Is it better to stick with one papa (monthly arrangement) or see multiple papas (pay-per-meeting)?
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I’m struggling with this in several ways.
STIs and COVID have been spreading among my papa-katsu friends, so I’m starting to feel like it might be better to stick with just one person.
But relying on only one person seems too risky, no matter how nice he is…
Are any of you exclusively seeing one papa?
I’m Meg, a female member.
I only have one papa (a male supporter). However, we don’t have a monthly arrangement.
He’s a papa I truly adore, so I put my heart into our daily conversations. That’s what has brought us to where we are today.
Sometimes I miss him so much that I end up crying, but he tells me I’m still okay just the way I am, even though I’m such a crybaby.
Everyone’s different, so I can’t say whether having just one papa would be beneficial for you.
But for me, he’s someone I want to spend even one moment longer with.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) before COVID, so I initially met quite a lot of people. However, since I was a Type B, I never had adult relationships (intimate) with five people at the same time or anything like that, and I’ve never contracted an illness. I was probably lucky, but I also made sure to take proper precautions.
If you want to minimize the risks, it seems best to limit yourself to two or three people. Papa-katsu isn’t worth it if it takes such a toll on your mental health because you get sick.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I’ve been the one-partner type ever since joining the dating club, and it actually works quite well for me. I started doing this to protect my privacy and prevent STIs.
Once you’re actually dating someone, you may find yourself thinking, “I’d like to date other women too,” but in my case, I prioritize peace of mind and safety, so I think I’m fine continuing this way.
With dating clubs, men need the mental strength to resist pursuing other women, while women need the emotional strength to deal with the anxiety of the arrangement ending, along with a little financial leeway.
I’m an old man over 60, and there’s a 40-plus-year age gap between us, but once the relationship begins, it surprisingly tends to last. I thought she might turn me down pretty quickly, but it’s been going strong for three long years now.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
Relying on just one person can be risky.
That said, seeing only one person may make things emotionally easier in some ways.
As for STIs, even if you have multiple partners, say three specific people you feel you can trust, I think the risk may actually be lower than dating one man who sleeps around.
I think the real problem is seeing a large number of unspecified people.
If you’re seeing two or three people you genuinely feel good about, I don’t think the risk increases all that much.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
With just one person, I think the arrangement can become unstable.
If the allowance is merely an extra and you’re not dependent on it, then I think that can work too…
But when you’re seeing five or more people, it becomes difficult to keep track of your schedule and what you’ve talked about with each person. The risk of STIs also increases.
I think seeing around two or three people is probably the most manageable and comfortable.
That said, it depends on each person’s circumstances.
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I’m Paper Plane, a male member.
If you’re already hesitating, isn’t it impossible to narrow it down to just one person? More importantly, the kind of ideal supporter you’re looking for may well steer clear of you.
I believe that both men and women only meet people who are right for them.
For now, try not to overthink or get ahead of yourself with expectations, and just be yourself.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Meeting one papa doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in a monthly arrangement.
Which option is more beneficial really depends on the person asking. It can vary based on things like how much allowance you need each month, whether you’d be okay with a month without any allowance, what aspects of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) you find stressful, and your preferred style.
I’m not exclusive with just one person, but I don’t make offers very often these days because I’d hate to pick up an STI here and there and pass it on to someone I’m dating. Even when I do make an offer, unless I feel I really want to sleep with her after the first date, I usually just have dinner and part ways without pursuing an adult relationship (intimate).
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