I’m still a beginner—I haven’t even been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for a month yet—so I’d really appreciate some advice from those with more experience. When people here talk about the allowance for an adult relationship (intimate), does that usually include the time spent having dinner beforehand, or is it better to think of the adult relationship and dinner separately? I’d be grateful if anyone could share their advice.

Fuu is straightforward. At the end of the meal during the initial offer, we discuss the terms: How much the allowance will be, including transportation and the room (and of course, the meal as well). Since Fuu generally expects a second round, I only meet women who agree to that. If we reach an agreement, we go to the room. If not, I give her ¥10,000 for transportation and we part ways. Some women who prefer a transactional relationship, want to keep things short, or aren’t very good at talking also meet directly in a room without a meal and agree on terms such as how much it will be. Make sure to discuss everything thoroughly with your partner and only proceed once you’ve reached an agreement. By the way, some women clearly state things like how much they want for transportation, how much allowance they expect, and how much they charge for dinner only.

For a first date arranged through a club, you’re expected to follow the club’s rules and give the woman ¥10,000 as an allowance for transportation after the meal. That’s where the club’s involvement ends. After that, the two of you are free to date privately, so the allowance will naturally be divided into the amount for the meal and the amount for anything beyond that. As for dates from the second meeting onward, they fall under free-form dating and will generally include a meal. However, the allowance is usually higher than what you’d pay through a matching app. In other words, rather than setting separate amounts such as “this much for dinner” and “this much for a hotel,” the total is generally higher. The allowance is basically based on the woman’s requested amount. So if she wants ¥100,000 on a pay-per-meeting basis, it’s common for that ¥100,000 to include the meal as well. That said, if you make the date too long, she may not want to see you again, so it’s best to keep it within a reasonable amount of time. “Reasonable” varies from person to person, but generally, you can think of about two hours for the hotel and one to two hours for the meal. If the man wants to go somewhere other than a hotel, such as an aquarium or an art museum, it’s still safest to keep the date to around two hours. It’s also wise to prepare roughly the same allowance as you would for going to a hotel, taking into account that it isn’t a place the woman specifically requested. It’s a different matter if you’re reluctantly accompanying her to a place she wants to visit.

Relationships through a dating club involve money. In my case, if we agree from the start that it’s dinner only, then I think an allowance is necessary. On the other hand, if it develops into an adult relationship (intimate), the allowance is all-inclusive. Well, that’s only at the beginning of the relationship. Once things continue for a while, they all become pretty much the same. Basically, it won’t work unless both people feel they can continue seeing each other, and it ultimately depends on how much the woman needs it（笑）