My papa in his 50s takes a long time to finish…

As a guy with delayed ejaculation, I’m most grateful when my partner doesn’t make a big deal of it. I usually stop without forcing things once we’re both tired. After penetrating a woman, masturbating feels incredibly good, so that satisfies me to some extent. As for possible solutions, here are a few thoughts. Abstaining from masturbation doesn’t necessarily make it easier to climax. In fact, abstaining excessively may even have the opposite effect. Since the main thing is simply allowing sperm to build up, I feel that ejaculating every two or three days may actually help improve delayed ejaculation. Pelvic floor exercises also seem like they could be effective. It is easier for me to climax with a younger woman, after all… though that’s a separate issue from arousal itself. Also, condoms these days are genuinely very thin, so I don’t think going without one would make that much difference. Please take this as merely my personal opinion.

You sound very caring and devoted. Your papa is lucky. I think you should explore what feels good to him and what kinds of situations he likes, then keep trying different things through trial and error until you find what works for him. For men, it’s not just about being more intense. There are specific places and positions that feel good, situations they enjoy, and words that turn them on. In my case, I find it easier to climax when my partner is enjoying herself. I know it can be challenging, but try different things without pushing yourself so hard that you end up disliking it. Also, aside from this papa, I think it would be good for you to have plenty of experiences with a boyfriend or someone else who can help you enjoy yourself. As you gain more experience, you may find that you can keep going for longer.

Ah, I’ve had a similar experience from the opposite perspective. We got along incredibly well, and she looked and felt amazing, but for some reason I just couldn’t perform. I tried everything to make sex happen, but it ended without success. She never said it outright, but I felt like I’d been labeled an impotent guy… I’m sure men struggle with this too. That’s where Pavlov comes to everyone’s rescue. Not Pabron cold medicine—Pavlov, famous for “Pavlov’s dogs.” It’s all about conditioned reflexes. If you manage to have successful sex a few times, that positive response becomes conditioned. The key is figuring out how to create it. If bad experiences pile up, the reverse Pavlov takes over, so you need to act quickly: “Early and often, Pavlov!” Based on past experience, men probably have a pretty good idea of their physical limits. Once things shift from “I’m moving my hips because it feels good” to “I’m moving my hips because I just have to finish,” it’s probably too late, so try to reach the finish line before that point. While he’s still in the former state, get him to “I’m gonna cum, ahh♡,” followed by “I’m cumming too—shoot, shoot.” Not from the very beginning, though. Start normally, then gradually let him feel, “Oh, this might feel pretty good,” until you reach the “I’m gonna cum, ahh♡” stage and then “I’m cumming too.” This escalation scenario is important. Then imprint that successful scenario on him in true Pavlovian fashion. It’s just like training a dog to perform a trick. At first, pretending is fine. Just make it convincing. When you feel the timing is right, try techniques used by sex workers, like gently stroking the backs of his testicles with your fingertips. Kissing, as other respondents have suggested, is good too. Hugging him at the same time can work, but be careful not to restrict his movement—the hip thrusting is for his benefit. The important thing is to pull out all the stops and create a successful experience. In my experience, Pavlov will descend after just once if you can create a memorable success, and even if not, two or three times should do it. Men want that kind of situation too, so it’s usually pretty easy. Their first joint project together, woof. Best of luck! Taro

I’ve actually asked her, “Please—go ahead and climax if you want, but don’t say, ‘I’m coming!’ Please.” Because when a woman says that, I get carried away and finish right away too. I’d say it has some effect.

How much pleasure are you actually feeling? How aroused is the woman? How much is she enjoying it? Has she climaxed? Is she repeatedly climaxing? At a man’s age, he probably can’t help but get excited simply by watching how you respond. Once you climax, I imagine the man will finish within a minute or two. Rather than focusing on making him climax quickly, I think you should focus on climaxing yourself—on enjoying the sensations and reaching your own peak. And once you’ve climaxed—or even if you couldn’t—if you’ve already passed your peak, that should be the end of it. Continuing with sex that feels this unfulfilling will only create an increasingly vicious cycle. Also, it depends on whether you prefer sex that gets you to climax or whether you want to enjoy lots of different activities during sex. If it’s the latter, a longer session may work, but if you prefer a quick, satisfying experience, I think it’s better to wrap things up early.

I think the questioner’s moans would have the biggest impact. I’m not sure whether vaginal exercises are effective, but if they are, they might make things a little more stimulating. That said, I’m not sure it’s worth having overly high expectations. Another option would be to master handjob and blowjob techniques, bringing him right to the edge before penetration—almost enough for him to finish beforehand—so that once penetration happens, he comes almost immediately. Something along those lines might work too.

Kiss during penetration—really passionate, arousing kisses. Also, encourage him so you can finish together when I’m about to lose control. It seems rushing only makes it harder to finish, so I’d say the key is to keep things exciting without letting him realize you’re starting to lose interest. Since he took Viagra, I’m not sure delayed ejaculation is something that’s easy to improve, though this is just my personal opinion. Akari

Tease them with words. Personally, I finish faster when the woman reacts enthusiastically.