I’m new to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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Why do people say arrangements with a high allowance don’t last?
Someone who recently made me an offer explained various things to me, and that’s what they said.
But from my perspective, money is the only thing I can judge by.
I don’t want to date lots of different people, so I’d like one person to pay me generously.
By the way, even for a pay-per-meeting arrangement, I wouldn’t accept anything less than 100,000 yen.
If she’s a Platinum-level girl and he likes her, isn’t it only natural for him to offer more?
Isn’t using money the only way men can show their appeal?
If she’s the kind of girl who’s cute but seems too unintelligent to understand something like that, I wouldn’t want to keep seeing her for a pay-per-meeting allowance of 100,000 yen or more if I were a man.
After talking to her once and giving it a try, I’d probably decide I was done—unless we happened to be exceptionally compatible physically.
Marika
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I know this may sound harsh, but…
There may be someone out there who sees your value as being worth more and might offer you 100,000 yen or more… possibly.
But if that’s how you approach things, no one will offer you a high allowance.
Do you have the looks of a famous actress, along with a kind heart, perfect emotional sensitivity, and impeccable manners and comportment?
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You see people like this in the Q&A section too, but anyone offering ¥10,000, ¥13,000, or ¥100,000 per meeting will cut you off immediately unless you rank among his top five regulars.
You have to keep telling him how much you love him, personally beg him to finish inside you, and make an effort to reply to his countless LINE messages as quickly as possible—or he’ll cut you off, and it won’t last.
That’s because the more well-mannered and generous (well-paying) a man is, the more likely he is to find a perfect woman who does exactly as he says.
Do you think you can come out on top, asker?
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You need to take a closer look at the men you’re dealing with.
First of all, most men don’t place that much value on women. So they casually assume that giving this much should be enough—and in reality, most women will agree to see them for about that amount.
Take grapes, for example. You can buy delicious grapes for 2,000 yen. So if you ask someone to pay 10,000 yen for the same grapes, they won’t buy them.
They’ll think they’re too expensive.
But if you can make them understand that these grapes are different from the 2,000-yen ones, they may be willing to pay 10,000 yen.
That said, if the person’s income is such that spending 10,000 yen would affect their monthly budget, they won’t pay it even if they understand the value.
In other words, it’s important to determine:
- Whether the man has enough financial leeway that paying 100,000 yen wouldn’t trouble him
- Whether he’s actually looking for a high-quality woman badly enough to pay 100,000 yen for her
(If someone thinks Shine Muscat grapes are good enough, recommending Ruby Roman grapes won’t change their mind—they’ll still think Shine Muscat is good enough.)
Once you’ve figured that out, you also need to be more like Ruby Roman than Shine Muscat, and you need to be able to convey the appeal of Ruby Roman to him.
Only when all of those factors come together will he agree to pay 100,000 yen per meeting.
So first, I think you should develop a better eye for judging people. It may also be effective to change your strategy depending on the man.
For example, you could let someone who has only ever eaten Delaware grapes sample Shine Muscat, make them completely hooked on it, and then gradually lead things toward a point where they can’t continue seeing you unless they increase your allowance.
There are certain religious organizations that get people to pay over all their assets—even to the point of bankruptcy—and the person is satisfied with that.
If you could do the same thing, it would theoretically be possible to receive a man’s entire fortune.
You should think carefully and study what would make someone fall blindly in love with you.
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Men who pay a lot tend to judge women more harshly. They start thinking, “If I’m paying this much, I should be able to meet even better women.”
So they keep making offers to beautiful women one after another, and gradually become unable to feel satisfied with what they have. In a way, you could almost feel sorry for them.
Interestingly, the women who occasionally win over men like that are often surprisingly down-to-earth.
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If you can make him think, “I want to see her even if I have to pay that much,” I think the arrangement can continue even with a high allowance.
That said, you need to offer enough value to justify it, and what you offer has to match what he’s looking for.
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I don’t give a large allowance to girls who don’t seem likely to pay their taxes—seriously.
Questioner, you’re giving off a strong vibe that you probably won’t pay taxes, so even if we meet, it’ll only be once.
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It’s pretty simple: people pay what they feel something is worth. If they don’t want to let you go, they’ll pay.
If they don’t feel it’s worth that much, they won’t want to pay.
So, you either need to find a papa (a male supporter) who’s willing to pay your desired amount and doesn’t want to let you go,
or—
if you can’t find one, I’m afraid it means the person paying doesn’t see you as being worth that much.
There are plenty of other women out there, after all. If the arrangement doesn’t feel worth the money to him, he’ll look for someone else.
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I’m not sure what length of time you have in mind by “lasting,” but I think some arrangements do continue.
If she’s one of the top few percent of popular women, she probably won’t be chosen unless the man has various appealing qualities—money being the main one. But if she isn’t one of those highly popular women, there are more women than men, so I think that person was saying that, conversely, she won’t continue being chosen unless she has something appealing to offer.
Incidentally, there are quite a lot of women in the Platinum class as well, so that alone won’t get you anywhere. There are also plenty of women in the Gold and Standard classes who catch men’s attention. So if you go around saying, especially in an anonymous Q&A, that being Platinum means men have no choice but to appeal with money, I don’t think you’ll continue being chosen.
I’ve never tried a trial arrangement myself, but I think there are quite a few people who would have an adult relationship once on a trial basis if the pay-per-meeting allowance were around 10.
If they decide you’re not worth it, they’ll simply make an offer to someone else next time.
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When you say it didn’t continue, do you mean they turned you down after you offered 100,000 yen on a pay-per-meeting basis?
Unfortunately, I’m not a man, so this is just my personal guess, but there could be various reasons why things don’t continue.
For example, you may be choosing someone who doesn’t have much money and is fine with a one-off meeting but can’t keep it going; she may not be the kind of woman who can comfortably pay a 100,000-yen allowance each time; or there may be an issue with the timing of the negotiation… and so on.
Being able to communicate what you want clearly and have things work out accordingly might also be considered a skill in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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Because the more allowance someone gives, the more they’ll expect in return.
They may offer a large allowance once or a few times out of curiosity or enthusiasm, but if it’s going to continue, it’s only natural for them to expect something that matches the amount they’re paying.
If you want 10 on a pay-per-meeting basis, you’ll need to provide a better experience than meeting a woman twice at 5 each time, or it won’t last.
Just as women can appeal through qualities other than money by saying they’re fine with a smaller allowance, men can also appeal through things other than money. Some women want even 10,000 yen more, but others value things that matter more to them than a difference of several tens of thousands of yen.
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For the person asking the question, I suppose that’s how it feels.
But if you’re saying, “I can only judge people by how much money is involved,” then even among men, the one offering a higher allowance would seem more attractive, while among women, the one accepting a lower allowance would seem cuter.
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You may be young, but with that mindset, it might end after just one meeting.
The more generous (well-paying) the supporter, the more competition there is, and top-tier women—including those who are practically professionals at making it look natural—will gather around him.
I think it’s important to make him want to see you again, even if it’s just to talk.
Akari
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