Is it rude if I’m the only one drinking during dinner?
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I enjoy alcohol, and when I go out for a meal, I’d ideally like to enjoy some good food with a drink.
However, all of the papas I’m seeing don’t drink. Their reasons vary: alcohol makes it difficult for them to perform later, they drove there, or they simply don’t like drinking.
They all know I enjoy alcohol, so they kindly tell me, “Go ahead and drink—don’t worry about me.” Still, I feel a little guilty, even though I want to drink, and I’m torn.
Would it be rude for me to drink by myself?
Would you dislike it if only your partner drank?
I’d love to hear everyone’s personal opinions.
Try having him drink and observe how he acts. See whether he’s genuinely nice, not just all talk.
In my case, I don’t mind letting him drink. I drink too, since I can’t stay standing myself, but I keep the amount under control.
If your papa likes drinking but you’re worried he might not be able to perform, suggest going to his room first and then having a meal.
I tried it once myself, and it was fun having a lot to drink.
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If someone can’t drink because they have a low tolerance, I think it’s fine for them to drink without worrying about it, since they probably don’t like having the other person hold back for their sake.
Even if drinking makes some men unable to perform, that’s their own concern, so I think it’s fine for them to drink too.
People who come by car are also making that choice for their own reasons, but if they enjoy drinking, they may be holding back and might even wish they could join in when they see you drinking. That said, if they came by car, they presumably weren’t planning to drink anyway, so I think it’s fine.
With anyone, I think it’s best to limit yourself to enough to make the meal more enjoyable and avoid getting drunk.
Marika
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Everyone has different values, but…
I generally don’t drink alcohol at restaurants, so my attitude is simply, “If she wants to drink, go ahead.”
Every now and then, when I feel like having a rare sake that’s hard for ordinary people to get, I make a reservation at a place that specializes in it.
The Aramasa No. 6 I had with the woman I’m seeing the day before yesterday was personally not that impressive…
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I don’t think it’s rude to drink.
That said, if you drink too much, he might feel that you’re “not very considerate,” so it’s probably best to keep it moderate.
Also, if you freely order wine at an upscale French restaurant, the bill can end up being just as extravagant, so it’s safer to show at least a little restraint.
Every now and then, you could say something like, “I feel like having a soft drink today. You always accommodate me, so today I feel like accommodating you.” Some men might be happy to hear that.
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It’s actually ruder not to drink.
Drink as much as you want and have a fun time.
If she can’t drink because she’s driving or because it might affect the adult relationship, I’d want her to drink plenty on my behalf too. That makes for a much more relaxed, lively atmosphere. More than anything, men are happy just watching a woman have a genuinely good time, even if they aren’t drinking themselves.
Unless you’re holding back because you want to focus on the adult relationship, I think it’s fine to drink without worrying about it. That’s much better than awkwardly holding back and only drinking a little.
That said, I suppose it depends on the person.
I’ve also gone along to four, five, even six places without drinking a single drop myself—is that getting them too excited? So maybe it really depends on the individual. It probably varies by man, and conversation chemistry matters too.
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I usually have drinks together with her, but even when I’m not drinking—because I’m driving, for example—I’m fine with her having a little. It loosens things up a bit and makes the conversation more enjoyable.
On the other hand, sometimes she’ll say she’s dieting and not drink at all. In those cases, I may be the only one drinking.
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I don’t think it’s rude or makes anyone uncomfortable as long as you’re not drinking excessively.
Personally, I’d take “Feel free to drink” to mean that one or two drinks are fine. Besides, you’re not the one paying for them.
I think it’s best to use your judgment and know your limits.
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