I’m a long-time male member with three years on Universe.

I fit all of these descriptions: I have little desire for material things, my social media accounts are private and I barely post, I’m surprisingly serious, I’m always anxious, and I’m prone to self-loathing. But I’ve never had a wealthy boyfriend… just ordinary guys. Thankfully, though, I’ve had several generous (well-paying) papas, so I think there must be a certain number of men who like women with a bit of darkness to them. Of course, I’m sure most people would find that off-putting or intimidating. Women like this are generally negative by nature. They’re overly serious, so they tend to try too hard at everything—relationships, work, and so on—and easily end up exhausted. They also put a lot of effort into papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and they approach sex seriously, which can make them quite sensual and appreciated by men. However, perhaps because they’re so quiet and reserved, they’re easy targets for aggression and may be prone to bullying or workplace harassment. Many of them have some kind of trauma in their past. So, to help ease their anxiety, I think it’s best to aim to be a papa who gives a generous allowance and makes her feel relaxed when you’re together. What makes someone feel relaxed varies from person to person, so luck plays a big part too. But a cheerful papa is ideal—you can feel more positive just by being around him. I hope you’re able to build a deep relationship with her.

Trying to keep a woman tied down is incredibly presumptuous. Men who engage in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) should recognize that, ethically speaking, they’re among the worst kinds of people.

Isn’t it simply that the women you like tend to be that type? The fact that you’re wondering how to interact with her or keep her from drifting away makes me feel that things probably won’t work out very well. As Mac said, I think the important thing is to respect the distance she’s comfortable with. Marika

As a member going into my sixth year, I feel like the whole idea of “keeping her tied to you” is a little off. From your question, it sounds like she’s merely doing her best to keep you around, so be careful not to come across as condescending.

To begin with, I think it’s fine for us to be just a temporary stopover.