What are some common traits or things they tend to say or do in the past among girls who date other men or papas while telling you that you’re the only one?

I’ve never met anyone like that through Universe, and I don’t believe they exist. This is papa-katsu, lol. Unless a papa tells a woman, “I’ll give you all the allowance you need, including what you get from other papas, so don’t see any other men,” and she agrees to that, I think it’s best to assume every woman has a boyfriend, another papa, or a friends-with-benefits partner…

It’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) whether you’re a woman or a man. Few people—men or women—stick with just one partner, and if the opportunity comes up, most would like to date multiple people. To those who say it’s perfectly normal for men to date multiple partners but wrong for women to do the same: Are you kidding me?

I think you’ve probably already realized this yourself, but do you really think such a thing exists? If it did, most men wouldn’t have such a hard time. Or maybe that’s the whole point of dating women, isn’t it? You’re in your 40s, so it’s about time you figured that out. Though I suppose you don’t want to hear that from someone like me, who’s still wandering around even after turning 60.

Isn’t this more research than a question? It’s not really a Q&A box anymore. It’s more like: “Tell us your experiences—we enjoy reading them!” But the people reading don’t pay anything. They just want to be entertained. In the first place, claims about how “people like this tend to lie” might be interesting as something to read, but in reality, I doubt anyone is exactly like that. If a woman feels that a man is trustworthy and safe to talk to, she’ll open up and tell him various things. If she doesn’t feel that way, most people would understand that it’s safer to simply say, “You’re the only one.” Anyway, after reading this post, I’d say there’s a 99% chance the questioner needs to be told, “You’re the only one.”

I’m exactly the same, and from my perspective, the reality is that even though I behave the same way, some papas believe I’m seeing multiple people while others don’t. I only stay with papas who trust me. For example, no matter how much I show someone I like them or adjust all my plans around them, people who choose to trust will trust, and people who don’t won’t. My most generous (well-paying) papa once overheard me talking with another papa I really liked at a hotel, but even that didn’t make him suspicious. He has never even suspected that I have a boyfriend. I’ve sometimes wondered whether I’m just exceptionally good at lying, but my papa often says things like, “I’d definitely know if you got involved with another man. You’re terrible at lying.” In the end, I think people see the version of reality they want to see. Even so, if you want to avoid people who are dating multiple partners, I think your only options are to hire a private investigator to follow them, or keep them occupied for around 30 days a month.

Just like idols saying they’re single, a papa (a male supporter) saying “you’re the only one” is just lip service. Once you get used to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), you’ll realize it’s basically just a customary greeting.

I don’t think there’s any particular pattern. It’s only natural that attractive girls from these clubs date multiple people.

Since it’s basically a form of fraud, I don’t think the people involved feel like they’re being lied to at all. In other words, you can’t tell from their characteristics or behavior alone. It’s impossible by yourself. The intuition of an outside observer—such as another papa friend—is often right, I feel. If it really bothers you, your only option is probably to pay for a private investigator. This may not be much help to the questioner since it only applies to a relationship style like mine, where I’m seeing multiple women and sometimes introduce them to one another so we can have dinner together. But women involved in papa-katsu sometimes start sharing information, saying things like, “Actually, I have another papa too—” Some keep their secrets, while others don’t, and they sometimes tell me. I’ve been surprised a few times. Another rather unusual example: Since I’m seeing multiple women, I sometimes arrange STI testing for them through a doctor I know. I pay for it, and the results are sent to me as well. Occasionally, one of them tests positive for something like chlamydia, and when I tell her, she’ll honestly confess everything. That’s about all I can think of for now. I’ll add more if anything else comes to mind. Wait, I just remembered. About a year ago, I bought an apartment for shared living and started living with girls who had complicated circumstances—the place is a two-bedroom, so there’s room for two. One night, one of them suddenly started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she confessed that she actually had another papa. She had told me she went back to her parents’ house once a week, but she was really staying overnight with that papa. I’m guessing she was only around twenty and still inexperienced with papa-katsu, so maybe she couldn’t bear the weight of the lie anymore. If the questioner is extremely supportive and understanding toward the woman, she might feel so guilty that she ends up telling him everything. Of course, there’s also a chance she’ll take advantage of him and drain him of everything.