Tips
Mar 18, 2022 11:32
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I’m a female member in my late twenties. Since I’m at an age when people start asking, my papas often ask me if I’m planning to get married. I tell them that I don’t have a boyfriend, but that I’d like to get married if I meet the right person. In reality, I do have a boyfriend, but I’m not particularly interested in getting married.
(I’d feel foolish having children, doing housework, and caring for my partner’s parents for the sake of a man who cheats.)
Also, in papa-katsu, I’m advised not to tell them and to let them keep dreaming that I don’t have a boyfriend, even if I do.
From a man’s perspective, is a woman who seems cute and marriage-minded, yet is somehow unable to get married—the “poor thing”—the kind of woman who satisfies his sexual desires the most?
6 answers
Other
“Are you being advised?” Who exactly is giving you advice?
I don’t think being unable to get married makes someone “pitiful,” though.
Maybe men specifically seek women who are single and don’t have boyfriends because, faced with the fact that she has sex with her boyfriend for free while he has to pay an allowance to be intimate with her, they’re crushed by their own misery.
Just a thought, though.
Other
> Would a cute woman who wants to get married but can’t—the poor thing—be the type who gets her sexual needs met the most?
That’s not entirely wrong.
For some papas, the ideal woman is someone who wants to get married but becomes hooked on having an affair with him, never makes troublesome demands like “Leave your wife and marry me!”, always works around his schedule, enjoys sex, and doesn’t have a boyfriend.
In short, she’s a convenient woman. But since women may also be looking for a convenient man, I suppose it cuts both ways.
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
A question that keeps coming up in the Q&A box is that many of the male respondents are fine with it even if she has a boyfriend.
As I’ve written in past answers and columns, Fuu is not just okay with it—I actually feel more secure having a boyfriend and other papas, ideally a generous main papa.
You could say that women who are good at keeping up a lie and acting can simply say they don’t have a boyfriend. But personally, I think people who aren’t good at lying would be better off dating a papa who’s okay with them having a boyfriend, for the sake of their mental well-being.
It also seems like a good way to prevent the other person from developing serious feelings in the first place.
Other
There are all kinds of people, so I don’t think you can lump everyone together. Personally, I don’t care whether someone has a boyfriend or not, and some girls do have boyfriends.
Some want to get married, while others don’t.
Since I’m no saint myself, I’m not here to judge.
🏅 プロおぢ。ほんとはプロパパと名乗りたいけど名乗るほどの実力がない名古屋の汚っさんです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I like women who already have a boyfriend and want to get married the most. There’s something appealing about it in an NTR kind of way, and if things end because she gets married, it’s almost a happy occasion—neither side is likely to get hurt as much.
Women who have a boyfriend but don’t want to get married aren’t bad either.
I don’t avoid women who are single and don’t want to get married, but I do find myself thinking, “I hope she gets a boyfriend.” My top three are women who are single and want to get married.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I think you should ask the person who gave you that advice.
It may simply be that the kind of man they had in mind is someone like that.
Personally, I do feel that married men could be troublesome if their spouse got involved and caused problems, but I don’t have any particular views about boyfriends or wanting to get married.
As an aside, people have such different perspectives on papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) that a mass-marketing approach targeting a broadly imagined “typical” participant probably won’t work very well.