I’m the one who asked about being the same age as my papa’s daughter.

Mac was exactly right. By breaking down these painful feelings in detail, you helped me look at myself objectively. Thank you. You asked whether I feel a sense of superiority, so I’d like to answer here. I don’t. Whenever I meet that papa, we spend the night together and are intimate for more than 24 hours, taking only about three drink breaks and not even stopping to eat—we stay wrapped up in each other the whole time, almost crazed. I’m not exaggerating; if anything, I’m simplifying it. We’re that compatible, and I’d never experienced anything that felt so good before. I wrote that we have such great physical chemistry, but what I love even more is the gentle, warm look in my papa’s eyes when he says my name. He says it with love. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense. That’s why I know he must call his daughter’s name with an even gentler look than he gives me. He probably gave her a wonderful name, stroked her head, and raised her by telling her, “You’re so cute” and “You’re doing your best.” She receives from him a gentle, loving ecstasy greater than anything physical… I’m sorry for expressing it in such a creepy way, but does what I mean come across? I lost my parents, so perhaps I’ve started seeing that papa a little like a parent, or maybe I’ve become dependent on him… I sometimes deliberately say things that put him in a difficult position, or act spoiled and needy. Even so, he always accepts me, and that makes it painful. This is a reverse offer, but I had trouble with a stalker and quit, so I’m not currently registered with a club. It’s a shame because it was a great club where I received offers from many people… Thank you, everyone. I wish I could have met you. I should probably break up with him, right? But will I be able to keep going? How?