I’m a male member. When a woman says, “Put it in sooner rather than spending time on foreplay,” do you think she means she just wants to get it over with and leave as soon as possible? I comply when I’m asked, but it leaves me feeling empty. Since she’s essentially declaring herself to be nothing more than a masturbatory aid, I imagine she must feel even emptier. Thank you.

I’m Fuu, a column writer. If she enjoys it once you’re inside, there’s a chance she actually likes penetration. But if she just lies there passively even after you’re inside, then you may be right in your assumption. For me, if the sex isn’t good, I don’t continue seeing someone. I’ll give it a few tries, but if we’re not compatible, I move on to someone else. I think that way, both people are happier.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. It must have been something pretty serious—not just that the foreplay went on too long and felt pointless, but that she may have genuinely disliked it… perhaps even being around him…

This is Nana Ayase. I’m sorry, but could it be the questioner’s bad breath? Maybe she doesn’t like being licked all over by someone with bad breath. When penetration happens suddenly, are you sufficiently wet? Even women usually become wet when they’re feeling aroused. If she isn’t wet, she may just be thinking about getting him to finish and ending things.

I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a male member. Speaking personally, I sometimes get intimate in private with women who work in the adult-entertainment industry, and when I do, we’re able to enjoy it very passionately. I think the reason you’re being led to finish things as quickly as possible is that there’s no atmosphere. Your partner is probably approaching you in “work mode.” When a man and a woman are alone together and the mood becomes sensual, it’s natural to want to give in to your feelings. You need to create that sensual atmosphere before even entering the hotel. First of all, you need to look at yourself. Have you become just an “old guy”? To women, an “old guy” isn’t a sexual prospect. Are you presenting yourself as a properly masculine man? Is your hairstyle and appearance the kind that makes a woman think, “I want him to hold me”? Do your nose hair, ear hair, and beard give a clean, well-groomed impression? Does your scent make her heart beat faster? Does the way you dress convey the seriousness women are looking for? Start by confirming whether you’re actually someone women see as a sexual prospect. Next, consider the conversation and how things flow. Do you look like you’re desperate to get to the main event? Sex begins with conversation. Start by easing the tension in her mind while acknowledging her daily efforts: “How have you been lately? You’ve been working hard. It must be tough. You’re doing a great job.” Then, create a man-and-woman atmosphere. If you’re assuming your partner is into being submissive, gradually establishing a dominant-submissive dynamic and giving her instructions may be what creates that sensual mood. When there’s an assumption of “let’s just get it over with,” as there often is in adult entertainment, things inevitably become mechanical. For both people to take detours along the way, it requires a certain amount of effort. I hope you’re able to enjoy a satisfying sex life.

I’m Marika. I wrote a long answer to that earlier question from the woman in her early twenties, but it disappeared before I could submit it. I probably won’t be able to write it all again, so people may think I only rush to answer the sexy questions. That sounds like an excuse, doesn’t it? Anyway, isn’t it simply that going further feels better than foreplay? I’m not sure whether taking things further is especially enjoyable or whether the foreplay just isn’t very good, though. She doesn’t seem to dislike intimacy, either, so I think it would be fine to communicate a little more and ask her how she feels about it. She may even have specific requests, like telling you exactly how she’d like you to do things. Try to enjoy it without being too pessimistic. Marika Oh, Kazu beat me to it.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Some women may want to get things over with quickly, but I’m sure there are also women who simply enjoy penetration. So it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re just trying to finish as quickly as possible. Whatever the reason, I’m not particularly interested in penetration, so I don’t think we’d be a good match. I wouldn’t want to meet again with someone whose preferences don’t align with mine.