I was approached by a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) newbie, but he keeps making me spend hours on LINE almost every day.
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He keeps me tied up for about four hours, taking me for drives and to expensive restaurants, but never gives me my allowance. I know I should speak up, but every time I bring it up on LINE, he says he’ll pay me next time and apologizes.
He also complains about other women he’s approached and asks me how to approach them. He seems to genuinely think he’s popular, when the only reason any of us give him the time of day is because there’s an allowance involved.
Apparently, one woman told him, “You’re so smart and wonderful, so please date me—I don’t need an allowance.”
I’m thinking, “Yeah, right. That was just her strategy,” and secretly rolling my eyes…
He’s constantly talking about other women—just your typical guy who can’t get women.
This kind of older man is a total red flag.
It’s not normal to go out for a meal and not receive an allowance, right?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
> Making you spend hours on LINE almost every day
That’s where you should simply ignore her, but your kindness in going along with it is working against you.
> Not giving you an allowance every time
You’re not at fault for not bringing it up.
In a dating club, a gentleman should be considerate enough not to make the woman worry about whether she’ll receive her allowance.
I think many women genuinely feel that it’s hard to ask for an allowance themselves.
> Expressing regret every time
I’m sure he’s convinced that saying he’s sorry will make everything forgiven.
You can say anything with just words—or on LINE.
You should tell him:
“If you’re really sorry, show me through your actions, not just your words.”
Women have told me that many times too.
Thanks to being called out, I was able to change my behavior, so I’m grateful to the women who pointed it out.
> He seems to genuinely think he’s popular, when in reality he only gets attention because everyone receives an allowance.
Exactly!
Men really are foolish creatures who twist things into whatever interpretation suits them best.
Myself included.
It’s me.
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That papa is probably experienced with app-based papa-katsu, not with Universe’s papa-katsu.
Men who haven’t been popular with women tend to fall for things pretty easily.
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You’re letting yourself get pushed around too much.
From now on, discuss the terms at the first meeting. If someone isn’t willing to pay an allowance, say goodbye and wait for the next offer.
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At a dating club, financial support is the basic premise, so meeting for a meal without any allowance is generally out of the question.
As you said, that man seems to have a lot of misconceptions.
By the way, it also seems you may have a slight misunderstanding, so let me clarify: being a “black-tier male” doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a gentleman or wealthy.
I believe the membership fee was ¥300,000, but if you can afford to pay that much, you can start out as a black-tier male. Both a friend of mine and I were former salon members, and we both participated at the Platinum level on UC, so a man’s rank isn’t necessarily linked to his financial situation.
Being with that person must be stressful. I think you should end things.
※Since the topic of allowances came up, I’ll mention that today will be the first time in my dating-club experience that I’m meeting someone without giving an allowance.
When I asked my partner, “What would you like for Christmas?” she said, “I’d be happiest if we could meet and talk. So for Christmas Eve, I’d like the gift of you meeting me.” She then added, “I’m not asking to meet because I want money, so please don’t give me any allowance on Christmas Eve.” That made me happy.
It might be a strategy（笑）...but I’m fine with that too.
I hope everyone has a happy Christmas Eve.
Merry Christmas!
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