I thanked my papa (a male supporter) for buying me accessories and clothes, but he said, “You can return the favor with affection when you stay over.”
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We haven’t had an adult relationship (intimate) yet, but he also implied that there wouldn’t be any allowance for it.
I want to confirm the terms with him. Is it okay to ask him directly, or would it be better to bring it up indirectly?
Hmm, I’m still pretty new to this, but maybe you’re someone who prefers giving presents because handing over money as an allowance feels too transactional? ( ⁎･ᴗ･⁎ )
I was really happy to receive some salted chocolate the other day ₍ᐢ⑅•ᴗ•⑅ᐢ₎♡
Mac, you’re amazing! Let’s give that a try♪♪
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“Return it with love.”
“Be of service to me.”
If a papa (a male supporter) said things like that, I’d be put off. It sounds like he’s misunderstood the relationship to some extent.
If it makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t agree to an adult relationship—he’ll probably get angry. But if you’re thinking, “Well, whatever,” then I suppose it’s up to you.
—Akari
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It’s better not to ask.
That man is a papa (a male supporter) who doesn’t give cash.
Convert the gifts you received into their cash value. If it’s enough, go ahead; if not, drop him.
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I bought some accessories and clothes with my papa’s money and thanked him, but he told me, “You can repay me for these gifts with affection when you stay over.”
☆You should assume that when a man buys you presents, he probably has some other motive in mind. Some men naturally expect you to repay them with an adult relationship.
I haven’t entered into an adult relationship with him yet, but he also said that no allowance would be paid for an adult relationship.
☆But he bought you presents, didn’t he?
☆I think you’re being naïve. If a man buys you something, I think it’s only natural that you repay him with an adult relationship. After all, it’s a dating club.
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Let’s break up already.
She seems to be the kind of man who completely fails to understand a woman’s feeling of, “Why do I have to have an adult relationship just because it’s a special occasion?”—when what she really wants is to be celebrated.
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Generally, people would say you should confirm beforehand, but if it were me, I wouldn’t ask. Some men lose interest just from being asked, and I get the feeling that this papa (a male supporter) is that kind of person.
If you don’t want a papa (a male supporter) who gets adult relationship (intimate) time for free while only taking you shopping, your options are to avoid adult relationship (intimate) altogether or reduce how often it happens as much as possible.
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Based on what you’ve written, he unfortunately sounds like a disappointing papa. If you expect to receive a proper allowance for an adult relationship (intimate), then—obviously—let him buy you whatever he’s willing to buy, ask him directly, and if he isn’t willing to pay the allowance for an adult relationship, say goodbye.
Someone who’s happy to shop for you but doesn’t want to pay an allowance for an adult relationship may simply be looking to enjoy the feeling of having a girlfriend.
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This is a dating club, so you can simply ask them directly. Based on their answer, you can decide for yourself how you want to proceed with the arrangement.
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Just because he said, “You can repay me with affection when you stay over,” I don’t think you have to take that to mean he’s asking for an adult relationship right away.
I’m sure that’s what he has in mind, but I think he means that someday, once you’ve developed a relationship that feels more like dating—even without money involved—you might naturally become intimate.
I don’t think it’s really his intention for you to feel that you owe him something just because he bought you things.
I think he’s imagining that, after receiving more gifts and being treated kindly over time, you’ll eventually start thinking, “Maybe I could be with this person even without the money,” and then the two of you will begin an adult relationship.
So if you feel you’re not there yet, I don’t think you need to think about an adult relationship at this point.
Since he said, “Repay me with affection when you stay over,” you could say something like:
“At this stage, I feel like I need an allowance rather than affection, so you’ll have to make me really serious about you first.”
I think that would be perfectly fine.
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