I posted a question here the other day.

① Block him silently without returning the money. ② Send a message saying you won’t meet again, then block him before he reads it, without returning the money. ③ Send a message saying you won’t meet again, and once it shows as read, block him without reading his reply, without returning the money. Those are the three options. Under Japanese law, a gift made on the condition of an adult relationship (intimate) is legally invalid. In other words, the woman cannot demand payment from the man based on that promise. Conversely, the man cannot demand the return of money he has already paid. If you want to follow the law, there’s no need to make things complicated by refunding the money—just end things. If I had to recommend one, I’d suggest option two. Absolutely do not do anything beyond that. You shouldn’t underestimate a 65-year-old man. If you say something to him and he doesn’t calm down, you may end up with no choice but to call the police. Don’t put yourself in such a dangerous situation. The lesson for the future is that when you feel repulsed by someone, turn them down clearly instead of trying to act nice or be a good girl.

In this case, I think it would be perfectly fine to block him on LINE without refunding the money. Even if the man complains to the papa-katsu service, it was their second date, so it’s a matter between the two of them. And even if he went to the police, she didn’t lie by claiming she couldn’t pay her tuition despite not attending school, right? In that case, it wouldn’t constitute fraud either. If he gets angry and starts harassing her, the questioner could consult the police, who would likely treat it as a stalking case. Besides, any reasonable man would eventually realize that he also bears some responsibility for paying upfront when they had only met twice. Some people may say, “Isn’t it wrong not to keep your promise? It was a contract, wasn’t it?” But the promise was essentially “pay money in exchange for intimacy.” Is there really any ethical obligation to honor that? That’s just how I see it. And this has nothing to do with whether he was bald or overweight. In papa-katsu, once a man has handed over the money, even if it was paid in advance, he may simply have to accept losing it. That has nothing to do with being a gentleman. Put the other way around, if a woman is taken advantage of and left afterward, there’s no law or practical way for her to seek recourse either, is there? It’s the same thing. If the questioner wants to refund the money based on her own sense of ethics, she’s free to do so. It’s a world the law doesn’t protect, so it’s basically a lawless zone. If you get taken advantage of, it’s your own fault; if you’re left after intimacy, that’s your fault too. That said, personally, I wouldn’t want to associate with someone who refuses to refund money or takes advantage of someone and disappears, of course. It’s precisely in a lawless environment that a person’s true nature shows.

I think it would be best to refund him promptly by bank transfer (or perhaps registered cash mail or PayPay). That papa seems completely out of place in the papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) scene, and it also sounds like you’d have a hard time enjoying papa-katsu if you have no choice but to deal with men like him. You may find it less stressful to look for a different world.

Refunding it after meeting would just waste both of your time. Either transfer 75,000 yen back right away, or put up with it one more time and refund 50,000 yen when you leave. Keeping your agreement matters. Tell them why.

I’m not answering the woman who asked the question—I’m answering her papa. - Bald - Overweight - Warts on his face - Takes forever to finish - Bad breath, yet wants to kiss a lot Given those terms, you should be paying her an extra allowance. With a monthly arrangement of ¥100,000, meeting twice a month seems about right. And in this case, if she ghosts you, you have no right to complain. The remaining ¥75,000 is your tuition fee. If you had no odor and didn’t kiss so much, there might be women on apps who would accept three adult relationships (intimate) a month for ¥100,000—even if you were bald, overweight, had facial warts, and took forever to finish. But honestly, I wish you’d leave Universe Club.

I don’t think handling the refund through the staff is a good idea. I can’t say whether the man would be okay with it, since that depends on his perspective, but I think you should offer to refund him before meeting. Also, you don’t need to point out that the posts are from the same person. The people answering have already figured that out.