the trip, especially since he’ll already be covering the travel expenses for two people.
If the subject of an allowance doesn’t come up and you don’t want to go, there are plenty of ways to turn him down without hurting his feelings, such as saying, “It’s difficult for me to take time off work,” “Because of my position at work, it would be a problem if I traveled far away and caught COVID,” “My parents are strict, so traveling is difficult,” or “I can’t sleep well in unfamiliar surroundings, so I’m not comfortable staying overnight with just anyone.”
That said, I think it’s important not to forget that he regularly supports you on a monthly basis and treats you well. Rather than focusing on the immediate money you might receive for the trip, I think it would be better to consider how you can continue your relationship with your papa even if you’re unable to accept his invitation.
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To be frank, I think it depends on how much you’re receiving.
For example, if it’s a monthly arrangement paying around ¥100,000 a month, you probably don’t need to go on trips with him.
But if it’s several hundred thousand yen, or more than twice what you earn from your job—in other words, if you genuinely feel like, “Wow, I’m being paid quite a lot”—then you should probably go on trips. If you refuse, there’s a greater risk he’ll feel that you’re not worth what he’s paying.
I’ve always gone on trips with my monthly supporters. Actually, I only enter a monthly arrangement with someone I’m close enough to travel with.
If you absolutely don’t want to go, one excuse could be, “I have a dog to take care of, and I don’t trust pet hotels.” But repeatedly turning him down like that is pretty difficult.
Another option is to become strong enough that your papa doesn’t even ask you to go on trips. You’re being invited because your position is somewhat weak—or rather, because he sees you as an equal.
If you become more like a queen, with a dominant or sadistic side—someone he’d be afraid to upset by making unreasonable demands—you can train an M-type papa to do whatever you say. But I’ve only managed to pull that off once. Normally, I don’t think it’s worth trying.
So I don’t think there’s any way to turn him down with zero risk.
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Men reading this: don’t invite a woman on a trip if she seems reluctant.
For a woman who actually wants to go, I’d say about twice the usual pay-per-meeting allowance, maybe—depending on how long the trip is.
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I absolutely never go on trips unless I’m invited, because I can easily imagine the kind of stress the person asking about is talking about.
I’ve also gone on a two-night trip after being invited by a Type A monthly partner.
She already understood from my behavior up to that point that I wasn’t going to make a move, so she suggested that we share a room. But I wanted to work at night, so I came up with some excuse and had us stay in separate rooms.
Even with a monthly partner who has an adult relationship (intimate), I don’t do anything intimate during trips. And as you said, the time commitment is insanely long, so I still give them the adult allowance even if there’s no intimacy. That includes trips I was invited on.
If you spend your money properly and enjoy yourselves, your monthly partners will grow attached to you. It’s a win-win.
To answer a little more in depth—though maybe this is still pretty shallow? lol—a papa (a male supporter) will usually watch and see how things develop.
In my case, I’m currently letting one Type B girl prove herself. She gets 10 pay-per-meeting right now, which is the lowest allowance among my monthly partners, so it’s nothing special. But she has the potential to make me think she might be worth raising to 15 or more per meeting.
If, in response to her current allowance of 10, she starts giving me something worth more than 10 without me saying anything, I’m thinking I’ll try raising it to 15 per meeting around autumn.
Then, after raising it to 15, if we become even closer, I’ll switch to a monthly arrangement of 50 and meet her two or three times a month.
That’s how allowances go up. So what I’m saying is, it depends on your skill, doesn’t it?
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