My monthly-arrangement papa keeps persistently asking me to go on a trip with him.
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I’m a single mother with an eight-year-old child. He keeps saying things like, “Maybe we can go next year,” but I don’t feel comfortable leaving my child behind to go. I also can’t spend two nights together with him.
I’m starting to dislike him. I keep turning him down by saying I have my child to think about, but he acts like, “Surely you’ll be able to go next year,” and won’t let it go.
Turning him down is stressful. Do any of you go on trips with your papas? Do you receive extra allowance for it?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂30s👑Universe female member
Basically, you have no choice but to firmly say no.
That said, in my opinion, the questioner also bears some responsibility here. It’s hard for an older man (or grandfather) to imagine how difficult life can be for a single mother with an eight-year-old child. Of course, I’m one of those men myself.
Just imagine what might happen if you said to such an unimaginative papa, “It’d be nice if we could go next year.”
It doesn’t sound like your child is the only reason you don’t want to go on the trip, so all the more reason to clearly explain that you can’t—or don’t want to—go. Use your child as the reason. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, because it’s true. However, it would probably be better to keep the other reason to yourself.
In exchange, be more physically attentive than usual. If your papa still isn’t satisfied, try crying. Depending on how you do it, it can be extremely effective. Seriously!
By the way, these days, when I travel with women from Uchu Club, I’m very generous.
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Sometimes we go on trips together, including business trips, and stay together while traveling as well.
Just because it’s a trip, we don’t discuss the allowance. While we’re away, we can get so caught up in enjoying ourselves that the adult relationship becomes an afterthought. In those cases, the allowance may actually be lower rather than higher.
If both people are focused on getting an allowance and having an adult relationship, I don’t think a trip will be much fun.
But if the trip itself—or simply spending time together—is the goal, I think traveling together can be a good option. Even with little or no allowance, it can be enjoyable to go wherever you want.
When they’re traveling, women can relax and enjoy themselves without worrying as much about the people around them, so it makes for a great time. I think it also helps deepen the intimacy between you.
From the man’s perspective, if he’s taking her wherever she wants to go, he should be thinking, “We can do H anytime—we should enjoy ourselves so much that H isn’t even on our minds.” If that’s not how he feels, he probably shouldn’t go on the trip.
If you’re both having such a good time that H becomes an afterthought, women may actually be more moved by that—and the evening might end up becoming more exciting as a result.
Maybe it’s the opposite of what you’d expect psychologically...?
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I’m seeing a woman with children, and even finding time just to meet is incredibly difficult. Staying overnight would be virtually impossible and far too risky, so I definitely wouldn’t invite her on a trip.
Thinking about it now, there are very few women in a monthly arrangement whom I’d actually think, “Traveling together would be fun.”
If she treated me like a romantic partner, a trip could be enjoyable. But going on a trip with a papa-katsu woman while worrying about how people around us see us wouldn’t be much fun, would it?
As for the allowance, wouldn’t it be 25 in total for two nights and three days if it’s 5 per pay-per-meeting?
Two nights (two adult relationships): 5 × 2 = 10
Three days (daytime dates): 5 × 3 = 15
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>> Do you all go on trips?
→ I don’t. If the woman suggests it, I’ll consider it, but I never bring it up myself because things could end up like they did for you.
>> Do you receive an allowance on top of that?
→ I think it depends on the person. Since deciding how to handle the allowance can also become an issue, I don’t suggest trips myself—I wouldn’t want the woman to feel uneasy or dissatisfied about it.
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I always turn down trips.
I go somewhere on my own every month, so they often ask if they can come along, but I decline every time. I plan exciting itineraries centered around my hobbies, so having someone tag along would just be a hassle.
Some people also stay at my place—not as part of a trip—but I don’t give them any additional allowance for that. If I were the one asking them to stay over, I might pay extra, but that isn’t the case. And I don’t particularly want to listen to someone’s loud snoring, so I generally decline those offers too.
Hope this helps.
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I travel when the woman invites me. The allowance is always the same.
In most cases, these relationships work because they’re mutually convenient, so if your circumstances no longer align, I think it’s best to part ways.
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Men who genuinely want to travel will only make offers to women who don’t have children.
When I asked why, he said, “Women with children can’t go on trips, can they?”
He probably had a woman say something similar to him in the past.
I think this man may also decide from now on not to make offers to women with children.
> Do you all go on trips?
I think only a small number of men want to travel with a woman. There aren’t many, but they do exist, so in this case, it seems like the man’s feelings and the questioner’s feelings simply don’t align.
> It’s stressful having to turn him down.
I think you should just tell him, “If you invite me on a trip again, I’ll end things.”
The man wants to travel, while the woman doesn’t, so I don’t think things will work out even if they continue seeing each other.
> Would I receive extra allowance for that?
Some people pay extra and some don’t, so I think it depends on the other person’s views.
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