Tips
Sep 20, 2022 01:56
12 answers
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
Wow, you even went as far as checking her friends’ pages?
That’s some serious determination for papa-katsu.
If she’s beautiful and sweet enough for you to be this attached, there must be plenty of other ways to meet someone—through work, bars, group dates, introductions from friends, picking someone up, or other dating agencies.
If you really dislike it that much, why not offer to cover the allowance she’d get from another papa on a monthly basis and ask her not to meet him?
Other
If she finds out she’s being searched for that obsessively, like by a stalker, I’m sure she’ll end things immediately. A papa that scary? I’d run for my life.
As the other answerers have said, if she was receiving enough allowance from you alone, she’d probably have no need for other papas. Isn’t it possible she’s dissatisfied with something?
If you absolutely want her to see only you, you’d be better off offering a substantial amount and securing her in a monthly arrangement. If you can’t do that, give up and pretend you don’t see anything.
—Ryo
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Since Taro wrote:
> If the relationship with you is good, those feelings will naturally fade away.
Try changing your perspective: instead of building a relationship where suspicion grows, build one where it naturally diminishes.
If your relationship is good, your sense of security, trust, and confidence in each other should grow.
Other
Wait… hmm.
He sounds a bit like a stalker—are you okay? (><)
I’m sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings.
Even when you’re just going about your normal life, do men approach you and things develop from there…?
What made you feel like there might be another man in the picture? Did his behavior suddenly change or something?
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
They must be meeting somewhere, I suppose.
That said, why shouldn’t she be allowed to see other men?
How much allowance do you give her each month? If it’s on the low side, I can understand why she’d have reason to meet other men.
If you’re giving her around ¥1 million a month, then perhaps she simply wants to try dating other men as well.
In any case, there’s no point worrying about it, so I think it’s best to pretend you haven’t noticed.
美惺（みさと）
?
Send a reverse offer to this responder
Other
If she’s meeting someone somewhere, it’s somewhere you don’t know about…
Do you really enjoy investigating the woman you’re seeing like that, even going through your friends to do it? And if you found out something, would you tell her?
I absolutely hate being tied down. What I dislike is that you don’t seem to understand that doing something like this will only make her feelings for you fade.
👨 Male
Universe member
As everyone says, it’s perfectly fine for her to stay.
Just be careful about diseases and work on increasing your own value.
Whether she leaves or stays is up to her. There are plenty of other women out there, so I don’t think you need to worry too much.
Other
Did your papa-katsu papa really go as far as using his friends to look for you?
Are you planning to find proof and confront him with it?
You’re only going to scare her even more and drive her away. She may have already noticed how fixated you are and started planning how to disappear.
You should cool your head.
Akari
Other
Maybe she simply got a boyfriend.
As for your question, there are plenty of possibilities: the regular scene that Mr. Loser mentioned (unless she was the girl you approached at the bar the other day), the other clubs, lounges, and upscale clubs Aya mentioned, as well as paid socializing opportunities where you don’t even have to show your face. Those can be stricter than interviews for Universe, but they also seem safer.
There could be all sorts of reasons she’s meeting other papas, but based on my limited experience, the cause is basically on our side as papas. If there’s anything you can do, it’s not to suspect her, but to reflect on your own behavior and whether there’s anything wrong with the allowance or the terms of the arrangement.
You’re more experienced than I am when it comes to adult relationships, so asking a question like this and panicking over it is honestly pretty lame.
Other
Who knows? There are countless dating clubs, and there are also milder forms of adult entertainment. I know a place—not a hostess club—where you can make it home by the last train, and that attracts fairly good clients. Japan’s adult-entertainment industry is highly developed, with systems that can provide financial support even to women who are very wary.
I’ve had a similar experience myself, so let me say this: that probably isn’t the real issue. You can’t know what anyone does when they’re not with you, and you can’t control them. But if your relationship with her is good, those things will naturally fade away. Even so, if you’re naturally suspicious, she may end up looking down on you for it. Then you think, “Why didn’t you just tell me sooner?”—but of course, they usually don’t. Especially when she isn’t the kind of woman who tells you things just to earn points with you. That’s what makes it complicated.
The reason you’re so caught up in all this is because you’re serious about her. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, but I do hope you’ll get past this stage soon. It’s a good opportunity to think deeply about what you want, what you want from her, and how she feels as well.
You’ve opened Pandora’s box, so let me offer you one small bit of hope: the fact that she’s still willing to see you means that you’re still an important person to her. Do you understand? You’re the one being forced to make a decision. Will you grab hold of the spider’s thread, or smash the entire web to pieces? It’s a fairly important matter.
Taro
Other
You’re asking friends in other clubs if they know where she is and whether she has another papa… That’s scary…
Women pick up on a man’s obsessiveness much more easily than men realize. And it quickly turns into fear and disgust.
Unfortunately, maybe she disliked that side of you (found it creepy) and started looking for another papa.
For your information, there are dozens of dating clubs in Tokyo, and many allow women to remain anonymous, so information obtained through friends isn’t reliable.
She could also meet a papa by working—even just occasionally—at a lounge or upscale club, so the possibilities are endless…
In any case, there’s no point digging into it. You’ll probably have a better chance of being liked by her if you let go of your obsession, so good luck.
🏅 プロおぢ。ほんとはプロパパと名乗りたいけど名乗るほどの実力がない名古屋の汚っさんです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Someone like Early-san or me may have approached him in the open and turned him into a monthly supporter.
Questions like this are catnip for the respondents, so they’ll tear you to shreds—but respondents are human too. If one of them ended up in the same situation as the person asking, they’d lose their composure just as easily, so don’t worry lol.
The reason I can act so unfazed is that I’m not in love. If any of the other respondents spotted another woman around their favorite papa, they’d either become a regular emotional wreck or turn into a vengeful demon—depending on the person.