I only just registered and still don’t really know how to handle things, so I’d really appreciate your advice.
The other day, I had a wonderful evening with a man who had reached out to me. We exchanged contact information, said goodbye, and I sent a thank-you message. After that, though, we stopped talking.
A little under a week after we met, he messaged me saying, “I was wondering how you’ve been.” We exchanged a few messages, and then the conversation stopped again.
I did tell him, “I’d like to see you again, so please ask me out when you have some free time,” but afterward I started wondering whether I should have invited him out with a specific date and time instead.
Personally, I find him attractive as a man and would love to see him again soon. However, in this kind of club, I was worried that if I said, “I want to see you!” it might be taken to mean, “I want money,” so I couldn’t bring myself to say it... Of course, the allowance is important too, but I genuinely want to see him just as much.
Would it still be okay for me to message him now and invite him out by suggesting a specific date and time? Or is it better for women to wait for the man to make the move?
Sorry for asking such a high-schooler-like question.
I’d really appreciate your advice.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Hmm, this is definitely something to think about.
Maybe he was only checking your compatibility. That’s one of the interesting things about dating clubs, I guess（笑）
Still, if you liked him, I think giving it another shot is worth considering.
> It’s actually rare—and lucky—to find someone you genuinely like among the people who make you an offer.
> It really is rare.
Hmm, I see（笑）
Well, that’s what dating clubs are like, I suppose（笑）
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I feel the same way—I can’t bring myself to take the initiative and invite someone out either. It was the same when I had a boyfriend.
But I’ve heard on here that women also need to be proactive. Still, it’s difficult when that’s just not in my nature(´；ω；｀)
I’m pretty fragile emotionally, so even after getting an offer, I’m still just waiting for the next one.
I’m rooting for you!! (●'д')b You’ve got this!
Ryo-san (*´▽｀)ﾉﾉ Nice to meet you~
I look forward to getting to know you (ﾉ)'ω`(ヾ)
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He must have thought you were special.
That’s pretty rare, so make sure you value it.
It probably would have been easier if you’d both discussed how often you wanted to meet during your first date.
For now, try messaging him, “I’d like to get to know you better.”
Also, he may be busy at the moment because many companies have their fiscal year-end in September.
I think it would be a good idea to send him your available dates. Be sure to include your availability for about a month in advance.
Wishing you the best.
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You did tell him, “I’d like to see you again, so please invite me whenever you have some free time.”
Even so, if he hasn’t invited you, he may not be all that interested.
Next time, I think it would be better to suggest around three possible dates early on and move the conversation in that direction.
Women often send a lot of LINE messages from the first day through the next few days or even the following week. That usually shows they made a good impression. It’s fine to send plenty of messages, even if the man can’t keep up with replying.
> Would it be okay to send him some specific dates now and invite him again?
I don’t think you should chase him.
Instead, you could tell him that you’d be happy to see him again, and more importantly, share what you enjoyed about or found funny during your first date. You can also have a fun conversation over LINE about everyday topics related to that, then bring up things that could lead to your next date—such as your next meal, a restaurant you’d like to visit, or topics that make it sound like you’d both enjoy seeing each other again. That would also be a good time to suggest some possible dates. It could be anything, even a topic connected to something you ate on your first date.
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I know what you mean!
At first, I remember feeling frustrated and asking about it here.
It’s been two and a half years now. With the person I’m still seeing, we both have work and other commitments, so we suggest possible dates well in advance.
In the beginning, I couldn’t bring myself to ask, “When are you free?” But when I reached out with a few possible dates and said, “I’d be happy if we could meet,” he was much more pleased than I expected, and we were able to make plans smoothly.
I’ve also told him that, although I don’t usually say it out loud, I really like the gentle atmosphere when we’re together or talking.
It’s actually rare—and lucky—to find someone you genuinely think is wonderful among the people who make you an offer, so I hope you’ll give it your best!
Akari
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Personally, if I feel that meeting once was enough, I don’t invite her out again.
When I do that, things naturally fizzle out pretty often.
Even if she assumes that a woman saying she wants to meet means she wants money, if she doesn’t show any interest in meeting, it’s goodbye.
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There’s nothing wrong with inviting him, and there are also bad papas like me who take not being invited as an opportunity to fade out, so I think it’s better to ask.
☆ Ryo, you’re welcome here.
> I imagine you’re busy, but I’d love to see you again.
> If possible, I’d be happy to meet sometime around [date] at [time].
> If that doesn’t work, how about [date] or [date]?
> Please let me know what works best for you.
I think it’s best to phrase it in a way that takes the other person’s schedule into consideration.
That’s perfect. Feel free to copy and paste it.
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Congratulations on joining!
If it were me, I’d suggest a few possible dates and invite him out. If we still couldn’t settle on one, I’d probably say something considerate like, “Would it be a bother if I invited you?”
As long as you’re not selfishly asking to meet every day—“I want to see you today, tomorrow, and every day!”—I think men would be happy to hear from you!
>> Nice to meet you, Ryo! I look forward to getting to know you♡
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I’m Ryo, one of the female respondents.
Nice to meet you all.
I think the other person would be happy if you, as the woman, suggested a specific date and invited him to meet. However, he may be busy, so it’s best to phrase it with consideration for his schedule, such as:
“I imagine you’re busy, but I’d love to see you again. If possible, I’d be happy to meet around [time] on [date]. If that doesn’t work, would any of [date] or [date]—or perhaps another day in the next few days—be convenient for you?”
When complimenting him by saying he’s wonderful, being specific is also a good idea. For example, explaining what you found appealing will make him feel that you genuinely mean it rather than just using a template.
Why not try inviting him?
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