What can I say to make a man who’s self-conscious about our age gap feel good?
This content is machine-translated.
“I’m 20 years older than you—I could practically be your father. (^_^;)
Is it really okay for me to date someone this much younger? (-_-;)
There’s a man who says things like this.
I do think it’s humble and sweet, but since this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I also find myself wondering whether he joined a dating club because he wanted an adult relationship (intimate) with a younger woman...?
If I honestly said, “You wouldn’t want to date someone your own age—like a 44-year-old—would you?” would that bring him back to reality?
What would be the best way to respond in situations like this?
Usually, I say:
“I’ve never really cared about age differences. You’re handsome and kind, and I always have such a good time talking with you that the time just flies by!”
To be honest, I can feel the age gap in the things we talk about, but I genuinely enjoy being with him, so I’m not lying.
Even though papa-katsu may be an underground world, I feel that for it to continue long-term, it eventually becomes a relationship between two people.
So if everything is a lie, the other person will sense that it’s just a transactional relationship.
Is what’s expected in papa-katsu to mix in some genuine feelings, be considerate of the man, and tell him the answer he wants to hear?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I think it’s fine just the way it is.
If it were me, I’d emphasize that it’s him specifically that you like—something like, “I don’t mind the age gap at all. In fact, I like you because you’re older.”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Caring about the other person is important in everyday life, not just in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). You don’t show consideration simply because he’s a papa (a male supporter).
You think about the feelings of your family and friends, right? In the same way, please show genuine care and consideration for the papa who’s seeing you.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m 36 myself, so I’ve never been in that kind of situation with a papa (a male supporter)—if anything, the age gap with my exes was bigger.
Maybe your papa wants you to say, “That’s not true! You’re young, and you’re so much fun to be around that the age difference doesn’t even matter!” Or perhaps he genuinely feels that you don’t seem to be enjoying yourself.
But if you and your papa are truly compatible, the age difference probably wouldn’t bother either of you. Rather than trying to mix in your true feelings strategically, wouldn’t it naturally become a relationship where you simply enjoy being together?
Instead of feeling each other out while talking, I think being honest leads to a better relationship.
That said, it sounds like you’re doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) just fine, so maybe you should simply keep things as they are?!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
> What should I say to a man who’s worried about our age difference to make him happy?
I think it’s best not to bring up the age difference.
> Is papa-katsu about being considerate of the man while sharing your true feelings, and telling him what he wants to hear?
I don’t think so.
To me, dating means being considerate of the other person, avoiding things they would dislike—or being careful about how you phrase them—and still expressing your true feelings.
There are women who seem to say things just because they think I’ll be pleased to hear them. But when someone gives me clumsy, insincere-sounding compliments, I find it off-putting, so personally, I don’t meet them again.
That said, since the man himself brought up the age difference, perhaps he’s the kind of person who wants you to lie to him.
By the way, the question itself doesn’t really have a consistent point. Maybe you forced it into question form?
Personally, I think this is right on the borderline of what should or shouldn’t be displayed.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
