He asked me not to see any other men, so I’m currently seeing just one papa (a male supporter).
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I used to spend quite a lot on clothes, but now that I only have one papa, I’m thinking I need to cut back on my expenses.
I used to wear a different outfit for every date. Do you think it would be okay to wear something I’ve worn before once every two months? I’m worried he’ll think I’ve started slacking off.
I have one more question. One time, I wore something quite revealing, and he asked, “Do you dress like that for work, too?” Does that mean I came across as unintelligent? I’ve overthought it so much that I’m starting to lose sight of what kind of clothes men actually like.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Member of another dating club
I don’t think you need to limit yourself to just one, but why do you think he chose you simply because he said so?
Well, if you’re trying to keep your expenses down, I’d assume your allowance hasn’t increased, so continuing with the others should be fine too.
I wouldn’t mind even if we happened to wear the same outfit. I’m the one with questionable fashion sense, after all.
As for showing skin, I don’t automatically associate that with being unintelligent. Maybe he’s just an overly jealous, difficult person who wants you to dress more conservatively?
Hope that helps.
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Haha! If you overthink it, it just gets confusing, so whatever you’d wear to work is perfectly fine.
The most important thing is that you come to meet me with a positive attitude!
Also, I think it’s better not to date too many people at the same time. You probably have a regular job or part-time work as well, so I’d suggest enjoying papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) without letting it put a strain on your everyday life.
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Oh dear, what a waste.
You’re throwing away the potential to be better off by seeing multiple people.
There don’t seem to be many benefits to limiting yourself to one person. If you’re going to bring ideas about fidelity into it in the first place, you might as well date normally or get married instead of doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
As part of men’s instincts, programmed into their genes, men are supposedly wired to get bored with a woman’s body after about three years. (Wanting to pass on their superior genes to as many women as possible is instinctive, after all.) A man only wants to make a woman his at first, and he’ll eventually get bored. So I do think women should be shrewd and think ahead about what comes next.
The papa (a male supporter) and the person asking this question may be intoxicated by the idea that they’ve “limited themselves to one person,” as though it were some kind of virtue. But I feel like you can’t really go against instinct.
Still, everyone enjoys things in their own way, so I’m not criticizing you. I’m just speaking generally.
At the end of the day, papa-katsu is a relationship involving money.
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> Do you think it’s okay to wear an outfit I’ve worn before if I only wear it once every two months?
Ultimately, it depends on the individual, so I can’t say how the man you’re seeing will feel about it.
Generally speaking, I think most people would assume that someone who wears a different outfit every time simply cares about fashion. So even if the same clothes come around in rotation, I don’t think most people would find it particularly strange.
That said, if you used to wear a different outfit every time, and he happens to prefer women who are very particular about their clothes, he may be disappointed.
When you think about it that way, it raises the question: Why did you decide to focus on just one person?
If the outcome is:
Focused on one person → Could no longer afford to buy clothes → He didn’t like that kind of woman after all → The relationship ends
then choosing just one person could ultimately mean having no one left at all.
In that case, it may have been better not to narrow it down to just one person and to continue seeing multiple people.
Focusing on someone you have no worries or concerns about seems like a good choice. But if it only creates more anxiety, then that choice may well have been the wrong one.
> When I wore something quite revealing, he asked me, “Do you dress like that for work, too?”
Maybe he simply doesn’t like revealing clothing.
Taking the previous issue into account as well, he seems like a man who is particular about clothes, so I think you should consider what to do with that in mind.
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Ultimately, I think it depends on the man, but personally, I don’t mind if my partner wears the same clothes.
If that’s at least partly due to the man’s expectations, then I think it would be fine to include a shopping date and have him buy her some clothes.
For the first meeting, I’d personally recommend something safe, like the kind of dress the club suggests. From the second meeting onward, everyday clothes should be fine.
That is, unless her usual clothes are particularly revealing.
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If you’re down to just one papa and need to cut back on spending, then wearing the same clothes is because of that situation—not because you’re being careless.
Also, if you’re doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to buy clothes, then wearing a different outfit every time makes sense. But if that’s not the reason, showing up in a different outfit every time might make him wonder, “What are you doing papa-katsu for?”
As for wearing something revealing, perhaps it simply wasn’t to his taste, or it didn’t match his outfit—maybe he was dressed in work clothes after coming straight from the office.
If you want to know what kind of outfit your partner would like, just ask him directly.
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If you only go on a date once every two months, then wearing the same outfit once every two months means you’ll be wearing the same outfit every time.
Everyone sees things differently. I wouldn’t necessarily consider it lazy, but I would think, “This is the person who wears the same outfit every time.”
Also, are you planning to wear that same outfit every two months even as the seasons change? For example, if you showed up in August wearing the same clothes you wore six months earlier, I’d probably wonder whether you weren’t unbearably hot.
Even when you say “revealing clothes,” it’s unclear whether you mean something so revealing you might get arrested for public indecency, or simply a skirt above the knee or a sleeveless top.
Besides, I don’t like miniskirts, but some people do. There may be days when I’m in the mood and would enjoy a daring outfit, and other days when I wouldn’t want you dressed that way because we’re going somewhere it would be inappropriate.
To sum it up, there’s no single personality called “men,” and people have moods, while the world has something called TPO—time, place, and occasion.
I don’t think the questioner is overthinking it. If anything, you haven’t thought about it enough.
If you’re going to write fiction, make sure you develop the details properly.
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