I’ve been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for about a year, but the papas (male supporters) I’ve seen have all asked me to go without a condom, and I’m at a loss. Before starting an arrangement, I always ask them to use condoms to prevent pregnancy and protect against infections, and get their agreement. However, most of them end up making excuses like, “I lose my erection if I put one on,” “I can’t finish,” “I’ll pull out,” or “It feels too good inside,” and take the condom off partway through. Quite often, they even put it in without one despite my objections. After this kept happening, I had a Mirena inserted. But I’m still scared because it doesn’t protect against sexually transmitted infections. At the same time, I’m worried because there’s no guarantee I’ll find new papas right away if I end things with my current ones. I’m afraid that if I tell the club, it will get back to them and they’ll cut ties with me. Honestly, like the people answering here, I want to meet a papa who will use a condom and practice safe sex all the way through. Is there anything I can do to prevent them from taking the condom off partway through? Also, especially for the male respondents: when deciding whether to make a new offer, what matters to you about a woman’s appearance and personality? I’m sure all the women at the club feel the same, but I’d love to receive an offer from a wonderful papa!

The condom issue also comes up fairly often, but my attitude is basically: if both people discuss it and agree, they can do as they please. As for diseases, if neither person currently has any illness and they’re seeing only each other, there’s a 100% chance they won’t catch anything. The risk becomes higher when people are seeing multiple partners. Regarding pregnancy, if you avoid sex altogether on risky days and don’t finish inside on other days, pregnancy is extremely unlikely. The dangerous people are those who date multiple partners and freely finish inside them. Of course, even without finishing inside, there’s still a risk of disease from kissing or oral sex. That’s why I don’t continue seeing women who date multiple men, and I won’t enter into an adult relationship (intimate) with them either.

I make a new offer when my relationship with my current partner ends, or when someone more attractive than her joins. Looks are important, but personality matters even more. I’m searching fairly carefully, and the women I’ve added to my favorites are my next candidates. I’ll consider reaching out when someone more attractive than my current partner appears, or when one of my favorites sends me a “nice” reaction.

> I’m afraid he might cut ties with me. Sorry, but I really don’t understand that. Are you really afraid of losing even a man like that? End things with him sooner rather than later, work on improving your profile, go in for a new photo shoot, and build a good relationship with the staff. If the staff can see that you’re genuinely motivated, you may become one of their “favorite female members,” which I think will increase your chances of getting offers. It’s me

That’s truly heartbreaking. I’ve mentioned this several times, but men in dating clubs are generally very indifferent to the risk of women contracting STIs. For one thing, many of them come from a generation that received little sex education and grew up when the average age at first marriage was around 26. A lot of them have only ever had unprotected sex with their wives since getting married, so there are quite a few stupid old men (excuse my language) who take it for granted that they can have unprotected sex with women other than their wives, too. They don’t know much about STIs either, so some of them go around spreading viruses, thinking that there’s no need to get tested if they have no symptoms, or that they can’t be sick if they don’t feel sick. The less-bad option might be to limit yourself to one person you’d feel comfortable having unprotected sex with. Get as much allowance from him as possible, and make sure you get tested regularly. If you say you’re having regular gynecological checkups for a uterine condition, I don’t think he’d find the testing suspicious. But honestly, I’m starting to feel like the only thing I can think of for people who have unprotected sex with you is to trick them into taking chlamydia medication bought through personal importation every time, right there on the spot, by saying, “This gives you more energy♡” It’s the kind where taking one pill is enough to cure it completely. If they won’t care about your health, maybe the only option is to force them to take medication.

I don’t think sexually transmitted infections are all that common, but with multiple partners, you should be aware that there is a possibility of contracting one. Since dating clubs generally involve multiple partners, you need to be especially careful. There are even questions in this anonymous Q&A box from people asking, “I contracted an STI. What should I do?” Some infections, such as HIV, herpes, and syphilis, are serious illnesses you absolutely want to avoid, so I think it’s best to explain this patiently. Regarding new offers: In my case, I had assumed I would consider a new offer once my current relationship ended. However, after actually starting the relationship, it has continued for what seems like forever. I’m in my 60s and basically an old man, so considering all the things that happened before we started dating, I expected her to turn me down pretty quickly. But now that we’ve been seeing each other for about four years, I feel we’ve grown even closer. Since my previous offer four years ago, I’ve decided not to choose for myself. Instead, I explain to the staff member who interviews me the kind of person I’m looking for—her appearance and someone who will genuinely engage with me—and have them select someone from among the members. The reason is that my own judgment is completely unreliable when it comes to things like: - Having my offers rejected - Suspecting someone of lying about their relationship type （笑）

If you want to prevent someone from removing the condom during sex, the only real precaution is not to get involved with someone who would do that. I’d like to say that personality is what determines whether I accept an offer, but you can’t tell what someone is really like from their profile. So I base my expectations on what I read in the club’s comments.