Tips
Nov 24, 2023 16:35
This content is machine-translated.
A man made me an offer and booked a fairly upscale Italian restaurant. I’d told him I liked wine, so he apparently went out of his way to make the reservation.
After I’d had four glasses, he asked, “Are you still going to drink?”
Did he not like women who drink? Or was he worried about the bill, since each glass was around ¥3,500?
He gave me ¥10,000 for transportation, but on my way home I said, “Thank you so much for dinner today—but the bill must have been pretty expensive!”
Then I put the ¥10,000 he’d given me, plus another ¥10,000, into his bag and left.
Was I rude?
I haven’t heard from him since, and my LINE message is still unread.
What a shame!!
3 answers
🏅 ラッキーゴールドの探査技師
関西在住で多趣味です。
最近、筋トレにて、体重は減っていないのに、ウエストは減りまくりで、筋肉の増量と体脂肪の減量との両立を実現しております。
スタンダードクラス、ゴールドクラスで磨くと光りそうな方にオファーすることが多いです。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I don’t know all the details, but if he’s the type of man who cares about appearances, he may have felt his pride was hurt—perhaps taking your words as an indirect criticism that he was being cheap.
When he asked, “Are you going to drink it all?” it might have helped if you had gently clarified what he really meant at the time.
Also, when putting the ¥20,000 into his bag, it may have been better to add something apologetic and modest, like, “I was having such a good time that I got carried away and drank too much…” I’m also wondering whether he really couldn’t accept it directly from you.
The fact that you returned the money, including the transportation allowance, is another point to consider. If you wanted to meet him again, returning everything—including the transportation allowance—may not have been the best move.
If you treated him as though you thought he was cheap, he would have sensed that too.
Blocking someone on LINE is very much a sign of the times. From my more old-fashioned perspective, I find the man’s response rather immature, especially since this was your first meeting and neither of you knew how the relationship might develop.
Returning the ¥20,000 on the spot was kind, and I would sincerely appreciate the thoughtfulness. However, if you wanted to lead to a next meeting, instead of simply returning it and ending things there, you might have brought him a small thank-you gift next time, invited him somewhere in return, or suggested a restaurant and offered to split the bill up to ¥20,000.
The old custom of returning a celebratory gift may feel like a bothersome tradition, but exchanging gifts can be useful for deepening a relationship. If you want to build toward another meeting, why not try applying that idea, even if only as a starting point?
👨 Male
Universe member
If it were me, I’d reply, “Thank you very much” (lol).
🏅 40歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現AI界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
It might be better to ask again once you’ve sobered up.