Almost every man I’ve met through Universe Club or papa-katsu apps says something like, “Physical compatibility is important, so I’d like us to move forward if we’re compatible physically,” when we talk for the first time.
I understand that these relationships generally involve intimacy, but is it really okay to say something like that to a woman you’ve just met?
When I meet a man for the first time and think, “He’s wonderful—I’d like to see him again,” I find it harder to bring up the allowance (the amount). I start thinking, “I’d really like this much, but will he dislike me if I say it outright?” so I end up being vague. On the other hand, when I feel like I wouldn’t mind if things ended with a particular man, I clearly tell him the allowance I’m hoping for.
So when men I’ve met say so directly that physical compatibility is important, does that mean they weren’t interested in me?
People often say that men are careful about what they say and don’t make a move so easily with a woman they genuinely like, right?
Would you say “physical compatibility is important” to a woman you thought was wonderful? (I’m not saying that I’m a wonderful woman.)
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
I see. I also think physical compatibility is important for continuing an arrangement, but I’ve never actually said that out loud.
If we’re not physically compatible, or if she can’t meet my adult preferences—such as what I’d like her to do—I simply don’t see her again, so there’s no need to bring it up.
When I want to continue seeing a woman, I’m careful in all kinds of ways. I pay attention not only to what I say and do, but also to my appearance and behavior. I observe her closely and make sure I don’t do anything she dislikes.
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Men aren’t really looking for a woman they truly love.
Actually, wouldn’t you feel pressured if a man said he was looking for someone he genuinely loved?
Speaking for myself, and for many men on these clubs, please understand that we’re looking for women we can enjoy an adult relationship (intimate) with.
There are a few men who are happy with dinner only (no intimacy), but…
That’s why physical compatibility is important. Beyond that, of course, it would be nice to find a woman I can genuinely get along with while we’re together.
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I say that an adult relationship (intimate) is the expectation, but I don’t put it as bluntly as “if we’re physically compatible.” Of course, that’s what I have in mind, but I don’t want to come across as too eager. And if we meet intimately and it doesn’t work out, we can simply end things there.
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If a man prioritizes physical compatibility above all else in what he’s looking for in a partner, then I can understand his words and actions.
This is a matter of values, so I don’t think it’s connected to your attractiveness.
If your values are compatible, you can have a good relationship. But if they aren’t, things may gradually become difficult, even if everything seems fine at first.
— It’s me.
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If I think a woman is wonderful and would like to see her again, it becomes harder to bring up the allowance. If I really like her, I don’t mention it.
On the other hand, if I feel it would be fine if things ended with her, I clearly tell her the amount of the allowance.
I believe physical compatibility, as well as everything we’ve been through together up to that point, is important.
So I don’t think I’ve ever told everyone that physical compatibility is important.
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Thank you for your question. I’ll answer as well—Maezawa here.
> When we’re talking for the first time, he says that physical compatibility is important and that he’d like to pursue things further if we’re compatible.
At Universe Club, there are different relationship types. If it’s Type A or B1, I don’t think men would usually bring that up on the first day. With B2, some men might mention it, but since the first meeting ends with dinner, I think the topic of physical compatibility would normally come up from the second meeting onward.
So if someone is saying this to you, it sounds like your relationship type may be set incorrectly.
> When I think a man is wonderful and would like to see him again, it becomes difficult to bring up the allowance (amount).
If you’re using an app, don’t you usually discuss money before meeting? If you haven’t, you could say beforehand how much you expect for an intimate relationship and how much for dinner. That way, I think you’ll have less trouble.
> Men often say that when they genuinely like a woman, they’re careful about what they say and don’t make a move so easily, right?
Do they? That may be your personal view, but it’s hard to say whether that’s how men in general think. I’m sure there are men like that, but I also feel there are more men who aren’t that way.
In the first place, I’m not sure what you mean by “someone you genuinely like.” Do you mean someone you want to marry?
Even if you’re considering marriage, I think physical compatibility is important. It seems that quite a few people end up divorcing because they’re physically incompatible.
(Or perhaps they stay married but seek intimacy elsewhere.)
> Can you really tell a woman you think is wonderful that physical compatibility is important?
Whether someone says it or not is a separate issue. Some people may not realize how important physical compatibility is. And if someone simply wants to enter into a legally recognized marriage, perhaps physical compatibility isn’t necessary for them.
I think this ultimately depends on each person’s values.
Are you registered with a dating club because you’re looking for a marriage partner? If so, I feel you might be better off registering with a marriage agency.
With those agencies, you generally can’t enter into an adult relationship (intimate) unless you pay the matchmaking fee, leave the agency, and proceed after becoming engaged. So basically, the adult relationship would usually begin after the engagement.
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Even if he finds you beautiful and really likes you, physical compatibility matters, and he’d probably say it’s an essential requirement when looking for someone through a dating club.
Whether he can actually say that or not is beside the point—it’s not about your standards.
Marika
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