I previously asked whether being kept in a room for four hours was considered normal. Thank you all for your thoughtful replies.
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I used to put up with harsh terms to stay active, but now I only see people who are willing to meet my non-negotiable conditions.
My terms are:
- A date of no more than four hours total: two hours over a meal and two hours in a room
- Two hours if we’re only in a room
- Normal, non-extreme preferences
- Infrequent communication (quick replies for scheduling, but only one reply a week for small talk; no people who send lots of random messages)
- An allowance of at least ¥50,000
- Not long-distance
- No dinner-only dates (the allowance is often just ¥10,000)
After only seeing people who meet these conditions, the number of men I was seeing went from several dozen to around three, which feels just right.
For the men here, would you be unhappy if a woman gave you these terms? Am I asking for too much?
I’d appreciate any opinions on my conditions. Responses from staff are welcome too.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
That sounds like a pretty fair, reasonable range.
Apparently, it’s about three out of ten, so Fuu, who almost fits those criteria, can be considered one of the top 30% of papas.
One of the good things about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is that women can set their own terms, so I think it’s fine for each person to choose conditions that feel comfortable for them.
Speaking from a man’s perspective, though, if you want to maintain that arrangement long-term, your contribution in the intimate side of the relationship will probably be important, so do your best.
A good papa (a male supporter) who agrees to those terms is likely already seeing someone great.
If you want him to accept your terms, you’ll need to satisfy him in return—or he may choose another woman.
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I wouldn’t continue with someone who doesn’t allow dinner only (I still pay about 10,000 yen per hour even for dinner only).
And once we get to know each other, I’d like to go on drives or visit theme parks together too—with a higher allowance, of course—so that won’t work for me.
Those terms sound more like a private escort service.
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Those terms seem reasonable. When I send casual messages, I usually include some money via PayPay.
If you just lie there like a dead fish, you’ll get dropped, so try different scenarios from time to time—and keep working on your savings, too.
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Others have already answered, but if you’re a dating type C, I don’t see anything in particular to be concerned about.
I don’t think you’re being too demanding. Club activities aren’t something you should force yourself to continue if they’re not working for you.
If you’re satisfied with how things are going now, I don’t think there’s any problem.
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I’m Andy, a member.
If you’re asking whether your expectations are too high, personally, I don’t think they are. If you’re popular enough to receive offers from dozens of people and things are going well with three ongoing arrangements, then it doesn’t seem like there’s any problem.
As for the allowance, some people offer less, while plenty of others propose much more.
As long as the relationship is stress-free for both of you, I’d say it should be fine.
Hope this helps.
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For women who are essentially B2 or C type, those are perfectly reasonable terms. Under those conditions, if she’s good in bed as Makeotoko describes, it’s possible to keep seeing each other regularly. I don’t think either of you needs to end things.
That said, by my standards, I don’t consider a relationship that consists only of meeting for adult intimacy to be dating. I wouldn’t actively cut things off, but I also wouldn’t be the one to invite her out.
I bought the club women passes to the Expo, and they’re all happy to go out for a day every week. Basically, there isn’t an allowance involved.
Some people want a relationship where they can simply feel at ease together—having meals, going out, singing karaoke, watching movies, visiting theme parks, traveling, shopping, or hopping from one place to another—regardless of papa-katsu. So I think it really depends on the people involved.
For some couples, that kind of connection and trust naturally leads into intimacy, almost like foreplay, while others don’t need it. I think there are all kinds of relationships.
So you’re continuing your papa-katsu without quitting.
I think it’s perfectly fine to keep things going as they are.
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How you choose to go about it is up to you. Do whatever works for you.
More to the point, if she says she’s happy with how things are, then I have nothing else to say.
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