I’m really struggling and would appreciate some advice.
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I went on a date with a man my age who is considered an elite. After having drinks at a bar (I had a nonalcoholic drink), we went to a hotel. But I don’t have sex, so nothing happened, and it was morning when the man left, saying he had to go to work. He said it was because I was sleeping.
After that, he stopped replying to my LINE messages.
He told me I was cute, and even said we should date, although he was probably joking.
I’ve started overeating because of the stress.
I’m drinking a high-calorie juice even now.
Based on the above, did I do something to hurt him?
Was it a mistake to tell him a little about how I’ve been struggling mentally?
Could that be the reason after all?
> But I don’t have sex as a rule.
Whether that’s genuinely your stance or just a way of turning someone down, the other person can’t know. Since they have no way of knowing, it’s natural for them to assume it’s just an excuse.
So it seems perfectly normal that they stopped replying.
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It’s either because you went to a hotel without having sex, or because you didn’t have sex despite going to a hotel.
Is that really something to worry about?
Marika
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From the man’s perspective:
If you went to a hotel but didn’t have sex, he probably assumed you weren’t interested.
It’s a shame, especially since he was such a catch.
If you want to win over a highly sought-after elite man with plenty of competition, you have to go to the hotel prepared to have sex from the start. Otherwise, he’ll probably choose another woman who is willing to.
Sex isn’t everything, but it’s the ultimate form of validation. I feel that my partner is accepting me when we have sex.
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Why did you go to the hotel in the first place?
Did you mean, “We’re not dating, so even if we go to a hotel, nothing will happen”…?
You’re both adults in your twenties, so perhaps he assumed you knew what you were getting into when you went to the hotel.
If you like him, why not just tell him you do? You could say, “I like you, and that’s precisely why I wouldn’t have an intimate relationship without properly dating you.”
You really shouldn’t be bottling up stress and drinking high-calorie juice over this.
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