About Long-Distance Dates

I usually meet about once a month, but I travel a long way every time. I’m busy with work at the moment, so it’s more like once every two months. Since I don’t want to meet locally, I wouldn’t expect the woman to come to me. Whenever I go out, I find something enjoyable to do in that area first. I think the reason you’re getting irritated is that you don’t have much emotional leeway right now. If you approach papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) feeling that way, it probably won’t go very smoothly.

If she’s getting that many offers in rural western Japan, she must be exceptionally attractive. A lot of women in the countryside don’t get any offers at all, so I’d say you’re pretty lucky. If offers from far away are a hassle, just remove “open to long-distance offers” from your profile and start declining them. Though, of course, you’ll get fewer offers. I doubt men would go out of their way to visit you. Why not look at it this way? You could go to Tokyo for a night, do some shopping, and enjoy yourself like you’re on a little trip—without having to pay for transportation. Or you could just see it as a hassle. Before COVID, Fuu traveled a lot for work, so I’d make offers to women in places like Hakata and Sapporo, meet them there, and have some fun memories. Apparently, women in rural areas get fewer offers, so they were happy about it. Somehow, the girls from the countryside also seemed less jaded—not as influenced by the city, and maybe a little fascinated by Tokyo—so I had a great time meeting them. Recently, I haven’t had any business trips to Hakata, and I don’t have enough time to go there just for that. I also don’t have enough money to invite someone to Tokyo. Then one woman told me she was coming to Tokyo for a concert as part of her fan activities and wanted to meet afterward. She came to my place drenched in sweat, carrying her fan and everything, then went straight back home on a night bus. Pretty cute, right? I found myself wondering what it must feel like to receive eye contact and intense fan service from her incredibly handsome idol, and then be held by Fuu afterward, haha. I’ll even wear a mask of her favorite idol when we do it, lol. If that actually gets her into it, it’d be a pretty fun role-play...

I used to spend five hours traveling to meet women from far away, but I’ve stopped doing that recently. I’ve never brought a woman in from far away just to arrange a meeting. Here’s a recent example. The first dinner was two hours for ¥50,000, and the adult relationship was ¥200,000, for a total of ¥250,000. I can accept ¥200,000 for the adult relationship, but ¥50,000 for a two-hour dinner felt rather expensive. Recently, I hardly ever meet women asking for ¥30,000 for the first dinner—¥20,000 has been more common—so ¥50,000 was a surprise. The highest amount I’d paid before was ¥40,000 for a two-hour first dinner, followed by an adult relationship on the second date for ¥200,000. In that case, I was the one who offered both amounts, so I had no issue with it. This time, though, the woman suggested the terms. I still see the woman who received ¥40,000 for dinner and ¥200,000 for the adult relationship, now without any allowance. She occasionally invites me over, and we sometimes have sex. To meet her for the first time, I traveled for over four hours, paid her an allowance of ¥40,000, had dinner only, and we parted ways after an hour and a half. Come to think of it, there was also one time I spent five hours traveling to meet someone and gave her ¥70,000 for dinner and transportation. She was Type B, but secretly Type A. I gave her ¥40,000 for dinner, and when she said she was taking a taxi home, I asked how far away she lived. It turned out to be surprisingly far, so I added ¥30,000 for the taxi. I don’t do anything that reckless anymore. These days, I pretty much limit myself to women I can meet locally.

It’s Andy. I think the thinking is probably: “I don’t want to waste time traveling far myself, but I like her enough that I’d gladly pay extra for her to come to me.” I only make offers to meet someone from far away when I already have work or another reason to be in that area. I’ve never invited someone to come to me, so this is just speculation on my part, though… Still, it’s impressive that you’re receiving so many offers from people who want you to come from far away. Take it positively, and focus on accepting offers nearby going forward. You might get the kind of activity you’re looking for if you ask the club staff to note that traveling far is not an option for you, but that you’d be happy to have them come to you. Hope this helps.

I understand how you feel, but men also may decide it isn’t worth spending that much time, depending on the person and the circumstances. If you’re receiving offers from far away, you must be reasonably attractive. But rather than saying they lack consideration, it may simply be that you’re not attractive enough to make the trip worthwhile. I could find plenty of women nearby, and I didn’t want to get involved in this kind of hassle, so I excluded long-distance arrangements.

> I don’t really understand why men don’t just make arrangements with women who live nearby. I think it may simply be that he found a woman more appealing than those nearby, but she happened to live far away. > What goes through the minds of men who make offers to women who live far away? It varies from person to person, but perhaps: ① If he travels to see her and she cancels at the last minute, his time is worth about ¥1 million per hour based on his income, so it would be a waste. If he asks the woman to come to him instead, the loss is smaller if she cancels. ② With Dating Type C, there’s a 50% chance of being turned down. Some men take advantage of the idea that a woman who has traveled a long way would probably want an allowance, considering the time spent traveling, rather than simply accepting transportation costs and going home. They aim to make the success rate 100%. ③ An extension of ②: men who plan to have the woman stay at a hotel from the very first meeting and be intimate several times, all for one allowance payment. ④ Other reasons. Something like that, perhaps? By the way, ③ violates the Universe rules. Normally, the man must arrange a hotel where the woman can stay by herself, separate from the hotel they go to together. However, in this case, he treats the hotel they go to together as the accommodation he prepared. Even if the woman doesn’t want to stay there, she would then have to find another hotel herself, which can effectively pressure her into staying with him. If any women have experienced this, I hope they report it to the club. That said, these are the rules for the first offer, so from the second meeting onward, the choice of hotel is up to you. > Conversely, I’ve asked them to come to me, but not a single man has ever done so. If we took turns traveling to see each other—or if they came to me sometimes—we might be able to continue, but traveling every time is just too much. I’m starting to get irritated, wondering whether they’re simply being inconsiderate. Since men are the ones paying, they inevitably tend to be selfish. If you don’t like it, you can simply end things, so I think it was a good decision to say, “I turned down all the men who live far away this time.” There doesn’t seem to be anything good that comes from continuing a relationship while feeling irritated. > It’s true that I registered as being okay with long-distance arrangements, but... You can change your preference to not accepting long-distance arrangements later on as well, so if you would prefer that, you should contact the club.

I also make offers to women who live far away, but most of the time, I’m the one who goes to meet them. Occasionally, a woman will come to me instead. People’s thoughts and behavior vary from person to person. So there’s really no point in asking anyone other than the person herself about her feelings or motives.