Have you ever seen a sugar partner’s boyfriend? How would you feel if he were handsome and completely different from you? My boyfriend is 185 cm tall, has a small face, and is incredibly handsome. He’s a little rough-around-the-edges—the type who looks like he could be in LDH. I often show my papa (a male supporter) his photos and end up bragging about him. My papa looks like Winnie the Pooh and is unattractive.
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This papa is the kind of man who says it’s fine for me to see multiple people and even gives me relationship advice. But his appearance is completely different from my boyfriend’s. By the way, I have never complimented my papa’s looks even once. Knowing that he clearly isn’t the type of man his sugar partner is attracted to, how does a papa feel about still being involved with her? Do you ever think, “I’m probably just her source of money”?
From my perspective, I really only see my papa as a man I meet infrequently who gives me a substantial allowance.
I’m Fuu, a columnist.
I’ve been shown a papa’s photo before, too. He was handsome, with a solid, muscular build. But he said his package was smaller than mine (lol).
Since I’m enjoying an adult relationship with someone who’s exactly my type, I don’t really care what my boyfriend looks like.
You should be grateful to that Pooh Bear papa. It could be much harder if he were:
- the possessive type who insisted you only see him, or
- so handsome and stylish that he outshone your boyfriend.
When you think about balancing your boyfriend, your papa, and a continuing arrangement, isn’t a Pooh Bear papa like him actually ideal? He may be just right for you.
If he were a perceptive, high-spec papa, he might see through your true intentions.
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I’m Joe.
I’ve not only seen them—I’ve actually met them too. Both of them, haha. I was a little surprised that, despite her being extremely forward, her boyfriend was a fresh-faced, gentle, good-looking guy. He was a really nice guy, though lol.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer too.
I think most people consider it perfectly normal for someone to have a papa (a male supporter) in addition to their boyfriend. So even if her boyfriend is handsome, they’d probably just say:
“Oh, he’s good-looking.”
And leave it at that.
I don’t understand why you think they would compare themselves to him.
To begin with, I don’t think many people want to compete with someone’s boyfriend. A papa who genuinely wants to fall in love with you might be different, but in that case, he probably wouldn’t be giving you money.
It would be strange to try to compete with her boyfriend while being the only one giving her money, wouldn’t it?
How you view her is irrelevant. However, if those feelings start showing in your attitude, you’ll probably decide not to see her anymore.
So if your arrangement is continuing, I assume you’re making sure you can satisfy her when you meet.
And I think that’s fine—but have you entered a dark phase and felt like writing about it here?
By the way, I think it’s better not to dwell on things like that too much.
If you keep thinking along those lines, you might start wondering whether her boyfriend also has other women and sees you as merely a convenient partner he can be intimate with for free.
Once you start thinking that way, I feel like your thoughts will just head in increasingly strange directions.
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I’m Nana Ayase ☆
When you’re dating, both people get to choose each other.
With papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it’s mostly the papa (a male supporter) who chooses you…
It’s a lot like job hunting, isn’t it?
Showing your boyfriend’s photo is kind of like showing your boss your side job…
Some companies don’t allow side jobs, so if you get carried away and show them the photo, they may get furious—or even fire you. Please be careful.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I’ve seen photos of the men some of the women I’m seeing are dating. I don’t have a problem with seeing multiple people either, so when I see a photo of another guy, I’ll say things like, “He’s pretty handsome,” and we’ll have a lively conversation about him.
Sometimes I think I’m probably just money to her. But that’s a fact, haha, so it doesn’t bother me. If it did, I’d simply stop seeing her.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
That’s a pretty common—and good—question, haha.
Based on your question, I think your relationship works because there’s something that attracts you to each other.
In any relationship, it’s important that both people find something appealing in the other person, and I think that mutual attraction is what makes each of you special to the other.
Your papa (a male supporter) cherishes you because you’ll come to see him when he pays you, while you cherish him because he can provide you with a substantial amount of money.
I hope you continue to have a good relationship.
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Bragging about your boyfriend is fine and all, but you really need to stop getting so full of yourself when you call the person giving you a substantial amount of money in exchange for your young body “ugly” or compare him to your boyfriend.
Maybe you get a sense of superiority from asking, “What do you think?” I’m not sure, but all you’re doing is accepting money from several middle-aged and older men in exchange for your company.
A woman who has even the slightest lack of gratitude or respect is, in the end, on that level.
—Akari
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I’m a lost 60-something.
I’m following along.
I wouldn’t particularly call him handsome, but he seems kind, which I find rather heartwarming.
I suppose I also fall into the “seems kind” category（笑）
By the way, she has since left the site, but she was Type A, so we never had an adult relationship. I’ve continued supporting her in ways she calls “unique” for about three years now. Given what that support involves, I’m definitely not just an ATM（汗）
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I’m Dai, a male member.
If the papa is satisfied with that, I think the relationship will continue.
You may see him as nothing more than an ATM, but from the papa’s perspective, you’re ultimately just a young woman he can have an adult relationship (intimate) with.
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