The people you meet through a dating club are, in reality, often married. So if you ask whether they can completely fill your loneliness, my honest answer is that some parts may be filled, while others may not.
That said, I do think there’s a chance of meeting someone who understands you in a way that’s a little different from a boyfriend. Not someone who shares your everyday life like a romantic partner, but someone you can talk to as equals—respecting each other’s feelings and thoughts within the limited time you have together. That kind of distance can sometimes make it easier to be your honest self and feel emotionally lighter.
At the same time, because they’re married, there will inevitably be limits on where you stand in their priorities. You won’t always be able to see them when you want to, and communication is often restricted as well. If you don’t understand that reality, you may end up feeling even lonelier.
Wanting to ease your loneliness and find someone who understands you is completely natural. However, it may be healthier to view a dating club not as a place to hand over all your loneliness, but as a place where you might meet someone who can make it feel a little lighter.
If you’re at a point where you feel you might become deeply dependent on one person, it’s important to take a step back and think things through. But if you have some emotional room, you may very well meet someone who understands you in a genuinely positive way.
As long as you stay clear about what you’re looking for and how much you expect from the other person, I don’t think a dating club is necessarily a bad choice. Please don’t push yourself, and make your own well-being your top priority.
I think it’s possible.
The chances are probably even higher when two people who both want that kind of relationship meet each other.
Compared with meeting someone through ordinary channels, the odds are likely considerably higher—possibly several to dozens of times higher.
That said, you still need to have enough of the qualities the man is looking for.
Even if you meet the minimum standards in every area, simply being above average isn’t necessarily very compelling. So even if you have some shortcomings, you’ll probably need a particularly strong, distinctive appeal.
It probably comes down to luck.
If you find a papa (a male supporter) who actually pays a decent allowance, you might feel more motivated. Once you’ve built up some savings, 60% of your problems are solved.
If you’re at least slightly above average-looking, give it a try.
I believe loneliness can only be resolved by yourself, not by someone else. So whether you can fill that loneliness with someone you meet through a dating club is ultimately up to you.
Also, just because someone else met a confidant through a dating club who offered something different from a boyfriend doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily meet someone like that too. Whether you can build that kind of relationship with someone you meet through a dating club is also up to you.
It’s the same as registering with a matchmaking agency—it doesn’t automatically mean you’ll find a good partner. I think you should work on letting go of the easy mindset of simply waiting for someone to come along and solve your problems for you.
