I’m a new member in my 30s.
Of course, I think it’s important to be mindful of what the date involves, but the most common feedback I’ve heard from the women I’ve met is: “The courses have too much food, and being tied up for that long is exhausting,” and “Even though I listed the foods I don’t like, for some reason they booked a French or Italian course that included them.”
When the arrangement is within the usual allowance range, especially early on when you’ve only just started seeing each other, I think the allowance tends to be the main consideration. So it’s probably preferable to keep the time commitment relatively short and choose a good restaurant where you can order à la carte.
On the other hand, among women who prefer dinner only (no intimacy), there are probably also those who don’t mind a somewhat longer date and want ¥10,000–¥20,000 including a second stop.
When the allowance is within the usual range, rather than the man unilaterally deciding the date plan, wouldn’t it be better to discuss it and decide together with the woman?
With a considerable level of trust—or if the allowance is especially generous—the man may be able to have his preferred date plan accommodated.
I’m Saito, the column writer ♪
Thank you for requesting me by name.
I saw your message after the holiday weekend, and it made me a little happy.
For an ordinary date, I generally spend around ¥500,000–¥1,000,000 per occasion.
If anything, I spend more on the meal itself than on the allowance.
When I’m dining with someone famous, I’ll reserve the entire counter.
(I avoid private rooms unless there are several people, because they feel like being locked in a prison—and I honestly don’t understand the point of having a private room at a sushi restaurant.)
Some restaurants are thoughtful enough to protect your privacy by keeping other customers from being seated. In those cases, I sometimes adjust the price through the wine to reflect the consideration they’re showing for our privacy.
https://universe-club.jp/column/+Dinnerheld
If she’s a student, setting aside the taste, something visually recognizable like Mouton is better. If she understands wine, it’s easier to order something more complex. Flight attendants, for example, can easily drink about three bottles, so they’re reassuring to have along.
With expensive wine, don’t forget to leave about a quarter of the bottle and let the staff enjoy it. With something like Romanée-Conti, it’s more fun if everyone drinks it together.
(At one restaurant, I treated everyone to Romanée-Conti, only for someone else to end up paying the entire bill. It was an embarrassing experience. I ran into that person again later at another place, and it turned into a wonderful connection.)
As for dates, I think the most fun I ever had was when, together with U.S.T., we worked our way enthusiastically around Disneyland at night, when it was quiet about two hours before closing.
Recently, the women I meet have been becoming famous, and nothing feels fun anymore. It’s started to feel more like we’re simply comrades working hard together.
To sum it up, a dating club is a place where men inevitably have the upper hand, and where women often make the man look good. That also makes it easy for your ego and your true attitude to come out.
Be honest, embarrass yourself plenty, accept it, and use the experience as an opportunity for personal growth.
P.S.
You said you joined six months ago, so please feel free to keep using the dating club until you get tired of it.
Human beings are designed to get bored of everything.
(I think the reason people don’t get bored is that they’re constantly restraining or adjusting themselves, which creates the stress of having to endure things.)
I’m Basil, a male member.
I usually spend around 40,000–60,000 yen on allowance and transportation, 2,000–5,000 yen on meals, 5,000–50,000 yen on hotels, and anywhere from nothing to 60,000 yen on other expenses. The amount varies depending on my mood at the time.
I rarely stay overnight, so a top-class love hotel is more than enough. Depending on the time and location, though, I sometimes use a four-star hotel. On rainy days, we might have a meal at the hotel and then go straight to the room.
Hotel rates fluctuate from day to day, so when prices are high, I make adjustments accordingly—such as choosing a lower room category, changing the date, or using a love hotel instead.
The basic pattern is an adult relationship (intimate) with a meal before or afterward. When I’m short on time, I let my partner know in advance and we skip the meal. Surprisingly, I think many people aren’t particularly concerned about dining.
With a favorite partner who shares my hobbies, I occasionally go to concerts or the theater together.
