I have a question about how things usually progress at a hotel.
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I’ve only met this person a few times. We usually have a fun chat while waiting for the bath to fill, without much physical affection, and then go straight from the bath to the bed. I find it difficult and nerve-racking to shift into a more intimate mood.
Have there been things a woman has done that made you happy in this kind of situation, or do you have any tips for creating the right atmosphere?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
The process of getting to the hotel may seem routine once you’re used to it, but I think the hardest part is actually shifting the mood.
I’m the type who gets shy and can’t do anything in front of someone I really like. But when approaching it as papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I try to focus on easing into that switch naturally, without forcing it.
When it comes to creating a more sensual atmosphere, it’s less about what you do and more about how you change the mood. Often, even one small action can make the transition feel natural.
For example, before or after a bath, simply adding a gentle comment like, “It’s a little chilly. Can I come closer?” or “You seem more relaxed than before” can change the atmosphere.
Lightly resting your hand on his arm, gently tugging at his sleeve, or saying, “Could you turn this way?” while guiding his face are also very natural ways to initiate subtle physical contact.
The way you use eye contact is important, too. Men often pick up on a change in atmosphere through your eyes more than through words, so try holding his gaze just a little longer and more slowly than usual. That alone can sometimes change the impression.
There’s no need to force yourself to act sexy. I think it’s enough to do what you normally do just a little more slowly and stand just a little closer. That often helps the other person naturally shift their mood as well.
If you’ve met each other several times, most people prefer a natural flow over anything overly staged. Try not to overthink it, and approach the situation with a relaxed mindset.
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Wouldn’t it be better to just relax and be yourself instead of overthinking it?
I think it really depends on the vibe between you two, so even if the woman makes the first move, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll be happy about it. He might feel that she seems a little too experienced.
If you were going to do something, perhaps the moment you enter the room, you could embrace each other, keep holding each other, and fall onto the bed together… then just let the mood take its course.
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I tend to sweat a lot, so I’m uncomfortable having a woman come too close before I’ve taken a shower. Would it be okay to take a bath together and ease into things that way?
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It’s nice not having to make that kind of atmosphere yourself as the man, lol.
I think it’s fine to just suddenly switch gears and get started.
From the woman’s side, you could:
- Hold his hand once you’re sitting next to him
- Look at him seductively
- Hug him and kiss him
But some papas might pull back if you come on too strong, so please read the situation.
What Fuu likes is when, while he’s touching her during foreplay, she gently strokes him down there—not hard, just softly. That really gets him excited.
He also gets excited when she’s on top and, caught up in the moment, leans down to kiss him.
He even got excited during 69 when she got really wet and it started dripping onto Fuu’s body.
Pretty niche.
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I think that’s simply his stance, so I don’t think you need to worry about things like “what women have done that made him happy” or tips for creating the right atmosphere.
At first, I thought the latter part of your question was about how you could deal with your own difficulty switching gears. But it seems to have shifted into asking what you should do for the man.
Because of that, I don’t think you need to give much thought to the latter part in particular. I feel that continuing things the way you have been is probably best.
As for the first part, even if it’s difficult to switch gears, it seems like you eventually do. So if you’re managing somehow, maybe you can just continue as you are.
That said, it might be worth telling him that you’d like to be more affectionate and get more into the mood.
And as Kazu suggested, it also seems like you could simply take the initiative and be more affectionate yourself.
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