Tips
Nov 24, 2024 19:47
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I always use polite language the first time we meet, but as we continue seeing each other—on the third or tenth meeting, for example—I’m never sure whether I should keep speaking politely unless he tells me otherwise, or mix in some casual speech.
I feel like it might be better to feel a little closer, but would it be rude to speak casually when he hasn’t said it’s okay to drop the formal language?
7 answers
Other
Personally, I think that’s part of whether you’re compatible.
I want women to feel comfortable around me, so by about the second meeting, I tell them they don’t have to use formal language. I find it cute when they continue mixing casual and polite speech for a while. And once they get more comfortable and their regional dialect or accent starts to come out, it’s really enjoyable—it makes me feel like they truly feel at ease with me.
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
Everyone feels differently, so I think it would be best to ask him.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを!
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中!
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです!
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Since this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), there’s nothing wrong with talking to him the way you would with your father or family.
That’s probably the most natural approach—it lets your genuine personality come through and makes your individuality and charm easier to see.
If you wait too long while trying to confirm things, he may sense the transactional nature of it, which could get in the way of things progressing.
🏅 プロおぢ。ほんとはプロパパと名乗りたいけど名乗るほどの実力がない名古屋の汚っさんです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
My top-ranked monthly partner stayed formal with me for about two years. I thought her polite way of speaking was cute, so I kept speaking formally too. But at some point, she started using casual speech with me, and now speaking formally feels weird. Plus, whenever she gets angry, she switches back to formal speech, which is kind of scary lol.
Some of my other monthly partners always speak formally, but they’re all very good at it. Whenever they want to act sweet, they switch to casual speech and make me think, “Oh? Maybe she likes me?” It’s fun.
Why not try mixing formal and casual speech?
You: “Hey, wanna go to Disneyland next time?”
Papa: “Sure!”
You: “Yay! I’ll reserve the tickets then♪”
Something like that, maybe? I actually like this kind of mix.
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
The third meeting may feel a little awkward, but after seeing each other ten times, speaking casually becomes the norm.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
> Is it rude to speak casually to someone who hasn’t told me that I don’t need to use polite language?
From this question, it sounds like you’d like to speak casually. However, if he’s older than you and you’re not very close yet, I think it’s generally better to use formal or polite language.
Some men may prefer casual speech, but until you know what type of person he is, it’s probably safest to stick with polite language.
If he prefers you to speak casually, he’ll likely tell you that it’s okay. Starting then wouldn’t be too late.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Everyone’s feelings about that are different, so I think it’s best to communicate with the other person and make sure.