Tips May 25, 2022 08:15

I’m a male member.

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Some profiles say whether long-distance dates are okay or not, while others don’t. Generally speaking, what counts as “long-distance”? Would a one-hour bullet-train ride be considered far?
👤 Asked by Guest 👨GenderMale 🎂 40s 👑 Universe male member
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6 answers

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🏅 あなたの味方
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Age: Private 👨 Male Universe staff
For example, in the case of Tokyo, if you’re meeting somewhere in the Kanto area, you generally don’t need to pay the woman’s actual transportation costs separately unless it’s specifically stated. If the meeting is outside Kanto, however, the man is expected to cover the round-trip transportation costs in addition to the 5,000–10,000 yen allowance. In that case, it’s considered “far away.” Likewise, for Osaka, transportation costs are generally not required separately if the meeting is in the Kansai area unless otherwise stated. So locations outside Kansai are similarly considered “far away.” That said, even when the location isn’t considered “far away,” if the one-way fare is over 1,500 yen, you may be asked something like, “Would you like the woman to receive transportation expenses separately?” In some cases, the comments may say something like: “Please give the woman 3,000 yen for actual round-trip transportation costs in addition to the 5,000–10,000 yen allowance.” This isn’t considered “far away,” but it is a case where the actual transportation costs need to be covered separately. Incidentally, 1,500 yen isn’t a strict standard. It’s more a matter of asking the woman when the cost seems like it might be a bit burdensome.
(3 replies left)
If you have to take the Shinkansen, I’d assume it’s probably a long distance. Still, everyone’s different, so I think it’s best to ask the woman directly. I’m in Tokyo, but neighboring Saitama and Chiba feel far to me. Yokohama in Kanagawa, though, feels fairly close. I can go if it’s somewhere familiar, but I think it would be difficult to go somewhere I’ve never been before. She may normally not be open to long-distance arrangements, but if she’s someone you really want to meet, it would be great if you could go to her.
(3 replies left)
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An hour by bullet train would probably count as a long distance. Why not ask how much time and energy she has available for dates, then decide from there? I’m in a long-distance papa-katsu arrangement, and we travel back and forth by bullet train. If you’re considerate of her situation and have the time, you could take turns making the trip—for example, going to see her this week. That could help reduce the physical strain on her, as well as the time spent traveling round-trip. I was worried that paying for the bullet-train fare every time, having him cover the cost, and the physical toll on me (bullet trains can be tiring) might not be sustainable. But I’m honestly very happy that he says he wants to see me badly enough to go that far.
(3 replies left)
負け男
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Age: Private 👨 Male Universe member
From a woman’s perspective, whether she’s willing to meet long-distance probably depends on how much extra allowance you offer. In my case, I add: - Under 2 hours: no extra - 2–3 hours: +1 - 3–4 hours: +2 For example, if someone who normally receives 10 for a pay-per-meeting date spends three and a half hours coming to see me, I’ll give her 12, plus the cost of a Shinkansen Green Car ticket. Even if she takes a non-reserved seat, I still give her the Green Car fare. If you show this kind of basic consideration, even women who usually don’t accept long-distance arrangements will readily agree. That’s also what letter dates are for. If you smoothly explain the extra allowance and Green Car fare through a letter date, you’ll only get replies agreeing to the date. If you want to save on the allowance, then you should go to her hometown. Taking a non-reserved Shinkansen seat or an overnight bus will save you on transportation costs.
(3 replies left)
だて◎ゆめ
👨 Male Universe member
I think what counts as “far away” varies from person to person. If it feels far to you, then it’s far away. For me, though, I consider it far away if I have to travel to another prefecture—or if someone has to come from another prefecture.
(3 replies left)
Taking the bullet train is a bit of a distance, but if there’s a woman you like, I think it’s best to ask her what she thinks first. Personally, I’d feel more at ease going an hour and a half by bullet train to Nagoya than being asked to go somewhere like Omiya or Urawa, even though they’re less than an hour away, because I’m not very familiar with those areas. Marika
(3 replies left)