Would men choose as a spouse a beautiful, young woman (18–23) who has nothing, or a woman aged 25 or older with a certain level of education and the ability to support herself (such as a licensed professional)?
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I’m sorry if this sounds unpleasant, but I’ve been told that if I want to marry someone with good terms, I should start looking for a partner as soon as possible. According to the people around me, it becomes difficult once you’re over 25…
Personally, I feel that if I don’t have any appeal myself, good men won’t be interested in me even if I start looking now. Or do men simply prefer young women no matter what? lol
I’m sorry this isn’t a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) question, but the kind of man I want to marry is someone at least about eight years older than me, financially comfortable, and mature. That’s simply my personal preference. lol I’m currently 22. Thank you.
The two choices are so extreme that it’s hard to choose either one.
If it’s just about sex, younger women are preferable. But if you’re talking about a life partner—meaning marriage—you’ll be spending a long time together, so you can’t choose someone just because she’s young. On the other hand, if she’s too self-sufficient and overly proud, that could be difficult too.
Personally, I wanted to—and did—marry someone who has qualities I can respect as a person, is considerate, and shares similar values.
If Fuu were a woman, I’d imagine that men with good terms have a lot of competition, and if they already have money or status, their lifestyle may be too flashy and difficult to live with. So I can’t help thinking it might be happier to find a man who isn’t quite there yet but has potential, marry him, and support him as he grows.
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I think it’s perfectly fine to take your time and think carefully about marriage!
From the other person’s perspective, having good terms—being able to support yourself is important, of course, but so is having a charming, warm personality(´；ω；｀)
Naturally, you need to be able to say, “I’m sorry. Let’s make up,” after a fight.
When both people are highly educated, arguments can turn into a battle of logic where each person tries to prove the other wrong. That’s why having enough warmth and charm to know when to back down a little is important, I think!
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Regarding the question at the beginning, I can’t answer in my case because I currently have a partner and don’t fit into any of the listed categories.
As for whether men exclusively prefer younger women when it comes to marriage—and regarding the kind of man you want to marry—I’ll answer based on the assumption that by “having the means,” you mean being financially comfortable.
I don’t necessarily consider an annual income of ¥10 million to mean someone is financially comfortable, but using it as an easy benchmark, I looked it up online. Among your target demographic, apparently only 0.15% of single men aged 30–34 and 0.2% of single men aged 35–39 earn ¥10 million or more annually.
First of all, I don’t think these men are necessarily seeking youth above all else. If that were their only priority, they probably would have gotten married long ago.
Also, while there are exceptions, among the financially well-off men around me who are still unmarried by their thirties, many tend to have very specific demands of women or noticeable quirks in their personalities.
To sum up, youth alone isn’t the deciding factor in marriage.
Your target demographic is also highly competitive, so competing on youth alone will probably be quite difficult.
That said, meeting a large number of people could lead to a miraculous match and eventually marriage. And if you’re looking to get in early and find someone who may grow into an outstanding partner, starting婚活 while you’re young could be effective, especially when you consider the time you have available.
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If two women are exactly the same in every way, the younger one will be more popular.
If you already know what you want, go straight to a marriage agency. If you’re young, you’ll probably get around 100 applications, so date the best one among them.
The men at marriage agencies are socially awkward guys who can’t find a partner on their own. At first, they may not read the atmosphere and might seem suspicious or awkward. Don’t give up on them right away—help them grow into decent partners.
If you want a 30-year-old man with great qualities who knows how to escort you from the very beginning, you’ll have to compete with 100 other women in the open dating market.
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I can’t believe some people in this day and age still say that women over 25 have a hard time getting married. Are we living in a timeline where the average life expectancy is 45?
If that were true, then the younger you are, the better your chances of getting married. What a novel way of thinking—so novel that even Koji Imada, who reportedly has nearly 40 strict requirements for a marriage partner, such as “at least 163 cm tall,” “28 or younger,” and “Japanese, half-Japanese, or Russian,” would be surprised.
Anyway, to sum it up: most men don’t think “the younger, the better.” I actually think it’s rather disrespectful to view men that way.
So don’t worry—just keep working on both your appearance and your inner self.
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It varies from person to person, but if those are the only two options, I’d choose the latter. Youth has no particular value to me.
Men who place value on youth also know that everyone eventually turns 25. In other words, even for men who value youth, age is unlikely to be the deciding factor when it comes to marriage.
One more thought: Men who want children may be concerned about the age of 35, when pregnancy is considered advanced maternal age. So I think a woman’s age is most likely to influence a man’s decision about marriage around 35.
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I think getting married when you’re young is, to some extent, a matter of momentum.
Being young, well-educated, or financially independent doesn’t have as much to do with it as people think.
The older you get, the more you tend to overthink things, and often you never make it as far as marriage.
On the other hand, people you meet through a marriage agency may not be willing to marry just anyone, but it often seems like they’re compromising quite a bit on their usual standards.
Personally, I think that if you want to marry for love, it’s best to do so when you’re young…
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