I’ve been seeing a woman for five months now, but she still speaks to me politely.
This content is machine-translated.
She occasionally slips into casual speech, but since we only meet about once a month, it feels like we go back to square one every time we see each other.
I don’t have any particular complaints, but I would like to feel a little closer to her. How can I get her to speak to me more casually? We’re only nine years apart, so it’s not that big of an age gap.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
Men and women may think differently.
If a woman doesn’t want her papa to develop serious feelings for her and wants to keep a certain distance, it probably isn’t fair to make all kinds of demands of her.
Even though we’re the ones providing the allowance, I don’t think an arrangement will last unless we at least understand and respect the kind of relationship she wants.
Speaking casually doesn’t necessarily mean you’re close. Observe her carefully, and if it doesn’t feel right, don’t pressure her.
If you prefer a woman who speaks casually with you, make a new offer and look for someone who’s comfortable doing that from the start and wants a closer relationship.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I don’t think you need to worry about it.
I always spoke to someone using polite language, but we were close enough to go swinging together.
It may also be a sign that she respects you.
I once asked her, “Why don’t we drop the formalities? You can call me by my name without honorifics.” But she replied, “I can’t do that right away” (lol).
Everyone has their own sense of distance, so just let things develop naturally!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
The woman I’ve been seeing has spoken to me formally from day one—and she still does.
We always address each other by our last names with “-san,” so it’s always felt more like a boss-and-subordinate relationship.
I think part of it is that we both understand our respective positions and haven’t tried to get too close.
Next spring, I’ll be ending our relationship through the dating club after nearly eight years, but since we’ll still be seeing each other afterward, I don’t think that boss-and-subordinate dynamic will change.
The issue is the allowance!
She’s started hinting that she’d like to receive at least a little allowance even for dinner-only dates, so I’m wondering what to do.
I’m still thinking it over!
At this rate, it’ll go from an adult relationship (intimate) to dinner only (no intimacy), and there’ll be no real difference from seeing each other through the dating club. (Sigh)
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
My top-tier monthly partner, whom I call “Ace,” spoke to me formally for nearly three years. She’s been speaking casually for about the past three years, though.
There are actually quite a few girls who stick with polite language. When someone like that occasionally switches to speaking casually, it can make you completely smitten—so the ones who stay formal are precious too.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I don’t think that’s something you need to worry about.
Speaking casually doesn’t necessarily mean you’re closer.
If you’re really that fixated on it, why not make it a game: reduce the allowance when they use polite language, and increase it when they speak casually?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I don’t think you need to worry about whether to use casual or polite speech.
I think it’s best for each person to speak in whatever way feels natural and easy for them.
Some women speak casually from the very first day, while others switch to casual speech after meeting a few times. Some do it fairly quickly. On the other hand, there are women who continue speaking politely even after meeting hundreds of times. I think it’s fine to use the way you’re accustomed to speaking in everyday life.
As long as the conversation flows smoothly, I don’t think people really pay much attention to whether the other person is speaking politely or casually—or even notice it clearly.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
